Archive for August 4, 2008

Every once in a while, Wall Watchers have the opportunity to read about newsworthy events proselytizing the end of the world.

Be it Mayan fun guy, Quetzalcoatl or Abilene dumb guy, “Buffalo Bill” Hawkins, dates about the Lord’s return have been showing up since, well… the Lord got here in the first place.

And here’s another one, thanks to ABC News.

Apparently it’s a bit “heavy” on the human psyche so “roll over” to your PC and read at your own peril. That’s right, carnivores! By the year 2030, the most popular joke told around the water cooler will be something like:

“Yo mama is so skinny she inspires crack whores to diet”

I’m sure there will be plenty of more “excess” because fat will be in and ain’t no one going to be calling Jenny! No one! Here’s some more information from the report:

Currently, figures from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention put the prevalence of obesity in adults at about 66 percent. But lead study author Dr. Youfa Wang of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore says that if current overweight and obesity trends continue, 86 percent of Americans could be overweight or obese by the year 2030.

So, tell your neighbors in church and along the Wall. Everything balloons in 22 years! Incidentally, if mankind is all going to look like Baby Buddhas, what really is Nirvana? A buffet line that never closes? Sheesh!

If you spend any time in church or around evangelical folk, you have certainly heard, “We serve a big God.” Well, if those people have been driving along I-35 in Kansas City, they would quickly respond, “Ya’ think?”

How can they be so sure? Is there another Todd Bentley outpouring we need to know about? Did someone see the Virgin Mary in a filthy sink at whose stains we need to flock, worship and hold our breath? Not quite.

Meet the Big J.C. (his statuesque profile seen in the picture)

According to the story, Jesus of the Himalayas here is 25 feet tall, weighs four tons and overlooks the highway. What church can you find it? Don’t worry… you can’t. It’s some tools backyard!

So why stick a finger at the FCC and its flight plans hovering downtown KC? Apparently, it’s not for show:

The best person to answer that question would be the man who commissioned the statue — the owner of the property — but he doesn’t want the attention. It isn’t shame, Harrison said. It’s that the owner wants this to be about Christ.

“Doesn’t want the attention?” Stick a near three-story sculpture of a risen Savior in the same place where your dogs hide bones and other prizes, have a home right off a major thoroughfare and you don’t want the attention?! Uh, yeah.

Either dude isn’t quite sure what attention means or he’s got a serious beef with the City about some unresolved potholes on his street. Wanna get the “attention” of the transportation department? This’ll do it

You remember the Knights Templar?

That vagabond group of hooligans known for liberating the Holy Land and have since become BFFs with the Holy See and every Pontiff since the days of those hallowed Crusades.

No? How about the mystical monastic order rumored to be guardians of the Holy Grail? Oh, those Knights Templar! Yeah, amazing how Hollywood strikes mental bells like Quasimodo, eh?

Anywhoo, don’t believe the press – namely not the one the Pope runs out of the Vatican. It’s a sham. They just hold hands for the press junkets and new book signings by Dan Brown.

Evidently, things aren’t coming up incense with this relationship, at least not according to this interesting story from the UK Register.

The Knights Templar are demanding that the Vatican give them back their good name and, possibly, billions in assets into the bargain, 700 years after the order was brutally suppressed by a joint venture between the Pope and the King of France.

Well, that’s sweet. Just when you thought Indiana Jones found the pesky grail and the “Da Vinci Code” lied about it, reality sets in with this story. Speaking of the Grail, I wonder what 700 years of antiquity will do for its resale value. Anyone know any reputable pawn shops in the Vatican we can visit? Anyone?