Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

This is a story with the happiest ending of all.

Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus who came to this jacked-up place to sacrifice his life for mankind.

You see, his Daddy determined a perfect sacrifice is what was necessary to redeem the lives of the rest of us. So, there he was. Resting on the cross, burdened with the sins of every nasty person on earth, asked by the masses, “How much do you love us?”

And he opened his arms t…h…i…s much… and he died.

It was a gift to all of us, but like with any coupon, you have to redeem it in order to reap the rewards. You know, that implies a choice. As in, a choice all of us have to make in order to experience what happened those more than 2,000 years ago.

Fast forward to today and we meet a boy named Barack who completely lied through his grape Kool-Aid stained lips and pearly whites to every child of God he met in order to win their vote. He told them he would go to church for a vote. And that he would talk about Jesus for a vote.

But… not so much. Just ask him, like this chic did.

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Seriously. Anyone catch that dazzling epiphany?

I am a Christian by choice,” Obama began, standing beneath a blazing sun, when asked why he is a Christian. “I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead,” Obama said.

“Being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. Treating others as they would treat me. And I think also understanding that, you know, that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility that we all have to have as human beings.”

Man, that’s deep. He may be calling on Jesus, but I call B.S.

Doesn’t he understand this didn’t fool a soul?! He is a Christian… wait for it… by choice. Oh. Oh. Wait. One other thing. He is also subject to… wait for it… by the forces of gravity.

Yes, sports fans. As much as Barack Obama is compared to the Messiah, he really can’t walk on water, doesn’t encounter stigmata or get offended when folk cuss using his name. Yet when confronted by a mild-mannered victims of his romancing swoons of deceit regarding his faith, he issues two half-baked verses and connected them to some universal thought that would make Carlton Pearson shout for joy.

“This is a country that is still predominantly Christian, but we have Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists” and others, he said, adding that “their own path to grace is one that we have to revere and respect as much as our own, and that is part of what makes this country what it is.

Country? Yes. Kingdom of God… you know, heaven? No way.

Someone needs to get a memo to our betrothed president and let him know that Jesus Christ is not a politician. In fact, he could care less. So while Barack Obama is wailing on and on about how folk in this country are singing Kumbaya, he still isn’t any closer to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ unless he stops farting around and gets real.

Choose that… then you’re a Christian. And not one second sooner. That’s no story, Mr. President. That’s real life. Brother.

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Ramadan speeches. Clandestine trips to the Middle East. Fighting for Islamic equality.

Is it any secret that according to a recent Pew Research poll, 1 out of 5 Americans think Barack Obama is a Muslim? And if so, consider his middle name is Hussein and people in the country tend to be a skosh on the narrow-minded side of things.

What’s probably even more concerning is the amount of people in this country that can’t tell:

Alan Cooperman, associate director of research for the Pew Forum, says, “I think overall the picture that we see is of uncertainty and confusion about the president and religion.” Cooperman also says, “When we simply ask people, ‘Do you happen to know what is Barack Obama’s religion?’ it is only one-third of Americans who say he is a Christian. The largest single percentage, almost half of Americans, don’t know what religion he is.

The Graying of America

Being president can’t be easy, as seen by the rapid need for ‘Just for Men’ products on that cropped hair of his. Sure his teeth have gotten mysteriously whiter, but that head is becoming silver like the lining he keeps searching for on the clouds looming overhead.

But I digress… everyone wants to put him in a box. What side of the fence are you, Mr. President? What color are you, Mr. President? Where were you born, Mr. President? If you love the planet, you’ll get a hybrid… an American one, right Mr. President?

However, the one that has probably caused the most gray hairs high atop his afro is “What religion are you, Mr. President?”

This is a man whose trek to find a church became national headlines. As was his inability to find one. Sure, he says he is a Christian and many preachers vouch for the guy, but wouldn’t you fall in line with that one rudimentary principle in the Bible:

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. (Matthew 7:19-20 NKJV)

If you take this gig, you do so at your own peril. Everything you do will be under the microscope of American perception. So far, what has been perceived is the only fruits President Obama attracts are the ones who… ah, that’s too easy. Never mind, but you get the idea.

Jesus and President Obama - the odd couple?

Jesus is always looming over Obama's shoulder

Where is his prayer life taking him besides Martha’s Vineyard for some much needed R&R? Why does American media types only seem to catch him knee-deep in Arabic shawls and bowing to leaders of Middle Eastern nations? Other than Rick Warren at the inauguration, what relationship has this president had with the Christian population he so desperately tried to court in the election?

Ever since the kerfuffle about the Islamic activity center mosque place being suggested to be built around Ground Zero, this country has become the compass of the Church and demanding to see his “I got saved and baptized in the 80s” card.

Why? Or better yet, why now?

They lost interest years ago in his faith, but now that he seems to advocate an Imam with a death wish, inquiring (and narrow) minds want to know.

Of course, where the media is going for answers is rather obvious. No one is going to clown the president during a presser about the economy, so let’s ask someone who should know [cue CNN]:

Asked by CNN Chief National Correspondent John King if Franklin Graham had any doubts about Obama’s Christian faith, Graham, who has made controversial comments about Islam in the past, said the president’s background is fueling the false perception that he is a Muslim.

“I think the president’s problem is that he was born a Muslim, his father was a Muslim. The seed of Islam is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother. He was born a Muslim, his father gave him an Islamic name,” Graham said. “Now it’s obvious that the president has renounced the prophet Mohammed and he has renounced Islam and he has accepted Jesus Christ. That is what he says he has done, I cannot say that he hasn’t. So I just have to believe that the president is what he has said,” Graham continued.

Again with the “Perception is reality” card, Mr. President. Where is your fruit? Sitting in a bowl on the Resolute Desk? Somewhere in your chambers? Or are they seemingly like your Bible, resting comfortably in the rear windshield of your Suburban collecting dust?

The Christian Science Monitor recently wrote a great article about this very conundrum entitled “Why doesn’t Obama wear his religion on his sleeve?” In the article, it asks a question I dare you to answer objectively:

What will it take for President Obama to convince the world that he’s a Christian … or at least not a Muslim?

Is that his job? Really?

Isn’t he supposed to be about creating jobs for the 17 percent of Americans who either do not have a job or are egregiously underemployed? Isn’t the office of the President supposed to be about protecting our soldiers who fight for us to have this inane debate?

Then if that is so, does he really have to convince us of anything concerning faith? Sure, if it is determined that he is not saved and all he was doing was playing politics, then he’s a tool for lying to so many in the Body of Christ. However, that doesn’t affect his ability (or lack thereof) to govern. That rests in his resume post-election.

And if I was President Obama, I would be looking at that dimly scuttled portfolio and praying for results. See there? Fruit after all.

Our brave men and women need all the inspiration they can muster to fight for us overseas. Some have their family picture in the pocket. Others have voice mails of their loved one on the phone. And even a few believe their selfless act of admiration is being done in the name of God.

Evidently, a company called Trijicon believes that is the case as this one awesome armory that makes hand-crafted guns… with a freshly engraved inscription that is usually a biblical scripture.

Although no one bother to read the serial numbers on semi-automatic machine guns unless they are ne-er-do-wells just out of welding shop looking to wipe off serial numbers, someone complained, according to this story from WOW News’ Religion News Blog.

The Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations on Wednesday said the continued use of the sights with the religious references would send a negative message to the Muslim world.

The only message most Americans want sent to THAT Muslim world starts with a Army boot clean in Osama’s behind.

And seriously, how is some dolt from the Taliban going to get that close to one of our guns?! Oh yeah, unless he steals it, which in that case, he deserves to get “delivered.”

I wish I had more to say but the great Stephen Colbert has more… watch both the intro and the following clip. Genius!

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more about “Onward Christian Soldiers“, posted with vodpod

Next up in the “Are you friggin’ kidding me” department, we have this bewildering story from CNSNews.com.

So, there’s this federal official (John Douglas of the C.D.C. if you need him) who has seen one too many reports about crabs, the clap and that ubiquitous ‘burning sensation’ run across his sterilized desk to know someone has to be to blame for the widespread endemic of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases for those scoring at homeer, I mean, taking notes).

His official arch-nemesis? Abstinence!

Douglas headed up a panel of 15 experts (cough… MDs who are paid too dang much to do too friggin’ little… cough) called the “Task Force on Community Preventive Services. Together, the toolbox analyzed dozens of studies of sex education programs conducted between 1980 and 2007.

Did they find that sex is free; therefore is widely exercised? No. Did they find Bebe Kids rebel from an absent Dad and an absent-minded Mom, so it’s on like Donkey Kong? Not so much.

Johnny, tell them what they have won.

The Task Force on Community Preventive Services concludes that there is insufficient evidence to determine the effectiveness of group-based abstinence education delivered to adolescents to prevent pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs),” the recommendations state. “Evidence was considered insufficient due to inconsistent results across studies.”

What happens when a city (possibly yours) bans smoking in public places? Do people stop smoking?You know, do lungers everywhere have this grand epiphany when the law is laid down and suddenly the heat from that light bulb dangling over their crown creates a warm spot, “Hmmm… maybe this cancer stick really can kill you.”

Probably not. So, does the city pull up stakes as if to say, “So much for the smoking ban. These people sure are stubborn.”

Why quit abstinence teaching if it would stop premarital and unprotected sex?! You know it’s what’s better. Kids know if they WANT to be careful and still boink someone, they can go to the local convenience store and steal a condomer, have a friend purchase one.

That’s the problem with government and sex-ed evangelists – you can’t teach emotion, feelings and common sense. That adage, “Kids will be kids” has stuck around for so long for a reason. They’re stupid.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a proud parent of some lil’ Wall Watchers myself, but yeah, when they become tweens… they tap into the “Stupid Zone.” Education on what’s right and wrong begins with counting the costs, not covering the costs with something you can buy in a drugstore for $2.50.

Here’s a stat for those number crunchers at the CDC, as seen in USA Today, January 2009:

“To see 26 states with statistically significant increases [in teen pregnancy] is fairly remarkable,” says Paul Sutton, a demographer with the National Center for Health Statistics, which released the data Wednesday. “We’re seeing increases in both the number of teens having births and also the rate at which they are having births. Both of them are going up.”

So, while you are trying to shoo away causes for clap slap, snow pie and rooster crow, we have babies having babies at an alarming rate. Only prayer to Jesus Christ and faith that it sticks will take care of these meddlesome kids who think there is no recourse to an innocent night between the sheets.

In other words, kids should learn it’s okay to just say no… than to just say yes to a judge for child alimony checks for 18 years. 10 minutes is not worth the next 10 years. There’s my soapbox. I’m off now… all Irish Spring fresh. (Whistle Whistle the theme).

Thanks to WOW News’ Dan Gilgoff of U.S. News’ “God & Country” fame, we have an interesting Gallup poll result that shows the most supportive and non-supportive religious groups of the BarackStar.

As much as the election cycle hit COGIC churches causing many pastors of the community to drool feverishly like Cujo, you would Protestants would skyrocket to the top of list. Nope.

Evidently, all this ballyhoo about socializeder, universal health care and offering every banking institution in this country a golden parachuteer, part of the stimulus package, it seems Jews heart the president.

Gallup Jews love the president

You do understand the irony here? Right?

President Obama isn’t the most “pro-Israeli” commander-in-chief. No, nothing about the whole “Hussein” thing; it’s his policy. Recently, in his United Nations’ speech, he declared, “Israel has been occupying the Palestinian State since 1967.”

While his ratings were glowing on Al-Jazzera TV, I’m sure there were a few Jews in this country – and their country – that weren’t too entirely thrilled to hear that mess.

Lots of American Jews, according to pollsters, tend to vote Democratic as seen in Florida and Pennsylvania last year. Notwithstanding that, this number has plummeted from 83 percent in January.

It seems all that shmoozing for Iranian favor has a few Jews… well, calling bupkes.

The moral of this poll? Anyone can fake it for a few months but after a while, even those you lie with begin to demand an explanation.