Who died worse? David Koresh, or now his mother?

Sometimes with fame – or like this infamous obituary we are about to discuss – mothers lose their identity in the persona of the children of whom they gave identity.

Quick… without Wikipedia… name John Lennon’s mum, anyone? Abraham Lincoln’s mama? What about the mother of Martin Luther King, Jr.? Forget it. You can’t, unless you are a history buff, writing an autobiography or are one of those dorks who know the answer for the Sphinx slumming on Jeopardy.

(Somewhere, My Fair Lady is moaning and deleting my copies of Jeopardy off my DVR. Say, baby. BTW, Julia Stanley, Nancy Hanks and Missus Alberta).

That said: Meet Bonnie Clark Haldeman, a once mild-mannered woman now found stabbed to death in a remote Texas town and oh yeah, mother of David Koresh.

We all know how Koresh’s legacy went up in flames… and uh, well never mind. But surely his mama died with some dignity? Right?

The mother of infamous Branch Davidian leader David Koresh was stabbed to death and her sister was in custody Saturday charged with her slaying, authorities said.

Her sister? Really?

Sure, the case is still under investigation but a religious zealot wasn’t the first suspect? Maybe a parent of one of the brainwashed and delusional that his sacrilege fireworks show sent to the grave. But her sister was the first they nabbed?

What’s that adage: You can take the woman away from the cult, but you can’t take the cult away from the woman? Or something like that.

Cross Eyed: Stephen Colbert’s “Yahweh or No Way”

He’s baaack.

There has been a few items of interest to go on the Wall this week, and next week (a brother just has to catch up).

Anywhoo, topical potpourri from the Super Bowl, to a spare politician blaming God for his antics and an unbelievable story about Il Papa and his own round of papal pardons. (That’s next week, trust me. I have been stewing on this one).

It’s no secret what I think about his writers (and he’s not that bad either). So, enjoy this week in video evangelism!

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Going to College: Does “Christian” mean stupid?

If you are a college football fan, you know if your NCAA Division I school goes up against any academic institution with a geographic direction in its name, get the wax because someone is about to get mopped!

You know, schools like “Northwest Michigan”, “Southeast Louisiana” and “North Dakota” (OK, maybe the last one is a stretch.) And add “state” to a directional school, and some Pop Warner teams could wallop these colleges.

Well, it turns out some Christian colleges, despite not being a threat on the gridiron, are re-considering its theology and etymology, thanks to this article from WOW News’ Christian Chronicle.

Just ask Oklahoma Christian University leaders, who recently considered a name change…Yet keeping its longtime name leaves the university with a challenge. For years, Oklahoma Christian has struggled for name recognition, largely because so many colleges and universities feature “Oklahoma.” Prospective students with an appointment at Oklahoma Christian occasionally even end up at Oklahoma City University across town. Phone calls get misdirected.

So, instead of standing on principle, this college is setting the trend to possibly sacrifice its popularity. MEMO to the dolts running this shop in Oklahoma: Have you ever thought this is not a naming issue, but rather a branding issue?! Maybe you haven’t done enough to market your college in the state, much less the country (because before this story, I never you existed).

Here’s another thought from Michigan:

In the 1990s, [Professor Michael] Westerfield said, Michigan Christian faced an obstacle to its plans for expansion: Its name… If a college features the name “Christian,” many prospective students and parents wonder if the school is accredited. In Michigan, “Christian” usually indicates a mission and minister preparation school.

Which begs the question? Why do people consider Christian-centric colleges not colleges at all?! If you have a seminary at a well-known college, it’s regarded and beloved. But have a college known for its seminarians, and it must be a place for the hallowed special-ed.

So, to the Christian college provosts everywhere, I give you this: Why do you have this job?

Are you involved with molding the young minds for Jesus because it’s a well-paying gig or it’s a calling. If it’s not the latter, might I suggest packing up shop and get the heck out of the way for a Ph.D. Jesus Freak (and there are some out there) who is called to do what you are so complacently doing.

And while you are at it, spend some of that cash and mix in a flyer, brochure or maybe some advertising. I’m just saying.

Meet the Jesus “Six Pack”

The Philadelphia Weekly recently created an interesting list that I’m quite certain Hollywood tabloids and the paparazzi could really care less about… but the Church would adore.

Meet the “Jesus Six Pack”:

> Jeffrey Hunter, “King of Kings”. Did you know this Savior of the 60s was known as the “James Dean Jesus”. Talk about mixing up your references, although Jesus was a “rebel with a cause.” Thanks, I’m here all week.

> Enrique Irazoqui, “The Gospel of St. Matthew”. There are certain pundits who find this to be one of the best depictions of Christ made in film. One reason is this cat was never an actor, just a child of God. But can God cure unibrows?

> Ted Neeley, “Jesus Christ Superstar”. So, um. Sing it? Go ahead. You may be all sanctified, but don’t act like you don’t know the riveting choral rants, “JeeeSUS ChrIST! SuuuperSTAR!” Everybody, because that’s probably the closest we will come to watching this one.

> Robert Powell, “Jesus of Nazareth”. I am completely biased. This film – tragic hero, sick puppies, et al – is the first movie that ever made my shed a tear. That ending still makes me sit through the end credits. Chilling.

> Brian Deacon, “Jesus”. Campus Crusade fans? Anyone? Of course, you have seen this one. Check the description on the Philly paper. Nice.

> [The great] Jim Caviezel, “The Passion of the Christ.” A lifelong Vatican II Roman Catholic took this role particularly personal. No kidding? I would say he captured the part. Brilliant.

Guardian Angels? Please. With this board game, I can be a god.

"Vengeance is Yours." That's not what my "instruction manual" reads.

Not having omnipotence getting you down? Think you are awesome, but tired of people saying, “Yeah, but you can’t walk on water.” Well, stick it to the haters and purchase “Playing Gods: The Board Game of Divine Domination.”

Thanks to WOW News, “Faith and Reason”, the great Cathy Lynn Grossman depicts what this “game” is really about… well, depicting.

Three-inch plastic figurines include Jesus bashing people with a cross, Moses slugging away with the tablets of the Ten Commandments, the Buddha with a machine gun, and a turbaned fellow with a bomb and a dagger vaguely hinting at Mohammed, all to be set loose to “force the people of the world to worship you.”

And you wonder why HiScrivener’s number one working theory is “Christianity is Legal Prejudice.”

Let this game come out about a race of people or a “preference” of sexuality and all hell would break loose. But, having Jesus mash the cross into a some fictional dude’s medulla? Ah, that’s just all fun. And the Church is strangely quiet once again.

But just like sexy magazines on a family news stand, the most potentially offensive cards come in a separate wrapper. “Overemphasis on guilt drives millions to depression and suicide. Kill three Christian sects,” it says under the image of the wrathful Jesus.

Sure, that’s classy. And why? Because all religious people are misguided zealots. Just ask the founder of the game, who was probably quoted for this story while in his footie pajamas hanging out in the dank basement of his mommy’s house while playing a blistering game of Final Fantasy 27 online.

I’m sure he meant this as satire, and good for giggles while cashing in profits, only it’s not and he shouldn’t. I’m just saying.