Archive for December 3, 2008

March 4, 1966.

A date that will live in infamy for the music world – at least, one of the dates concerning “The Beatles.” That day, John Lennon was interviewed by Maureen Cleave in the London Evening Standard, when he was quoted:

“Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.”

beatles-and-batmanAnd then the fun – and death threats – began. The Beatles went on to be this world’s most prolific songwriting rock group and the Catholic Church made it their benchmark to quell their fame and quash that remark. How’d that work out?

More than 40 years later, as noted in the Times Online, the Vatican got tired of fighting that battle and realized the scoreboard was skewed slightly in John Lennon’s favor.

Yesterday’s edition of L’Osservatore Romano said that “after so many years it sounds merely like the boasting of an English working-class lad struggling to cope with unexpected success… The talent of Lennon and the other Beatles gave us some of the best pages in modern pop music,” said the newspaper, which has recently tried to shake off its stuffy image by covering popular cultural events such as the Oscars.

So, lemme get this right… for more than 40 years, the Vatican has carried this weed for this band and threatened to use that rosary in unspeakable ways for that impious comment. Because of the Church’s vitriol, this statement by the heroin-induced band leader has had more lives than a church fence cat. And now, because it seems circulation rates are down for the Vatican paper, you come out and extol the unadulterated brilliance of that British infidel?!

MEMO to Pope B16: Does your blessed assurance make a beeping noise when you back up that fast?!

Here’s a follow-up question to play off a familiar aphorism: If an apology is hurled out in a crowded world, and no one is there to read, does anyone care? Yeah, not so much. Yoko-Oh-No, indeed.

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Much to the chagrin of cosmetic surgeons everywhere, Pope Benedict XVI has decided to speak out against that overhyped and uber-plastic “skin-deep” beauty.

Pope Benedict’s message said, “The necessity and urgency of a renewed dialogue between esthetics [sic] and ethics, among beauty, truth and goodness, comes up not only in contemporary cultural and artistic debates, but also in daily life… When beauty is understood only as an exterior reality ‘as an appearance to be pursued at all costs’ then truth and goodness are left behind.”

plastic-surgeryUm, Il Papa? While you have been kicking it in your red suede shoes, have you bothered to check global advertising lately?

Regardless the publication, check the story.

Everything is skewed toward being a Size Negative 2, as if looking like a Somalian refugee was sexy. If that’s the case, those dimwitted photo-“journalists” need to escape to the Motherland. Given famine in this economy, I’m certain they will find America’s Next Top Model languishing in some hut somewhere.

Which by the way, with those gripping pictures, you think any of those photographers ever gives those kids a sandwich?! I’m just sayin’. Next?

“Our witness, therefore, must nourish itself with this beauty; our proclamation of the Gospel must be received as something beautiful and new. For this to happen, it is necessary to know how to communicate with the language of images and symbols,” the Pope said.

How? Simple. Ignore them.

With all these pre-pubescent and impressionable girls being molded in the fashion of her “totally awesome” starlet, it’s no wonder those magazine haven’t been hurting in this economy. Puh-lease. The day people stand up to the propagated imagery of subjective beauty in this country is the day… well, let’s just say headlines may be about a rapture of sorts.

It’s the way of the world, Pope B16. If you want to change, create the alternative. You know, if you want to show the world that living humble is the way to go, consider that next time you are blinging with a golden scepter and dripping in brushed velvet robes.

And not so fast, megachurch pastor of the world (seen usually on TBN). This means you as well. You want your church girls to have a healthy self-image, consult your wife who is hooking herself up with Botulism so her crow’s feet aren’t rocking talons across her face. Now, that’s a reality going straight to the bone.

Again, I’m just sayin’. Too bad they aren’t listening.

episcopal-church-welcomes-everybody

Not my idea. I just work here. IJS.

Man, this is a depression. Even the Church can’t stay in business, at least the Episcopal one, which seems to have to more people leaving it than tourists in India and the Middle East.

According to Catholic News Wire, Fort Worth becomes the fourth diocese to get biblical and create a mass exodus from the Episcopal Church.

Why? Is it how eerily closely assimilated they are to the Catholic Church without all those pesky indulgences? Maybe it was the eggheaded marketing campaign about slicing carrots that got more people laughing and pointing than consuming Vitamin C?

No, it was this:

A husband wearing a dress and skirts to teach Sunday School in church, another pastor wants to perform same-sex unions. Young people crave a safe haven. Bible churches have something steady and secure to hold onto. In The Episcopal Church (TEC) we have shifting sands, relationships of every sort are accepted. We are on a collision mode. The Diocese of Ft. Worth is held in trust for the diocese not beyond to the TEC. The notion of a national church is mythical,” she [some lay chic noted in the story] said, according to VirtueOnline.

Hrm. You mean having a pastor in drag prosletyzing about living a life of righteousness isn’t actually Feng Shui pablum?! Say it isn’t so! When I was seminary, I can’t tell you how many conversations I had with intellectuals and theologians about how I wish I could see two dudes tonguing each other down in a pew and use that for an illustrated sermon on “David loved… and I mean, loved… Jonathon.”

Yeah, I didn’t think so, and evidently, neither did Fort Worth Bishop Jack Iker:

“This diocese stands for orthodox Christianity, and we are increasingly at odds with the revisionist practices and teachings of the official leadership of The Episcopal Church. The Episcopal Church we once knew no longer exists. To contend for the faith as traditional Episcopalians has brought us to this time of realignment in the Body of Christ.”

Here, here. I mean, the Brits aren’t clones of their American cousins across the bay, but when the Anglican Church and John Cabot set sail for a brighter frontier satellite church, they weren’t planning on all this hullabaloo. Who’s next? Probably some diocese in California.

Oh no, not the whole homosexual loves Hollywood uber-tolerance thing. I was talking about carrot farms. Geesh, people!

Meet Rev. George Docherty.

pledge-of-allegianceEver heard of him? Yeah, me neither. At least I had no recollection of him until I read about his demise in this obituary from UPI.

Evidently, prayer warriors and flag-waving Americans alike, we should all hold a warm spot for this 97-year old pastor because had it not been for his moral turpitude, our Pledge of Allegiance would be remarkably different. You see, his epithet will read something to the affect of “George Docherty: Under God.”

As pastor of the New York Avenue Presbyterian Church in Washington, which had been President Abraham Lincoln‘s church, Docherty presided over the traditional Lincoln Sunday service attended by presidents on the Sunday closest to Lincoln’s Birthday. In 1954, he urged adding “under God” to the pledge with President Dwight Eisenhower in the congregation. “To omit the words ‘under God’ in the Pledge of Allegiance is to omit the definitive factor in the American way of life,” Docherty said.

True. And to this day, his bold claim has been under attack, threatened to be eradicated and insulted by pukes and pundits alike. Yet, there it is:

…One Nation under God…

You know, as a body of believers, we may not win every battle and HiScrivener Theorem #1 may be in full effect […that bigotry against Christians is the only accepted and welcomed prejudice left in this country to march against…] but when I hear those four words spoken in unison, it does my heart proud and my bevy of smug comments reserved for the ACLU even prouder.

God speed, Pastor Docherty. And thank you.