Archive for June 7, 2008

Have you noticed the craze on license plates today?

There are PETA tags, homages to your university, plates supporting every cause and charity under the sun and of course, typical state pride broadcast underneath your rear bumpers.

So, it makes sense that the Church gets some love and wants to get in this free advertising game. See, the plate? That was suggested in Florida, but apparently the octogenarian crowd wasn’t that hip to having ‘God as their co-pilot.’ Then, South Carolina – with its stars and bars – steps to the ring and gets it done.

Read the story from the New York Times here.

My only question is what are the odds? Tell you what. HiScrivener will set the over/under at 4. Four weeks until the dreaded ACLU gets involved, because as we all know if that ubiquitous and generic phrase, “I believe” was pioneered by the Dalai Lama, this wouldn’t be an issue. My recommendation? If you are in South Carolina, get to praying NOW.

As much as HiScrivener would love to say preachers, ministers, pastors and evangelists everywhere are reading what’s on the Wall about taking politics out of the pulpit, I can enjoy coincidences.

Take this telling article from the AP: “Black pastors careful in voicing support of Obama.” In summary, read the words of Rev. Jeffrey Bryan from New Jersey:

“It’s a historical time for black people. We cannot ignore what’s going on,” Bryan said. Yet, he added, “you can’t tell people who to vote for.”

Some Wall watchers PUH-LEASE send this post to him and give him much love for getting it. He’s so right. This election is tantamount to encapsulate how far this country has come since the treacherous times of the Civil Rights Movement. Historic? Indeed. Motivational? You bet. A tool for black pastors to instruct WHO to vote for? NO way.

Pride in culture and times set aside, that is STILL not your job nor your calling, Rev. Whatever. You may be a closet political hack, but share that vigor for your wife when you watch national news… like I do.

Now, get ready pastors, Obama is coming to a church near you. He ain’t stupid. His team will be knocking loudly on your door looking for a pulpit to proclaim his views on this country and what they mean to you. MEMO to preachers searching for that sweaty-palmed 15 minutes: Resist temptation.

You instruct your congregation on the issues. You can base them on culture, creed or even Christianity. But the only person we are told to follow is Christ. We are instructed to pray with supplication for direction on everything else. That includes our trek to the ballot box in November.

When I grow up...You know, when someone is need of an authority complex, it’s usually good to act like a President or even a Messiah. However, MEMO to those in need of a monstrous pat on the back, do it with your clothes on.

Meet Richard Scott Odell of Birmingham, Ala.

Evidently, the spirits got the best of him as he traipsed butt-naked down the street claiming he was Jesus Christ. And when that didn’t work, he asserted he was George W. Bush.

Now, I have written my fair share of media statements and talking points in my time, but this is a sound bite for the ages:

“This guy must have been to quite a party or he is quite a party himself,” sheriff’s spokesman Sgt. Randy Christian told The Birmingham News. “It isn’t everyday our deputies run into a naked man standing in the middle of the highway. I guess they have truly seen it all now, no pun intended.”

Look at this guy. There isn’t enough action on the streets protecting the community from evil. He has to get nice with a reporter just for kicks. Sweet.

Good times… literally. Hasn’t this been fun, Wall Watchers? Well, back to the news.

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more about “Black Jesus (Part 3 of 3)“, posted with vodpod

Bubbas of the ApocalypseMark your calendars. Jesus is coming back… thus saith this delusional nitwit, celebrated hick and hallowed false prophet from Abilene (Texas), “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins.

Now, I didn’t want to take from his dirty underlined collar, but uh… O’ Bill here is also facing several federal charges of bigamy. Good on ya’, Rev.

Get this:

In a book entitled “The Laws of Slavery and Marriage,” Hawkins wrote in 1994 that in the idea Yahweh marriage, “three (wives) are better than two, and two are better than one. In a situation where a family is made up of several women married to one man, EVERYONE in that family COULD BENEFIT in various ways.”

I’m sure he wrote that quoting P.T. Barnum with a dirty old man waggish grin.

“When the kingdom of Yahweh takes over, those that want to marry, you know, have an extended family of some kind, the bible doesn’t forbid it. But the laws of the land forbids it now, so we say we don’t do it,” he said in the “20/20” interview.

You get that? So, “we SAY we don’t do it.” Let’s teach adultery, falsehoods and how to be an overall leach. Nice. Where’s that line for the Hell Express start anyway. Looking at the calendar, the line needs to begin soon.