Homophonic pastor guilty of “propheteering”

I hope that spade gets stuck somewhere on ol' Neulan

Newly crowned Wall of Famer and surreptitious snake of the pulpit, Neulan Midkiff, gambled against that whole “reaping what you sow” business and hit the magic number – 21!

Good for you, Mr. Hoax Ordained Guy. [Yeah, we’ll just call him a HOG from now on]. 21 was indeed your number as a U.S. district court jury in Minneapolis, Minn. just found you GUILTY on all 21 counts of mail and wire fraud and tax evasion.

Kinda give you a new definition to “Judgment Day“, eh? Here’s why:

[The HOG] Midkiff, 66, got many of his friends and neighbors involved in an Atlanta company called Horizon Enterprise, which promised high returns on an overseas banking deal but was actually a pyramid scheme that took in as much as $390 million.

Offerings were scarce at his Shiloh Church in Forest Lake, so he decides to bleed his parishioners dry with a MLM scheme that positions Midkiff to be the new “Lord of the Rings”, as church members, staffers and EVEN FAMILY jumped through his rings of fire causing them to deplete college and life savings at the chance of a get rich quick scheme.

Now calmer heads prevailed as this charlatan was hauled into to court to face his accusers. One of them was Norman Tetrault, who gave Midkiff $45,000 of his own life savings.

“Well, he got what he deserved,” Tetrault said after learning of the verdict. “[He was] like Satan, playing tricks on people. But is he going to give all the money back? Someone has it.”

October 1 is sentencing day for this wolf in shepherd’s clothing, and quite honestly, I hope the court strips him buck naked of every shred of evidence he was ever a pastor. The solace to all those he swindled is that his judgment will far exceed that of the district court. Lest you not forget there’s a Great White Throne in his future. Maybe then he will learn what “homophonic” means.