Oh, and the suspended choir loft that was so raggedy, every time the big girl in the group got the Holy Ghost, you knew the whole thing would collapse right into the baptismal.
Well, a new day is turning and those churches of antiquity are becoming relics of Christendom’s yesteryear. Why? The same reason grocery stores and boutique retails wants Wal-Mart to burn in hell… big boxes.
Megachurches these days are living organisms that dipped into Barry Bonds stash of beef ‘roids and have a hat size two sizes too big. It’s not enough that they are bigger than everyone. Now, thanks to this story from the Baptist Standard, they want to be broader as well.
The average megachurch saw a growth of about 50 percent in attendance in the last five years; about 10 percent reported a decline or stagnation… The churches, with worship attendance of 2,000 or more each weekend, increasingly are using satellite locations, with 37 percent using them in 2008, compared to 27 percent in 2005 and 22 percent in 2000.
We have all seen it – Greater Jesusville Church… West, Northeast, South by Southwest, Downtown and of course, by the Mall. What’s next to help these places grow? How about an amusement park inside for the kiddies. Nothing says, “ooooooooooooooooooo gawd” quite like a loop-de-loop in church, right? How about a hiking trail? Something to get the kids lost between the Vaudevillian stage and the “West Wing,” which is usually guarded by a security system and some blockhead named, “Brutus.”
Whatever it is, they’ll think of it. Through multiple services, church in front of the big screen to conferences for every reason under the sun, it’ll be at one of those “God in a Boxes”. And regretfully for the old rugged cross, the only memory our own lil’ Wall Watchers will have of those places are historical markers and that fun little game you do with your fingers, “Open the door… and there’s no people.”