Depoliticizing the Pulpit: What Moses says about blogging politics

Moses, Blogging it Old School

HiScrivener is a bold advocate and buxom cheerleader for High Calling Blogs, save the “indoor plumbing” and ability to fill a sweater properly. Why? Because they get it, simply. Just because you are saved doesn’t mean you are safe from looking like a baffoon if you can’t form an opinion about the world around you.

That said, the Grand Puba of HCB, Marcus Goodyear, penned a delightful post about the “The 10 Commandments of Blogging Politics” (hence the Moses reference).

So, for those I esteem and enjoy (note the other “Bricks in the Wall”) and for those of you I’m just waiting on an introduction (believe me, if you are interested in linking and we are synched in focus, I’m game), enjoy. I sure did.

In a word, Jene-yus! Good on ya’, Marcus.

P.S. #4? I’ll shout that from the tallest rooftops to the neophytes that belong in this particular Brickhouse Series.

Do NOT Remember this Alamo

How ironic. He looks like another brainwasher for Jesus. Man, I could use some Kool-aid

Tony Alamo is either an evangelist with a wide-scaping mission or a corrupt, nefarious fool using yet again God as a cover-up for his sin. Either way, he’s mysterious… until now.

For those that had swayed toward the latter, may I introduce a federal raid on his compound… er, ministry and a story from CNN.

The raid is part of a two-year investigation into a compound near Texarkana, Arkansas, owned by Tony Alamo Christian Ministries, said Bill Sadler of the Arkansas State Police. About 100 agents were on the 10- to 15-acre site late Saturday and met with no resistance, he said.

Two years says a lot more than, “Um, let’s flippantly look into that one call.” If it’s a hoax based upon two years of investigation into child abuse and porn, then the FBI has way too much time on their hands. So, further endearing himself to the authorities, Alamo developed a mental case of stigmata.

“Why were they after Jesus?” he asked. “It’s the same reason. Jesus is living within me.”

If I have learned anything in seminary, it’s that any tool claiming an inhabitude proximity to the King of Kings is whacked out of his gord and an utter fraud destined for a more balmy climate (i.e. Koresh, Jones, de Jesus Miranda, well you get the point).

So, let’s run down this perv’s resume and you tell me if this Alamo is indeed worth remembering:

• He allegedly stole his wife’s body from a mausoleum (owned by his own ministry) just as the feds were looking for it inspecting “church property”
• He has a second name, legally (born Bernie Lazar Hoffman). This is Jesus – not Hollywood, you twit
• He spent six years in prison for the ubiquitous “tax evasion,” which he earned for creating a line of “Tony Alamo” sequined denim jackets. Classy.
• His ‘church’ has officially been dubbed a hate group – not quite the street cred you want claiming to love Jesus and all.
• He has been recorded a bajillion times calling the Vatican, “a cult” anyone who go to a Catholic church, “heretics” and the man who holds the Papal office, “the super boss of all governmental agencies.” But hey, what’s new, right?
• You call the goings-on at Capitol Hill, the “anti-Christ government.” I know the U.S. elected officials have been called many things, but never that one… oh wait, there’s this one guy. Ah, nevermind.
• And lastly, if watchdog groups and cult experts like the great Rick Ross label you in their “Top 10,” odds are… you deserve it.

Tony Alamo, you have been called a polygamist, cult leader, child abuser and criminal. You have been arrested for tax evasion and now for child porn and underage sex. If you were the only Alamo in Texas, I believe I would move to North Dakota, or maybe even North Korea.

MOVE 2008: The Rockstar goes on a national church tour

Now that the Kool-aid drinking pep rallies… er, Democratic and Republican national conventions are over, the candidates are forced to look inward and consider issues instead of insipid hate to make a point and win an election.

That said, Barack Obama is going back to doing what he does best – pandering to the Church making believers out of them all. No? The bumper stickers weren’t bad enough? Well, maybe this will work. This story given to CBN’s shining star, David Brody, an official with the Obama campaign had this to say:

An official with Barack Obama’s campaign tells The Brody File that beginning next week the campaign will start an official faith tour in key battleground states called “Barack Obama: Faith, Family and Values Tour”. The subheading of the tour is as follows: “Voting ALL Our Values”

MEMO to the Church: Are you so blind as not to see the glowing transparency in that statement?! The tour will ONLY commence in “key battleground states.” So, basically if John McCain has no shot of coloring a state red, then Barack Obama doesn’t care about the faith in your region.

Additionally, Obama isn’t even the one touting his freshly minted bumper stickers across state lines. It will be noted preachers in those purple states who should be staying the heck out of politics in the first place. Stay classy, pastors.

So, what’s this really about, because it’s obvious this isn’t about evangelism? Oh yeah:

While conservative Evangelicals have flocked to Palin, the Obama campaign is targeting voters from so many of the other faith traditions. The Brody File has been told that even with Palin now in the race, the Obama campaign’s internal faith polling shows them to be doing better than expected with other denominations besides conservative Evangelicals.

Survival of the fittest. You know, if I was cynical, I would swear it’s not inciting faith Barack Obama is after, but rather doing whatever it takes to earn a vote. Ah, well. He could just be like John McCain and not care about the evangelical vote and let his Veep go through the hoops of fire for him.

Wonder who would rather vote for in favor of your Christian interests now? Elections… can’t live with them, can’t go without them.

Oh God, another reason to hate the French

The terrorist attacks on 9-11 didn’t just alter the American economy and our sense of safety, but it gave the U.S. foreign relations footprint a good boot in the butt.

This country discovered who its friends really were – and France, suffice to say, will not be invited to any of our nation’s birthday parties anytime soon. So as if the Body of Christ and Americans in general, here’s yet another lovely reason to despise the French – they hate Jesus.

Not just a couple of folk but 90 percent of the whole fried country, according to this report from Reuters.

At the bottom of the chart was France, where only 10 percent saw religion as very important and 60 percent said they never pray

This was a country once inhabited and oversaw by priests – granted, they were Pagan Celts, but nevermind that. What happened? This wouldn’t be a free post on the Wall without a few moments to opine:

1. Our fascination with megachurches really gives them “Jesus Envy.” I mean, haven’t you seen those streets in France? I’m surprised they can build outhouses, yet alone a house of God on those lilliputian walkways.
2. France is a collective den of cults with major hubs for Scientology, Children of God, Unification Church and Order of the Solar Temple. No wonder they can’t stand Jesus. Why worship one God when you can have so many choices?! Ask a Hindu, they’ll tell you for sure.
3. France is openly considered the “eldest daughter to the Roman Catholic Church.” Considering what dating must have been like for this chic, seeing how her Daddy was the Pope, France is probably still single, really weather-ridden and bitter about being an old maid. America on the other hand? Well, that is the Catholic Church’s “adopted daughter”, so she probably got all these hot characteristics and lived a rebellious life. Shoot, what else do you expect from a P.K.?!

Ah, Vive la France. What Gaul. (WOW! That was a stretch, but if you fancy history, a funny one!)

Preacher kids get stuck with father’s murderer – Mommy

Sometimes, you see the bad guy get what he richly deserves – three hots and a cot. Then, you see the justice system in action forcing you to scratch your head so much it leaves a bald spot.

Remember Mary Winkler?

This was a Church of Christ’s pastor’s wife who was evidently abused on a regular basis. So, she does what most would applaud her for doing – she killed him, on accident, but he’s dead nonetheless. Although death may be too uh, final, for a wife-beater, it does provide a taste of what that nut did to her for years – allegedly.

Mary, Mary was buggin’ (a little RUN DMC humor there) in a state mental institution for seven months and her daughters – ages 11, 9 and 3 – were watched by her (wait for it) paternal grandparents, who begged the court for full custody claiming their former granddaughter-in-law was an unfit parent.

Ya’ think?!

Anywhoo, yesterday the unthinkable happened causing yet another bald spot on scalps everywhere. Mary Winkler was given FULL CUSTODY of her children. Nice.

Judge Ron Harmon of Carroll County Chancery Court returned full custody following a brief hearing, saying he was pleased that Winkler and her former in-laws have agreed to work together for the good of the children… “We love each other, and we’re getting along,” she said. “We’ve reconciled.”

Well, that’s sweet. Now that we have rectified the holidays for the Winkler family, who in the hell is going to explain why Daddy isn’t home to that three-year old?! And what must those other girls think of their mother. It’s terrible why it happened, but it’s even worse considering the collateral damage.

And you think the stereotype for preacher’s kids are bad now. Just wait a few years and give me a call about those girls. Mercy.