Posts Tagged ‘election’

Thanks to WOW News’ Dan Gilgoff of U.S. News’ “God & Country” fame, we have an interesting Gallup poll result that shows the most supportive and non-supportive religious groups of the BarackStar.

As much as the election cycle hit COGIC churches causing many pastors of the community to drool feverishly like Cujo, you would Protestants would skyrocket to the top of list. Nope.

Evidently, all this ballyhoo about socializeder, universal health care and offering every banking institution in this country a golden parachuteer, part of the stimulus package, it seems Jews heart the president.

Gallup Jews love the president

You do understand the irony here? Right?

President Obama isn’t the most “pro-Israeli” commander-in-chief. No, nothing about the whole “Hussein” thing; it’s his policy. Recently, in his United Nations’ speech, he declared, “Israel has been occupying the Palestinian State since 1967.”

While his ratings were glowing on Al-Jazzera TV, I’m sure there were a few Jews in this country – and their country – that weren’t too entirely thrilled to hear that mess.

Lots of American Jews, according to pollsters, tend to vote Democratic as seen in Florida and Pennsylvania last year. Notwithstanding that, this number has plummeted from 83 percent in January.

It seems all that shmoozing for Iranian favor has a few Jews… well, calling bupkes.

The moral of this poll? Anyone can fake it for a few months but after a while, even those you lie with begin to demand an explanation.

So, in case you live in Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber (I’m sure it’s on eBay), I’m sure you know someone – if not gotten the cooties personally – who has caught H1N1, affectionately known as “Swine Flu.

Flu in the PewsIt’s so bad out there, there’s a new verb about to be included in the global lexicon – purelled.

I mean, I break wind and grab a bottle of that magical salve in case some of those airborne rockets lands on my fingertips.

You’ve seen that green bottle of gold everywhere – college campuses, office lobbies, restrooms and even football stadiums.

However, this next story from the Pennsylvania Patriot-News gives a fresh and sanitized meaning to “Cleanliness is next to godliness” as holy water is being replaced by… you guessed it, hand sanitizer.

“In an effort to minimize exposure to the H1N1 flu and other diseases, we have joined other Catholic churches in temporarily removing the Holy Water from the entrances to the Cathedral,” the St. Patrick Cathedral bulletin informed parishioners on Sunday.

Apparently, the sign of the Cross isn’t good enough for church-going folk. Now, we will place our flu-ridden bodies in the hands of the Red Cross.

“Please remember that when greeting people before and after Mass and during the Sign of Peace, a simple head bow can replace the handshake and be healthier for everyone,” the bulletin said.

No more shaking hands during service. Keep the flu out of the pews, brothers and sisters! Now, it’s just the knowing nod until further notice.

Hopefully this pandemic will end by 2012. That’s election season. What’s a politician to do when they can’t “shake hands and kiss babies”?! Poor things.

Thanks to a masonry shout out to Another Brick in the Wall, Polycarp [AKA MultiTilapia, PluristicFish, MultiplePersonalityDisorderStryper, et al] by way of Politico and AmericaBlog (the supreme scooper of this… er, uh, story), we have a fascinating story of hyperbole, science fiction, religion, the occult and half-baked folk who seriously need to seek professional help.

Oh yeah, and the BarackStar’s mama. Thought that would get your attention…

Obama Mama DramaSo, the Mormons have this quirky practice where they believe they can baptize a living person on behalf of a corpse.

This way, any breathing person who in fact doesn’t possess the soul of the dead one can be the baptisee by proxy.

Yeah, perfectly normal.

However, as bananas as this practice is (which uh, completely slaps this Apostle Paul guy in the mullet, so says 1 Corinthians 15:29), the Latter-day Saints are “investigating a ‘serious breach of religious code'” for the baptism (vicarious, temple baptism) of Stanley Ann Durham, the deceased mother of President Barack Obama.

Should be another normal post on the Wall, eh?

Thanks to this screen grab from the registration-only, Mormon-only Web site,, we see the LDS church snagged the soul of the President’s mother – fresh with her new posthumous baptism date?! No, you haven’t seen this on MSNBC? Don’t fret… you probably won’t.

But, as we see on the dates given, the Mormons (who honestly can – and will – do this to anyone) baptized President Obama’s mother amidst the election.

Why is this news to me? Two words: Proposition 8

The LDS Church took on hell to combat gay marriage in California. The money, the advocacy, the mission against – in their words – a liberal agenda. Well, who heads up said “liberal agenda”?!

That would be the son of whose mother you just tried to snatch from death’s grasp to baptize – only to use another person in her stead.

There is a reason they do it in secret. Look at that thing?!

There is a reason they do it in secret. Look at that thing?!

What the…

I didn’t see the Pope asking for former priests to be taken out of purgatory thanks to the long arm of the Mormon law. I don’t believe Billy Graham called up the temple lords looking for Baptist legends to be resurrected.

You see, both know the rapture of the saints will take care of that ballyhoo. But while the Mormons have their eyes set on extraterrestrial lands of beneficence, children of God KNOW their Daddy and how he would act.

My father ain’t a monkey and he dang sure ain’t E.T. This is not a political story, this is a theological story. It just so happens that leader of the free world is thrust in the middle of this boondoggle. My only question is if someone tried dragging my mother through some muck and mire, I would expense everything I had to open a can of whoop @$$.

He is the president… and what’s he doing about this?! Only time will tell. Well, unless the Mormons get involved.

100 days. Oh, how fast they have gone. And what do we have to show for them?

Well, in case you have no clue, our President will be reminding you of those accomplishments with tonight’s news conference (except on FOX – gee, ya’ think that’s not a political “bite me”? Shameful).

Perhaps, the two things you won’t hear our fearless leader discuss is “What the eff was that fool doing with his plane buzzing the tower at Ground Zero?!” (I mean, stupid!) and anything about his faith.

obama_matrixAfter all, he did go out of his way to court the Christian vote, so at least we should be kept apprised of his ecumenical exploits as he dodges every vitriol-ridden bullet in the media (note the picture). So, thanks to U.S. News & World Report, we have the Top 10 Obama Faith Moments.

[Cue timpani drum roll and away we go… until the next 100 day countdown is over]

10. Faith Round Table at the Inauguration – Although Rick Warren really shined during his inauguration prayer, others representing “faith” did not so much including Gene Robinson, the first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal church. You know, he believes in the entire Bible… save a few scriptures found in the Old Testament. Too-mato, Toe-mah-to. Meh?

9. Saving his First Presidential Interview for an Arabic Network – I’m thinking he would like a redo on this, because his communications team took a beating for this faux-pas. He became a pugilist fighting the rumor mill about Barack Obama beginning life as Barack X, and then he does this?! I get his heritage, but you have 300 million people who hold that part of you with complete subjection. Even CNN & MSNBC wanted to cuss him out.

8. Lifting the Ban on “Family Planning” Groups South of the Border – Otherwise known as the “Mexico City Policy” (get it?), Obama went straight after the scowl of anti-abortion groups. Evidently, his “new Democratic tack on abortion” had nothing to do with Democracy. I didn’t get a vote. You? And he even did it on the Roe V. Wade anniversary. So sweet.

7. Praying with the Troops – This is highly commendable. Although it’s outside D.C., when Obama shows up at a mucho vetted and notably commissioned rally, it opens in prayer. Now, granted, if Bush would have done this, it would have been the Apocalypse, but eh… at least God gets his props, so it’s a wash for me.

6. Faith-based Office Redux – Bush created it. Obama obliterated it. The Office of Faith Based and Community Initiatives, um… Faith-based and Neighborhood Partnerships is our President’s take on what this sacred seat should be. Oh sure, his goal is to make churches hire ANYONE outside of faith, but hopefully activist groups will stand up. Oh… they’re still sitting down on this issue… OK, well, enjoy your new, interesting cube mates at your church gig.

obama-change5. Faith-based, Non-surgical Enhancements – So, after he dumbed down the Faith-based office to focus on Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood and singing Kumbaya with Imams, Rabbis, Kohens, Buddhists Monks and those fools selling insurance in airports, Obama decided to create a “Faith Advisory Council.” This group of esteemed, ecumenical insiders would basically do the same job the aforementioned choral group would do. Only know, they have their own stationery. At least they feel important, which is why we really use taxpayer money. Isn’t that what really matters?

4. Joe Biden Gets Ashy – Catholics around the world observe Lent, not just out of necessity, but it’s sarcosanct. They don’t need a presser, news conference or the like, but good ol’, train-driving Joe “Veep” Biden had to make his trip to the conclave a photo opportunity (and don’t think it was anything otherwise). Faith is important, even in the White House. But isn’t there a scripture or two about putting your alms before men? Maybe it’s just me. Good thing his lotion was handy. That stuff is a pain to get out of freshly copied confidential memos, or so I’ve heard.

3. Petal Up for Those Stems – It was expected, but not so soon after Obama took his oath, he reversed Bush’s limits on federal funding for embroynic stem-cell research. See, people equate offering up stem cells for “research” as granting access to a womb of an eight-month child in utero. Legalistic for some. Malevolent for many. But prayerfully, God’s Word prevails here: “As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.” If there is a sacrifice to be made, let it count for something.

2. Catholics Fight for their Nourishing Mother – Many presidents have given commencement speeches, but when Obama made public he was jet-setting to Notre Dame, the Catholic Church freaked out. He may be the nation’s president (yes, whether you voted for him or not… so please stop with the anti-American drivel), but he is not going to win a “Papal Favorite Guy” contest any time soon. Pity. I’ll bet Obama would rock the Papal robes and bling.

1. Jive “Turkey” – Not only was his first TV interview reserved for a Muslim network, but his first presidential appearance in a foreign land was in a Muslim nation. Don’t get me wrong, and I have argued many times that Muslims – although we differ theologically – are wonderful, amazing human beings. However, look at this from a Judeo-Christian, we-hate-terrorists-and-lump-them-into-the-global-Muslim-gene-pool perspective. If I have learned anything in my craft, it’s “Perception is reality.” No, it’s not fair, but you can’t tell 300 million people what they see isn’t actually what they think. The longest 18 inches in the world is the path from someone’s brain to their heart. You “feel” me?

Every once in a while, we are privileged (and extremely miffed) to hear a story that makes us thing, “I told ya’ so.”

This story from WOW News’ WND is just that story about the BarackStar and his growing deity.

I know, he’s not really. However, we first were introduced to him during the presidential campaign as the “Messiah“. Next, noted eschatologists took it upon themselves to uh, prove that he wasn’t the Antichrist.

News has been serene about “God-Obama” sightings since he was elected into office.

He didn’t turn water into wine at one of many inaugural balls. No one has fainted during one of his stimulus talk appearances, and he didn’t have to raise them from their innoculated state. And although he is persecuted daily, there’s no rumor of his plight back to the community taking a detour on the Via Dolorosa.

Possible foreshadowing to his presidential library

Possible foreshadowing to his presidential library

But all that tweeting birds, sunshine on my face stops with this oddball sighting at a local library not near you:

A bookstore in Texas has sparked some comments – and criticisms – for having displayed a number of books about Barack and Michelle Obama under a “Religion” sign in the children’s section of its facility.

Me thinks I know the political affiliation of the store manager. Hrm.

Now, I don’t want to drop names of the book store, but let’s just say this story “BORDERS” on the inane. (Too much?)

So, a spokesperson from this anonymous bookstore got some nasty voice mails and issued this statement:

“We are a completely politically neutral organization,” [Ann Roman] said. “As you can imagine we carry every political perspective, authors from both parties. What happened here is those books were for kids and they were put under an overarching sign. Our team did not mean to imply an inappropriate classification.”

Someone may not have meant to imply anything, but here’s a thought. Anyone at Borderer, this bookstore have a house? Would you let an interior decorator even put a friggin’ lamp in the wrong place? Uh, no.

So while your organization didn’t mean to imply this strange obsession with presidential stigmata, someone in this store did mean to make a statement. Where would I file that? Religion or ridiculous?