Not having omnipotence getting you down? Think you are awesome, but tired of people saying, “Yeah, but you can’t walk on water.” Well, stick it to the haters and purchase “Playing Gods: The Board Game of Divine Domination.”
Three-inch plastic figurines include Jesus bashing people with a cross, Moses slugging away with the tablets of the Ten Commandments, the Buddha with a machine gun, and a turbaned fellow with a bomb and a dagger vaguely hinting at Mohammed, all to be set loose to “force the people of the world to worship you.”
And you wonder why HiScrivener’s number one working theory is “Christianity is Legal Prejudice.”
Let this game come out about a race of people or a “preference” of sexuality and all hell would break loose. But, having Jesus mash the cross into a some fictional dude’s medulla? Ah, that’s just all fun. And the Church is strangely quiet once again.
But just like sexy magazines on a family news stand, the most potentially offensive cards come in a separate wrapper. “Overemphasis on guilt drives millions to depression and suicide. Kill three Christian sects,” it says under the image of the wrathful Jesus.
Sure, that’s classy. And why? Because all religious people are misguided zealots. Just ask the founder of the game, who was probably quoted for this story while in his footie pajamas hanging out in the dank basement of his mommy’s house while playing a blistering game of Final Fantasy 27 online.
I’m sure he meant this as satire, and good for giggles while cashing in profits, only it’s not and he shouldn’t. I’m just saying.