Archive for June 17, 2008

Marquees are geniusIt’s affecting houses of worship [he says with tongue firmly planted in cheek].

Of course, the little church on the corner is dealing with energy prices. And smaller ministries are suffering because of being pinched at the grocery store. Mosques and synagogues are having issues with multiple services or prayer meetings as well.

However, megachurches (and well regarded ones) are speaking out as well.

This story from the Los Angeles Times interviews Tommy Barnett, pastor of First Assembly of God in Phoenix, 250 other ministries and the amazing Dream Center in South Central L.A.

The problem [these ridiculous gas prices that no one in Congress is doing anything about – editor’s note] is affecting even the holy business, driving down attendance at churches, synagogues and mosques. Religious leaders are struggling to help their members cope, spinning new themes about a society that has become almost sinfully reliant on motorized transport. Others are viewing the energy-price squeeze as a test of the way they serve God and their communities.

Pastor Matthew Barnett is spending nearly $11,000 a week to power a fleet of aging trucks and buses that ferry members to his megachurch at the historic Angelus Temple in Echo Park.

OK, that number alone should shut up every ecumenically-savvy believer who says that preachers should take a vow of poverty. That 11 large is feeding people, clothing people and supporting the lost. What are you doing? Answer me that, and then get back to me. On with the story.

So, Pastor Barnett could do many other things with that money and you know, in business terms, turn a profit. Think he cares? Think again.

“I know a lot of churches that are folding up their bus ministries, but when you’re called to do God’s work, you have to weather the hard times,” Barnett said. “The way to impact a community is to keep showing up and being consistent. We have to be a positive force, and there’s no amount that gas prices can go up to that will stop that.”

That – in a word – is real! This is what God called us all to do. Do your part, and pray for those that are doing what you can’t. While we are all prostrate begging for Congress to get their thumb out of… er, unite and help this nation with energy, let’s all remember the local and national churches that need relief as well.

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Now this isn’t a hard conservative view on the frivolities going on in San Francisco today. Although I could go off on either tangent, I’ll save that for a rainy day with HiScrivener is without an umbrella.

No, this is touching on the product marketing page. Forget the eschatological studies about the sign of the beast and how that applies to commerce. Who needs that stark reminder when you have lunacy hitting the aisles like this cybernetic hook up and promoting baby hoochie-mamas.

Sweet, huh?

First, a robot becoming your ‘significant other’ is enough for a one-way ticket to a padded cell. Are you telling me fellas in Japan think pickens are so slim in Tokyo that, “Girl, I’ll blow your circuit breaker” seems like a catchy line in the club?

Seriously? EMA has a ‘love mode’. Well, there are other battery operated devices on the market, but those usually belong in shady stores and require lots of counseling once deliverance has set in.

Second, what’s next on the baby market? Bedazzled diapers for those special nights of drooling and playing in his or her food?

Look at this from the story: The tiny stilettos, called Heelarious, are intended for babies up to six months and come in hot pink, black and leopard print. What’s worse here? The stripper color scheme or the fact that these are for UP TO SIX MONTHS!

Parents, does your prima donna daughter have an admirer at daycare that will see her traipsing (or waddling… or being wheeled) into class. He lights a cigarette and casually says, “Oooowe, girl. I like the way those stilettos accentuate your legs and diaper line. Can I get your mama’s digits and ga-ga you sometime?”

Lord, have mercy! If those skies part soon, I am steering as fast away from Macy’s as possible!

There are news items that should serve as writing on the wall because it’s alarming, scary to Christians and makes the Church look bad. Then there are actual people that should be forced to stand on the Wall… for eh, target practice. Their actions are reprehensible. Their intent is sacrilege.

So it’s pleasant when items like this video show up on TV and bring a flaming peacock left without color.

Well, he’s baaaaack saints. Radio monitors during crusades, miracle water from his toilet and sorry television outreaches that make wise saints want to flush.

Get this disturbing story from some daily paper in Canada. Evidently the IRS didn’t turn on that pesky ankle monitor, and this slimy ‘preacher’… eh, Popoff found some well-intended but woefully under informed sheep to feast upon. Quoting his latest victim from the story:

Gurney was shocked when she learned the truth. “I just feel awful, I feel stupid,” she said. “I believe (in God), but I don’t need someone like him to take advantage of my faith and my beliefs.”

People like Popoff is why atheists are now forming churches. Ministries like this are why some folk give up on church. Pity. Meanwhile Jesus is faithfully waiting for someone to minister, faithful to witness and serious about the love of Christ to make a dent in the plaster of hate and deceit applied by these charlatans.

Well, since they are metaphorically on the Wall, I’ve only one comment: “Ready, aim…” Enjoy.