Archive for December 19, 2008

Just when you think you are getting too jaded to appreciate the holidays and are fed up with the depressing stories about how heinous some folk get around this time of the year, comes a story out of Washington D.C. to put the kibash on your “Bah-Humbugism” and fill you chock full o’hope.

christmas-time-is-hereRev. Wayne Snead found the pile of toys [pictured here] when he arrived Sunday morning, along with a note saying that the toys should go to less-fortunate children in these rough economic times. The donor didn’t identify him or her self, but members of the Galilee United Methodist Church seemed to feel the generosity of the gesture; many called it a true example of Christmas spirit when it’s needed most.

I truly wish I could get in a situation to do this for a church, charity or just a bunch of kids I know without, you know, charging it. This is amazing.

And what’s even more spectacular, it’s the third year in a row he or she has done this magnamious act!

What do I want for Christmas? A heart like this person. Nice warm fuzzies for everyone today. Ho-ho-ho.

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So, when a guy is leading the rally cry for the Red Kettle, and ring-a-ding-dinging in front of grocery stores all over Wisconsin, a dude needs an outlet. Right?

Meet Captain Johnny Harsh of the Oshkosh Salvation Army branch.

salvation-army-guys-gone-wild

And these guys are still single? Come on!

Unfortunately, Captain Johnny is a widower. He’s lonely in the winter standing in front of barren stores, packed parking lots and greeted by people who are either on the cell phone, in a mysterious 50-yard dash to get inside or just have their pants on fire. Anything, but make eye contact with Johnny wishing you, “Merry Christmas” as he ogles that red kettle in hopes of you dropping a dime.

And then he figures those aren’t phone numbers getting dropped in his kettle, and that red apron is not that fetching for the ladies, so he waxes his board and surfs an online Christian dating site. He met the cryptically named “Cia”, fell in love and now will lose his job if he marries her. Huh?!

Harsh, a widower, is engaged to a woman who isn’t affiliated with the Salvation Army — and that is against Salvation Army rules. Major Robert Thomson, the Salvation Army divisional commander, told Action 2 News by phone, “Captain Harsh, through some decisions of his own he has made that deal with his personal life and personnel, we’re just working through those decisions that he’s making, and because it’s a personnel issue I can’t say more than that.”

Well, good thing human resources got to you before – you know – your conscience did, eh, Major?

Thanks to a follow-up from the Huffington Post, we get more information about this ludicrous cause for a pink slip:

Harsh said the organization’s rules regarding marriage are outdated, unfair and must be changed, but he doesn’t want his personal situation to harm the Salvation Army… “[The rules] are not scriptural. They are man-made,” Harsh said. “God could care less about the uniform or a position. I am doing this so future officers don’t have to go through what I went through.”

What, these antiquitous neanderthals don’t have Salvation Army networking events where Captain Johnny can hook up with those red kettle starlets hanging out on the West Coast? Because if a brother has a hankering for only Salvation Army chics, then why not go after ones that take credit cards? Makes cents to me.

First, he was called the Antichrist. Then, we met the Messiah side of him. We saw him at the Wailing Wall making a mockery of the whole Judaic sanctity thingy. And now, the BarackStar is making an appearance in the Nativity!?

obamanativityThey are completely reminiscent of some porcelain toy made in the shop of your local jail. They are tacky… dang near creepy. And they are rococo gifts in Naples, Italy. Man, I thought those Italians had a panache for fashion?

But beyond the thousands of angel, sheep, Mary and Joseph figures filling market stalls before Christmas, craftsmen say Obama has become a top seller. “The ones we are selling the most of are those of Barack Obama, America’s new president, along with his wife Michelle,” said craftsman Genny Di Virgilio.

Seriously, Wall Watchers. Check out the clip on the lovely Michelle Malkin’s blog. These Obama figurines look like Al Jolson rocking “Mammy!”

If this is Christmas in Italy, I am buying a plane ticket for Rome to witness Black History Month. Good times! And right on!