MOVE 2008: The General sticks McCain in his privates

To some, what esteemed Gen. Colin Powell did on Sunday was become Benedict Arnold to the party… er, country he defended. But to many, many, many others, it was the final death blow to the potential McCain Administration.

He endorsed Barack Obama for president… and chiefly for religious reasons.

Punditry aside. Wayfaring, straight-ticket voters silenced. That is dissecting the political process, Wall Watchers! And mondo kudos to Tom Brokaw for allowing Powell to break that down with even a breath of interruption. Nicely done for the clean sound bite.

Albeit, General and former Sec. of State Powell is enamored by Obama’s eloquence and insight, he understands what this country needs despite political affiliation – a recharge. This country needs to have faith again in the government it positions to lead them. Additionally, the empty-headed, faith-less vitriol needs to stop so this country can begin to start again.

The Body of Christ had its opportunity with a president that openly advocates Jesus Christ, and how’s that working out? Bush has maintained his amazing faith in God, but America has lost its faith in him… and that’s not good.

NOTE 4:33 in the video, and there you will find the rub. And you’ll note… he’s right.

Obama is indeed a Christian. Heck, Jeremiah Wright is a Christian. They are both liberationists, and that is where Barack gets his smear.

Dude, you do not spend 20 years under a pastor and not get some of that on you. I went to a church a decade ago and adored my pastor… and I still remember – and account for – some of his haughty one liners. Don’t tell me none of that “Hate Whitey” stuff didn’t get in his dander. What he does with it is a different story, and one that Gen. Colin Powell chose to bring up for review:

I’m also troubled by, not what Senator McCain says, but what members of the party say. And it is permitted to be said: such things as, “Well, you know that Mr. Obama is a Muslim.” Well, the correct answer is he is not a Muslim; he’s a Christian, has always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, “What if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country?” The answer’s “No, that’s not America.” Is there something wrong with some 7-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion he’s Muslim and he might be associated with terrorists. This is not the way we should be doing it in America.

And for some sheet-wearing fans to shout out “Kill him” and “Terrorist” at McCain rallies is a sad demarcation on how conservative advertising is going. Notice, McCain is not at fault here. He has openly told those folk to shut up, but the ads continue… and so does the misguided hate. We need to rebound people, realize a person of a certain religion can be president as long as we collectively pray for God Almighty to lord over this nation. And if there is something to pray for, it’s for Congress.

Pray for the Hill like never before for three crucial reasons:

1. Although YOU have the power to put God-fearing people in those seats, 90% of you will vote for whose name is seen more on TV and roadsign signs. Congress has a 3% approval rating. I would dare say Congress needs a face lift… or a 535-face lift to be exact.
2. Obama has some very questionable ideas that will stick 1000s of small-business owners and others that will help them, but all his plans have to pass muster with that hopeful newly placed Congress. Pray for the insight and fortitude of those Senators and Representative to stand by the laurels that got them in Congress… ours!
3. IF Obama does fail in office, pray those four years go by swiftly and the GOP develops a new, appealing and magnanimous face to win the election and maybe then you can rest well on Nov. 5, 2012.

The Biggest Loser: Thomas Weeks gets weaker

Name your PETA metaphor: A snake shedding its skin. A leopard can change its spots. The sun even shines on a dog’s tail once in a while. Whatever it takes, “Bishop” Thomas Weeks just got the tail pinned on his @$$… er, donkey by Tom Joyner online and on-air… and was unceremoniously trotted out in front of America and depanted, goosed and spanked. Ah, couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

If you have nine minutes out of your day, TAKE THEM NOW thanks to a source from Hot-lanta’s own V103. Much love to some hook-ups there for the link here! You will not be sorry, Wall Watchers. Good times and giggles ahead.

Said Biggest Loser Weeks decides his 15 minutes are ticking away, no one is really taking interest in his online pimp cycle, “Who wants to be the next Mrs. Weeks” and so, he calls a national media outlet to keep himself in the spotlight and try to sell more books.

So this fool decides to call up the “Tom Joyner Morning Show” and to humbly “tell his side of the story” with Juanita Bynum.

What Weeks underestimated was that Tom Joyner (full disclosure: someone HiScrivener knows, have worked with on many occasions and respect a good deal) is much, much smarter than he presumed. You see, the MOMENT Joyner sniffs the manure, he called B.S. Right on, brother! Here are some more lowlights of this hilarious interview:

• The “reality show” is online… in “template form.” In other words, just another way this dude can lie to his “followers”.
• Weeks mentions his “tell-all” book about five bajillion times
• The charlatan denies “hitting” or “abusing” Juanita Bynum. Nevermind the three-year probation for the Class A Felony, all he did was “push her”
• QUOTE: “I would rather push you now than punch you later”. Joyner bites his tongue in laughter until blood comes out his nose.
• He is still pimpin’ because he has a Range Rover, as he reminds us about six times
• The TBN-celebrated, much ado about nothing marriage was just love. So sweet. I wonder if the fellas on the down low agreed.
• He believes in “urban relationships,” a lil’ slap and a push is OK?! Really?! You ask Ike and Tina Turner about that, you jackleg.

Cross Eyed: A lesson with God & grammar

Homiletics is a lost art in the pulpit. In these days of emerging Gospel and seeker-sensitive psycho pablum, the rhythm of an effective message gets lost with the goofy anecdotes and cheerleading rah-rah sessions.

Except when you go to a local missionary or primitive Baptist church or even some place claiming COGIC ties. In other words, a black church. Now, there’s some Word! And if you’re a linguaphile, it’s dang near electric.

Alliteration, metaphors, hyperboles, onomatopoeia, euphemisms, personification and even the occasional sprinkled oxymoron. Whew! I think I just broke out in a cold sweat… and you will too as soon as you click play. Imagine, all that AND a nice beat? I could groove to this for a while.

Peace!

The great recession hits another victim – the Church

The Dow Jones is a virtual roller coaster with enough ups and downs to make the snarkiest broker hurl in dolor and agony. The gas prices finally have reasonable “per barrel prices” yet we are still having to pawn gold just to fill a tank.

And Christmas retail has yet to hit the toilet… but wait, their time is coming unfortunately.

But now, we have another victim – no one is tithing and the churches are getting pinched, thanks to this story from the Christian Post.

The level of activity in U.S. churches when it comes to monetary giving and displaying care for others in need is “lukewarm,” authors of a new report state…

A survey of a group of 34 Protestant denominations found that, on average, two cents of each dollar donated to their affiliated congregations in 2006 funded international missions through the denominations – a level of support for overseas missions that was lower than that in the 1920s.

Furthermore, the total portion of per capita income given to churches in 2006 was lower than in the worst year of the Great Depression.

The rest of the story is alarming, but it raises one stark question: “What some folk call lukewarm giving, I call people frozen with fear about paying the light bill… you know, just in case they don’t want to read their Bible by candlelight.”

The ubiquitous mystery shopper finds Jesus

For decades, fans of the “Ol’ Rugged Cross” have questioned motives of megachurches. For years, these edifices of ecumenicism have becoming more like big business every day… and now there’s proof.

Meet Thomas Harrison, a former pastor from Tulsa, Okla. and a – wait for it – “professional mystery worshipper.”

Read the story and pick up your teeth for Pete’s sake. Yes, “mystery worshippers” as in folk PAID by marketing firms to visit the “competition” and discover how to retool the Sunday experience and package it better. Or how to expose the pastor down the block for what kind of a warehouse he is running.

So, in jaunts Harrison, acting the stereotypical “first-time visitor” – wide-eyed, grimacing, carefully inspecting each ministry, mentally checking how many folk did, or did NOT, greet him and of course, scurrying to an off-beat seat in the back where he can simply congregate and not participate.

His critiques can be bruising, pastors say. “Thomas hits you with the faded stripes in the parking lot,” says Stan Toler, pastor of Trinity Church of the Nazarene in Oklahoma City, who hires a secret shopper every quarter. “If you’ve got cobwebs, if you’ve got ceiling panels that leak, he’s going to find it.”

Hi ho, Jehovah?!

Good! Because as much as we just want to go about church as usual, saints don’t go for that any more. As much as the Bible is age-less, the churches that house them are most certainly not! Look at the latest malls, movie theatres and restaurants. Why do they attract folk – they are NEW… or at least have a slick remodeling package.

And so, there’s the rub.

Churches must approach the “Sunday experience” as a matter of business indeed. You know, clean up once in a while, look for new methods to attract new people, make an investment in technology and possibly use some of that fancy-shmancy feng shui stuff. These days, you are no longer judged by the marquee, but rather by the aesthetics. If it looks good, they MUST have a great children’s ministry. If it has a big stage and some big screens, the music MUST rock.

Now, I know, stupid logic… but that’s how they think. And at least that gets them in the door.

What’chu got? A fancy bulletin you printed off Word and some sweet Old English to polish up those wooden pews?! Don’t get me wrong, I love that stuff. But you are thinking and acting like your church is looking, your weekly attendance will resemble somewhere in-between how your couch looks when you aren’t home and the grandstands at a synchronizing swimming match. And the feeling is catchy. Listen to a progressive pastor and all-around smart guy, Pete Wilson, pastor of CrossPoint Church in Nashville, Tenn.

Others say that church shopping has become necessary for churches seeking to compete in an increasingly mobile and consumer-oriented society. “My competition is Cracker Barrel restaurant down the street,” says Pete Wilson, pastor of CrossPoint Church in Nashville, Tenn., who regularly enlists a secret shopper to evaluate his 2,000-person congregation. “If they go in there and are treated more like family than when they come to CrossPoint Church, then it’s lights out for me.”

By jove. I think he’s – and apparent many more like him – got it!