Archive for August 23, 2008

NEW BRICKHOUSE SERIES ALERT – HiScrivener will follow this one like a shadow to a fat dude. IJS.

Yesterday, in case you haven’t heard, the Christian world (and its respective blogosphere) created mushroom cloud of toxic “What the eff” posts about the guy in this picture.

Each one of them, like the one on the Wall, screaming internationally as Michael Guglielmucci – Hillsong collaborator and the author of Christian anthem “Healer” – admitted the “aggressive cancer” impetus of his ministry was an utter and complete sham.

For two years, the world sent him love, support and a truckload of cash. Upon hearing the news, it’s easy to understand why some folk demand a refund from this larcenist. And in case it’s not clear, here’s a story excerpt from Australia’s Adelaide Now:

Another believer, Caroline, 46, donated $800 after seeing Mr Guglielmucci perform at the Edge Church at Reynella about five months ago. The grandmother, who is receiving a disability pension, was saving the money to take her four-year-old grandson – who is wheelchair-bound with cerebral palsy – to Sydney for a holiday.

“I feel like a real idiot,” she said. “I saw Michael talk and sing and he’s so very charismatic. I decided to donate the money because I thought it could benefit more people, but what a con.”

Sweet Caroline (Oh, come on! You had to see that coming!) is one of thousands that believed the B.S. this cat was shoveling. To which I say, how could you not? Have you seen the video of HIM SINGING THAT SONG?! You want to discuss anointing and unadulterated worship, check out the first post on the Wall in this brickhouse series and get back to me. This is music that would make your knees bend in genuflection involuntarily.

And now, instead of sitting in the confines of a cold, dry jail cell, Guglielmucci is lying on a plush leather couch in some psychiatrist’s office:

His lawyer revealed yesterday that the inspirational preacher was receiving psychiatric help after confessing to faking a two-year battle with terminal cancer.

Listen, I am handling this with kid gloves, because the relentless onslaught of mental jibes I would like to unleash on this dude just won’t come out. So, thanks to Jesus for that. I implore people to watch that video in the previous post because you just can’t fake that. No one – save Lucifer himself – can derive that kind of heavenly splendor out of such a swarthy place. There has to be a glimmer of glory in there somewhere. Doesn’t there?

I have to believe THAT is what wrote this song. THAT is what inspired him to sing praises of that caliber. THAT is what allowed him to finally admit this fleecing of the saints. And THAT is what is going to cause him to finally meet the HEALER he lied so much about for the previous two years.

It takes a seriously twisted and repugnant dude to pull off this stunt. One that should have A LOT less facial hair if he was taking proper medicine for CANCER. (Seriously?! No one thought of that in two whole years?!)

But God… but God.

We all have issues and we have all been forgiven for them. However, a special prayer should go out to the countless and faceless thousands whom supported Mikey here over his ailment. It may take them much longer to get over his issues than it will take Guglielmucci to do the same. Come on, “Healer”, do your thing. We can worry about that whole “reap what you sow” thing later.

This week’s “Cross Eyed” video is a little longer than usual, but well worth it if you enjoy how ministry can happen without words.

Have you ever heard of “The Splat Experience?” If not, visit the Site and watch this video. Artist Marc Eckel has an astounding new definition to the “visual arts” in ministry. His passion to bring Jesus to life will unveil in front of your eyes.

At least, that’s what happened to me when I saw this guy writing words on a chalkboard on Daystar, and then Jesus was staring at me. Eerie… and ethereal all at once. If you’re a pastor, think about a visit to your church. This dude has a calling and a ministry.

Enjoy this completely unsolicited commentary. I just have an affinity for art.

No, seriously. The debate is all about time – as in arranging the books of the Bible in chronological order, according to this story from USA Today.

The Chronological Study Bible will be released this fall in the midst of a Bible-publishing boom in the United States. “(Our challenge) is to take the scholarship and make it enjoyable to a readership that enjoys history,” said Bob Sanford [creator of the new Bible version], who oversees the Bible division for the giant Christian publisher, Thomas Nelson. The latest edition rejiggers the order of books, psalms, and Gospels in an effort to provide a historical framework for a text most scholars consider chronologically challenged.

I adore history. In fact, I would be cast an extra on “Revenge of the Nerds” if a producer gathered a gaggle of History Channel devotees. It was one of the main reasons I went to seminary, so you could say this may fancy a reading tryst for HiScrivener. Well, it would, wouldn’t it?

Not so much.

Think about it. How odd would it be to crack open a Bible and see the “minor prophets” (i.e. Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah) jumbled up like a post-Jenga game? Imagine the youth pastors who would have to create new memory tools for books of the Bible? Any “G-eneral E-lectric P-ower C-ompany” New Testament readers out there? [That’s Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians and Colossians for those who didn’t have a 58-year old youth pastor].

The most recognizable changes in the Chronological Study Bible come in the placement of non-narrative sections — the books that aren’t necessarily anchored by specific people, places and events. The book of Psalms, which appears in the middle of the Old Testament in most editions, is split up in the the new edition by time period. All Psalms relating to David, for example, will instead appear as supplements to the relevant books of the Old Testament such as 1 Chronicles.

Are you kidding? That is like the Christian equivalent of watching the cult classic, “A Clockwork Orange“. But of course, you’re too holy for that, right? Well after this story, I think I’ll stick to my KJV66 and stay away from the brownies.