Bishop Earl Paulk sells the farm, and his megachurch

NEWS FLASH: He just “bought the farm”. News at 11. R.I.P.

In the early 70s, Bishop Earl Paulk built one of the first major televised ministries from the beacon at The Cathedral at Chapel Hill in Atlanta, Georgia.

You may have seen this fraudulent tool. He was plastered all over the Good Ol’ Boys’ network (affectionately known as TBN), his son did his best Vanilla Ice impression and all the world was their stage.

Now, well past his own early 70s, the jig is up and the church is for sale to the tune of $24.5 million, according to the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

Why? Well, let’s allow this story opening serve as the microcosm of what went wrong with this fool:

Today, the church is called Cathedral at Chapel Hill and is run by the Rev. D.E. Paulk, who grew up thinking he was Earl Paulk’s nephew but later learned he is his son. Church membership dwindled from more than 10,000 two decades ago to about 1,000 today because of sexual misconduct allegations against Earl Paulk and other ministers.

So, in an unavoidable attempt to save face – and real estate value – we have this bit of hilarity:

“As the message and expression of our ministry has transitioned to become more open and radically inclusive of all people, we realize the ministry can be facilitated in a smaller and more urban location,” he said.

Yeah. That, or the fact you, many other dudes surnamed Paulk, including your old man, can’t help but be handsy to the worshipers of a certain female persuasion.

In February, a judge dismissed a lawsuit filed by a woman and her husband that alleged Earl Paulk engaged in a 14-year affair with the woman. The couple and their lawyer were ordered to pay legal fees of more than $1 million; they have filed an appeal.

You know, I have friends in the ATL and am familiar to a few other houses of which their shrewd real estate agent can interest them. I believe those houses start with “Crack” and “Out”. Suitable for drug fiend pieces of crap like this.

Gospel Legend could be singing “Home for the Holidays”

FINALLY!

Thank you, Gospel Soundcheck on Beliefnet.com for this story, update and the latest in a withered string of them seen on the Wall.

For the Wall Watchers who have been pelting HiScrivener with questions on Rev. Timothy Wright’s condition…

1. First, thanks for the interest. Keep that action up.
2. Enjoy the headline. It seems the Gospel icon could be coming home just in time for Santa Claus

I got an update on Rev. Timothy Wright from family friend and spokesperson Laurie Schneider, who says that Rev Wright may be heading home for the holidays. That’s great news! She told me by email, “He has sensitivity in both arms and hands. He is moving his neck and shoulders on a regular basis. He is in therapy [three] hours a day.”

Although this will be the first holiday season Wright will share without his beloved Betty by his side, at least he will be able to be in the home they shared to help provide solace. And remember, it’s still not too late to send a donation or prayers to Rev. Wright may be sent to the care of:

Grace Tabernacle Christian Center Church of God in Christ
1745 Pacific Street
Brooklyn, NY 11213

Cross Eyed: Need proof in God. Look no further

There’s not one child of God who has not earnestly been down in the dumps, hurting personally and shouted out loud, “God! Where are you?”

People, if you don’t know Jesus as your own personal Savior, trust me… life is NOT fair, but it’s so much easier knowing you can count on the grace of God. So, it’s normal if you search for actual proof of Jesus.

This weekly segment of video evangelism is a nice start. Peace.

The Christian “Stephen King” hits movie screens this weekend

WOW!

If you have been reading the Wall for any time at all, you know I have a panache for expressing grief, misery and disdain for Christian movies that don’t quite live up to a Christ-like expectation.

Then again, I will regale about the ones that cut through Hollywood’s clutter and cloaks and rake in the cash.

But I don’t think any CHRISTIAN movie will bewilder movie fans as much as this one taken from a spine-chilling novel from the direful duo, Frank Peretti and Ted Dekker. Wall Watchers, this is “HOUSE”:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Did I mention that spooky trailer is about a movie taken from a horror novel from CHRISTIANS?! Surely, amidst the harrowing screams you noted the allusions and references to scriptures? If you didn’t, that may be a good thing.

Often, some of the most effective evangelism is when people don’t realize Jesus is slapping them square in the grill. This should do the trick, and believe me, if this movie is half as intriguing and eerie as the book was, it’s worth the eight bucks and lukewarm popcorn.

Here’s the story, briefly:

So there’s this cerebral wacko dubbed the “Tin Man” who has a flair for terror who believes he – wait for it – killed God. Now, some wayfaring teenagers (please, you expected anything less from a slasher flick) find themselves in a house that makes Bates Manor look like a travel resort. Once trapped in this temple of doom, the kiddos have to take the life of one of their own or they will all perish.

And what makes this horror movie different? There is an underlying theme of forgiveness of sin.

It’s certainly Jesus-centric, but in the advent of Saw, Prom Night and anything Michael Bay is considering resurrecting from the 80s, this should have that “not for the old timers on the church pew” twist. Jesus freaks, mount up and support the Christian arts!

Apocalypse Watch: The Q Dog is raking in the dividends

Daylight come and me wanna go home

Eschatologists and new-age kooks alike, mark your calendars!

According to Mayans everywhere (and this popular brick noted on the Wall), 2012 is going to be a grand year of transition.

It’s not because of another presidential election when radio stations across the country can begin playing “Send in the Clowns.”

No, it’s because of this pictured quarter-man, quarter-wily bird, quarter-slimy snake and quarter-rabid mythological creature Quetzalcoatl.

This “thing” is scheduled to return in four years to slither on his throne during the Winter Solstice.

Someone warn Santa! Well, evidently a bunch of tools on the “naughty list” convened in San Francisco [insert your own joke here] to discuss 12-21-12, the last day of the Mayan calendar and the return of “what’s his name”.

In these times of economic distress, participants shelled out $300 each to attend the sold-out 2012 Conference, where astrologers, UFO fans, shamans and New Age entrepreneurs of every stripe presented their dreams and dreads in two days of lectures, group meditations, documentaries and, of course, self-promotion.

Anyone notice what’s missing from this multi-level marketing scam cloaked in turkey feathers, voodoo dolls, witches’ brew and aliens? Besides the common sense to spend your money on something more worthwhile in this economy, like gas or electricity?! CHRISTIANS!

People are so hungry to get one step closer to a deity – any deity – they are willing to believe anything to get there. Pick your prophet: Cultish frauds, Nostradamus and even wild barnyard animals… well, kinda. And now, just guys are becoming experts on the new dawn of the dead.

Take Jay Weidner, whose firm – Sacred Mysteries – has sponsored four more of these overhyped and eternally damnable events in the next six months. Seriously? You got four years to go before you are shown to be a fraud. Pace yourself. Anywhoo, on with the quote.

“The greatest crisis in human history is unfolding all around us. It’s not the end of this world, but it’s the end of this age,” he likes to say. “To survive the 21st century, we’re going to have to become a sustainable world — people should want to know how to pound a nail, milk a cow and grow their own food.”

Uh, yeah. About that? There’s this religious and philosophical group known for hanging out in New England villages who could probably do a lot better at teaching this tricks of Ye Ole trade than some metrosexual dolt in pressed jeans and a bedazzled button-down shirt teaching about freakish mammals.

Ah well, while I am serving the Lord and worshiping Jesus, I’ll be praying someone in the Bay Area calls Animal Control. It may save folk some money… and sanity.