Archive for February 4, 2009

There have been occasion when fugitives or criminals bolt from the law and inside a church claiming “Asylum.”

Possibly a church in Arkansas

Possibly a church in Arkansas

While that is sweet and all knowing God can protect the disenfranchised and downtrodden, evidently there is a small contingency in Arkansas (yeah, I know but wait for it) that believe God needs a little help in the church protection department.

Grant Exton is a gun owner and president of the state’s Concealed Carry Association.  He’s been working with lawmakers on a bill that would allow people licensed to carry a concealed handgun to take their guns to church. Exton says the proposed law’s less about guns and more about property rights.

There are unfortunate tales like when Billy Joe Daughtery met up with an ne’er-do-well at the altar. Sometimes, those stories become tragic. Take this pastor from Little Rock, Ark. quoted in the story:

A gentleman came into the church. He was mentally deranged, and at the end of the sermon, pulled out a gun and shouted something about baptism and proceeded to shoot me in the back a couple of times.  I still carry one of the bullets embedded in my spine.

While that is horrible, this isn’t the Old West. There are very few “safehouses” in this world, and churches should remain one of them. Seriously, this is a terrible idea.

Guns in church or a house of worship?! Sure. Why not. Really, what could go wrong?!

Seriously, what could go wrong?

Seriously, what could go wrong?

Think about it. You are a zit-faced kid hanging out in youth group. You are dating this girl who decides to front you with your friends within ear distance. Embarrassment gets the best of you and BAM! Please, Columbine anyone? It could happen.

How about, Pastor throws down a little conviction from the pulpit, maybe discussing the fiery throes of hell in an effort to fill the altar for salvation. Some tool gets bent about his sin in the closet and starts peeling caps up in a church. Nice.

Perhaps, “Big Mama” in the choir just got done throwing down the solo. She kills and the church goes bananas in the Holy Spirit, but girl works up an appetite. Pastor is feeling it and her tummy is rumbling like Godzilla terrorizing the coast of Osaka. As soon as church lets out, she splits on her way to the buffet at Luby’s shooting at everyone in her way in a fit of road rage. Again, nice.

What’s alarming is this bill could pass… and so the general population of Arkansas will dwindle to the size of a small town. Because, I don’t know about you, if I lived there, I would leave that state with the quickness. Why? Wal-Mart is headquartered there, and have you seen the sales they have on firearms and ammounition? I’m just saying.

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As we know, Hollywood has been running on empty for quite a while. With goofy TV remakes and buffoonery plot screenplays coming out, it’s no wonder films are now being remade just for kicks.

It seems some of the best movies coming out these days are about Super Heroes. Look at “The Dark Knight” (Fabulous), the “Spider Man” trilogy (Nice), Iron Man (Can’t wait for the sequel) and the eagerly anticipated “Watchmen” (goody goody).

Now, heroism meets religion with “Robin Hood: The New Zen Warrior.”

Quite possibly not Zen Duke

Quite possibly not Zen Duke

Some dude named “Zen Duke” is getting nice with “I wanna look like a retread Criss Angel” getup while rocking the kung fu moves only heralded in India?!

Oh sure, you haven’t seen those great subtitled martial arts movies from the subcontinent? Come on!

Seriously, Indian Kung Fu is like spaghetti – it may have been invented in one place, but some other people took it and made it their own, and now get all the credit.

Shaolin Kung Fu was really created by an Indian monk named Tat Moh in 520 A.D. (See, you learn stuff here on the Wall). Long story short, Indian monks would make pilgrimages to China all the time. I suppose it was the spaghetti (ah, that’s why I said it). Anywhoo, he stayed and that’s all she wrote.

So enjoy the trailer, which by the way, has some gratutious and staged kissy scenes. Because, what’s a British legend gone Bollywood without a damsel in distress, who incidentally looks like she is from Laguna Beach. He kicks booty, kinda. He prays to Buddha. And he meditates… a lot.

Although I haven’t seen him rubbing his ears and chanting “WuSa”, it looks like Zen is in tune to his chakra. If that’s what you want to call that thing he is wearing looking like medieval armor. Again, it’s Hollywood. Give the Bodhi Dharma a break.

Meet Matthew Derosia, a renegade SUV driver with a real weed for making a statement.

Misled folk, like this deranged lunatic, have done oddball things in the name of God for centuries. For example, take the protest of abortion clinics. Listen, I understand being appalled by something – cruelty against animals, abuse of the environment or say all that Pier 1/Bombay Outlet stuff they got half-price to adorn the set of TBN. Oy!

No one I know personally loves children more than yours truly. So, when I see people protest abortion clinics, I get it. The war of life begins the very moment one of those little soldiers make it to the battlefield, not when said soldier makes it out of the foxhole – if you’ll forgive the military metaphor (ba-dum-dum-ching).

Now, this... this is a statement

Now, this... this is a statement

But what this zealous fool did is overboard by just a smidge:

In an apparent abortion protest, a man who police say intentionally crashed his SUV into the Planned Parenthood clinic on Ford Parkway in St. Paul [Minn.], has been arrested.

That’s insane. And why? Evidently, to post a sticky note in the minds of Christians everywhere.

The crash happened… while a group of protesters demonstrated across the street. Thursday was the 36th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision on Roe v. Wade, the landmark case regarding abortion.

I presume dolts like this have read the Bible with some sort of decorum and passion. Perhaps, they are familiar with the “begats“? Funny how those deal with genealogy, you know, as in people… who used to be babies. Murder does not begat murder! Are you kidding me?!

Bombs, cyanide and now ramming a truck full speed into an office building. Stay classy, folks. What kind of witness do you think you are really being for the Lord at this rate?

Man, don’t you think God would best served with education, teaching… heck, throw condoms out the window while you are flipping the doctor’s the finger if you really want to sin, but actions like these don’t make people want to join your cause. Those action make people want to slam your knees with a sledgehammer.

How is God glorified by you killing the doctor, his nurses and staff – half of which are probably there without prejudice just trying to earn a check to take care of you know, their CHILDREN!

Man, these dimwits make a preacher wanna cuss on a Sunday.