Posts Tagged ‘agnostic’

Watch it and that mark may end up on your forehead

The Pew Forum has done it again with their latest in a series of polls that show the dumbification of America.

Just when we think this country is full of Kumbaya singers, universal proselytizers and everyone reading the same page on religion, we discover that people of faith, in essence… can’t friggin’ read!

Or if they can, their rote memory skills need some serious prayer, as seen in USA Today by the great Cathy Lynn Grossman.

The new U.S. Religious Knowledge Survey, released today by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, finds that although 86% of us believe in God or a higher power, we don’t know our own traditions or those of neighbors across the street or across the globe.

There lies the rub. The words “God” and “Christian” are about as homogenized as anything on the dairy shelves. Any schmo with a lick of scruples and an inkling of interest in you know, not burning in a liquid furnace of lava, hell flames and demonic drones, says they believe in God.

And that, by proxy, makes them a “Christian.” Unfortunately, it means nothing to more than half of the people with that card in their pockets. More about that in a moment. First, the key findings from the 3,412 dolts surveyed who know nothing about religion:

Doctrines don’t grab us. Only 55% of Catholic respondents knew the core teaching that the bread and wine in the Mass become the body and blood of Christ, and are not merely symbols. Just 19% of Protestants knew the basic tenet that salvation is through faith alone, not actions as well.

Basic Bible eludes us. Just 55% of all respondents knew the Golden Rule isn’t one of the 10 Commandments; 45% could name all four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John).

World religions are a struggle. Fewer than half (47%) knew that the Dalai Lama is a Buddhist; 27% knew most people in Indonesia are Muslims.

This is a problem. You have to study for a drivers license, to pass a spelling test and to learn how to operate any one of your kids’ toys, but anyone can be a “Christian.”

There’s no connection to Christ, no relationship with the Lord and absolutely no personal zeal to tell people about why being a Christian is so important to them. And why? Because they aren’t one.

What would happen if God has a computerAnd that’s why them taking this test is stupid. Where’s the litmus test? Oh yeah, in the answers of this survey.

Moreover, it’s the who in the survey that’s more telling. It seems if you have an angst against this “God” guy everyone loves to follow like some hack on Twitter, you research the most about him to debate his sheep. Example A: Atheists and agnostics did the best on the survey with 20.9 correct.

There’s more than power in the blood of the Lamb, there’s a lot of ignorance too. Example B: Black Protestants only got 13.4 correct, second to last to… wait for it… Hispanic Catholics at 11.6 percent.

But Jesus told him, “No! The Scriptures say, ‘People need more than bread for their life; they must feed on every word of God.'” (Matthew 4:4 NLT)

Sure, it’s nice to go to church and see your friends then go to Luby’s. But there is a world dying out there while some of us are busy taking surveys. What happened to the passion of learning God’s Word? How far have we departed from the Bible and into the country club known as “Church Lite”?

I suppose as long as there are surveys, we will continue to find out. Unfortunately for those of us who mean it when we follow… um, what’s his name again?


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This is a story with the happiest ending of all.

Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus who came to this jacked-up place to sacrifice his life for mankind.

You see, his Daddy determined a perfect sacrifice is what was necessary to redeem the lives of the rest of us. So, there he was. Resting on the cross, burdened with the sins of every nasty person on earth, asked by the masses, “How much do you love us?”

And he opened his arms t…h…i…s much… and he died.

It was a gift to all of us, but like with any coupon, you have to redeem it in order to reap the rewards. You know, that implies a choice. As in, a choice all of us have to make in order to experience what happened those more than 2,000 years ago.

Fast forward to today and we meet a boy named Barack who completely lied through his grape Kool-Aid stained lips and pearly whites to every child of God he met in order to win their vote. He told them he would go to church for a vote. And that he would talk about Jesus for a vote.

But… not so much. Just ask him, like this chic did.

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Seriously. Anyone catch that dazzling epiphany?

I am a Christian by choice,” Obama began, standing beneath a blazing sun, when asked why he is a Christian. “I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead,” Obama said.

“Being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. Treating others as they would treat me. And I think also understanding that, you know, that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility that we all have to have as human beings.”

Man, that’s deep. He may be calling on Jesus, but I call B.S.

Doesn’t he understand this didn’t fool a soul?! He is a Christian… wait for it… by choice. Oh. Oh. Wait. One other thing. He is also subject to… wait for it… by the forces of gravity.

Yes, sports fans. As much as Barack Obama is compared to the Messiah, he really can’t walk on water, doesn’t encounter stigmata or get offended when folk cuss using his name. Yet when confronted by a mild-mannered victims of his romancing swoons of deceit regarding his faith, he issues two half-baked verses and connected them to some universal thought that would make Carlton Pearson shout for joy.

“This is a country that is still predominantly Christian, but we have Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists” and others, he said, adding that “their own path to grace is one that we have to revere and respect as much as our own, and that is part of what makes this country what it is.

Country? Yes. Kingdom of God… you know, heaven? No way.

Someone needs to get a memo to our betrothed president and let him know that Jesus Christ is not a politician. In fact, he could care less. So while Barack Obama is wailing on and on about how folk in this country are singing Kumbaya, he still isn’t any closer to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ unless he stops farting around and gets real.

Choose that… then you’re a Christian. And not one second sooner. That’s no story, Mr. President. That’s real life. Brother.

First, it was prayer in schools. Next, it was gripe at the U.S. Treasury for all that “In God We Trust” mess.

Now, a concentrated group of collegiate nimrods have decided to take on the student body of their Texas institutions demanding “in the year of our Lord” be removed from their diplomas, according to WOW News’ Houston Belief (from the Chronicle).

The catch – and I can’t make this stuff up – the students attend a faith-based institution called Trinity University.

“A diploma is a very personal item, and people want to proudly display it in their offices and homes,” said Sidra Qureshi, president of Trinity Diversity Connection [and resident Muslim]. “By having the phrase ‘In the Year of Our Lord,’ it is directly referencing Jesus Christ, and not everyone believes in Jesus Christ.

Hey, uh, Sid. When you were a senior in high school messing with your lovely hijab for graduation pictures, you were thinking about colleges to attend, right? Did Allah hip you to the fact that “TRINITY” was a big clue as to where this particular institution had some allegiance?

Courtesy: Trinity University

Still, nothing, eh? How about this…

“Any cultural reference, even if it is religious, our first instinct should not be to remove it, but to accept it and tolerate it,” said Brendan McNamara, president of the College Republicans. McNamara pointed out that Trinity displays other signs of its Christian heritage, including a chapel on campus, a chaplain, Christmas vespers and a Bible etching on the Trinity seal. “Once you remove that phrase, where do you draw the line?” McNamara asked.

Hello? McFly? Does air get underneath your head covering because you may be getting dizzy.

This story reeks of some tool with the ACLU calling her up and saying, “Yeah. I know you have been going there for a few years already, but have you ever thought about the whole B.C. versus A.D. conundrum?”

Granted, this girl has gone almost 16 years studying some fashion of history where the years were annotated with either B.C. or A.D. Also, she has attended a college in heavily Catholic San Antonio named after the three facets of the triune Godhead. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until now that a sanctimonious weed has sprouted in her staunch Muslim behind.

Seriously?

And prior to what she thinks or has been told in her local Mosque, A.D. does not mean “After Death”. If that were the case, then Jesus’ 33 years on this earth would be the gray zone. A.D. is Latin for Anno Domini Nostri Iesu (Jesu) Christi. And, like it or not, the ministry of Christ is the “turning point of civilization,” which makes 2010 not the year of our Allah.

Sorry, but Neener, Neener, Neener!

Some do not like it, but deal with it in solace because the money in their pocket – although adorned with God’s grace – gets the hippie lettuce from the town’s half-baked loser.

And, despite the dastardly reminder of what year this is, said diploma helps folk get a job outside of waiting for the fry guy to retire so you can stop making those friggin’ shakes all day.

Nonetheless, the PC kowtow express is taking off according to a Trinity University press release:

In the interest of free and open exchange of ideas and thoughts, the University has held a forum to examine the request from a range of viewpoints… in May, the Board of Trustees is expected to consider the question of changing the language of diplomas.

I have a viewpoint, and it’s not all together sanctified but what the hey… hand the scattered few who have a problem with it to graduate and split. If they aren’t happy with it, how about attend Muhammad’s Campus of the Performing Arts or The University of Freethought.

Sorry? Those don’t exist? Then shut up.

Every college diploma in the U.S. has that because it’s called time. It’s not a religious statement; it’s a chronological one. And for both the Julian and Gregorian calendar, so cuss out a Christian and a Pagan if you would like. This is a Presbyterian college, lady and you should have known that attending your first class of English 101.

They aren’t changing… so I suppose you should. Sure, you got your 15 minutes of dumbfounded fame. Sure, you scared the school’s PR flack Susie Gonzalez into writing that shameful press release. But Kushite, please. “Our Lord” isn’t going anywhere. You may however.

Or better yet, ask your nearest campus counselor where the bookstore is located. No, not to purchase a Qu’ran but liquid paper. I hear that stuff will wipe out anything, including that light-headed issue you are currently battling.

Please. You think I'm going to use a beefcake picture?

Please. You think I'm going to use a beefcake picture?

[Editor’s Note: Now work with me, Wall Watchers]

It’s baffling how Americans – nee, the new politically correct Christian-Americans – idolize anyone solely because they put out a decent movie every couple of years.

Take Mr. Angelina Jolie, otherwise known as one Brad Pitt.

Sure, there’s the greatness of “Se7en,” “The [severely underrated] Assassination of Jesse James” and the great “Fight Club” (“With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.” Classic.)

But then there’s bewildering moments on film such as “Meet Joe Black,” “Cool World” and “Freddy’s Nightmares.” (Yes, he was in this miserable flop.)

But now, we have the reason why he should not be exalted above anyone or anything – or anyone in Hollywood for that matter – because he is one seriously flawed individual in need of a Savior, like us all.

BILD: Do you believe in God?
Brad Pitt (smiling): No, no, no!

BILD: Is your soul spiritual?
Brad Pitt: No, no, no! I’m probably 20 per cent atheist and 80 per cent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.

Okay, unbeknown to him, this isn’t that funny. And what’s with that jacked-up spiritual math?!

So, he basically could care less if there is a God, but when really pushed to talk about 20 percent of the time, Brad isn’t quite convinced God exists?! Huh?

This sad commentary (as he was ironically shilling for his latest flick… as in the real meaning of the word, Man without a father, as in God.” It’s a blog, you never know what you have to explain these days… but there’s your payoff) creates one question for me.

Since Brad is apparently open to all religions, how come a Mormon missionary, J-dub and his Watchtower pamphlets or a tempered street corner, pentecostal preacher hasn’t gotten a hold of Brad by the nap of his neck?!

If that happened, he would be surprised to find out he and Jesus could be “Friends” after all. (Thought I forgot about that one, eh? Thank My Fair Lady for that lovely pop culture reference.)

Stephen Colbert is at it again… and this time, he is making an espoused “atheistic biblical scholar” look like a complete dunderhead (outside of the ridiculous oxymoron).

Colbert hosts some dimwit named Bart Ehrman, who evidently needs a Mapsco to find his way around the synoptic gospels.

And Colbert, after hurling a deluge of scripture in dude’s direction, offers this genius quote when the question of deity rears its unwelcomed head:

“What’s the son of a duck? If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and raises the dead like a duck… it’s a duck.”

Check. And. Mate. Now, enjoy this week in video evangelism.

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more about “Cross Eyed: Atheist Interrupted“, posted with vodpod