Billy Graham fell… but he did get up

Good news, Wall Watchers… Rev. Billy Graham is doing well after an overnight hospitalization, thanks to CNN.

Graham, a near nonagenarian come Nov. 7, was hanging out in the Smoky Mountains at “Little Piney Cove” when he tripped… over the dog.

Please! Like you haven’t done this?!

You wake up early in the morning to pee. (Let’s keep it real, people). While stumbling into corners and doors, you get the porcelain destination and handle up on your business. Little did you know, your faithful companion stumbled up with you, threw his or her fuzzy carcass down at the foot of the door – ever-faithful to remain by your side.

You flush, wash and… careen into the adjacent wall, bruise your forehead with your pajamas sliding down to your ankles.

Oh sure, you stand straight up and blame the dog for your moment on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”, but deep down you know, you loved it. Such is life at the Graham homestead as well – except when he does it, America’s holds its breath and awaits the outcome. When you do it… well, your significant other yells at you for waking up the kids and demands you get your blessed @$$urance back to bed!

Ah well, let’s hope ACLU doesn’t call PETA for abuse. Back to the news.

MOVE 2008: Someone needs to “change” this light bulb

For months, evangelicals have been up-in-arms surrounding the brainwashed Obamaniacs that have called this cat from Chicago, the “Messiah”. Then again, others have called him, the “Antichrist.”

Whatever happened to people just calling him “Senator”?!

I suppose one title of distinction isn’t enough for an effective self-esteem these days. A brother needs a little something to go with his afterglow. The closer we get to the dreaded day in November and those pseudo-debates issuing nothing but hot air and empty promises, I thought for certain the blod claims were over.

Not so much. Did you see what the bloviating bigot, Louis Farrakhan, had to say about the Democratic candidate? Peep the video for what he clamored in front of mass audience of 100s of impressionable youth. A hearty bricklaying shout out to brick in the Wall, LaVrai, for snuffing this out.

Now, full disclosure, Farrakhan checks himself before he wrecks himself and issues, “Obama is not the Messiah for sure.” I know one thing, this “for sure” has nothing to do with the election, his ability to be president or his propensity to sway this country into a position of prosperity.

Listen, Wall Watchers, this is not a man who flings poo against the bricks flippantly. If he says it, he believes it. There is no room for the media to “distort his message” or “misquote what he meant.”

He knows full well what he said… if only the millions of delusional devotees knew what he meant. Because from that quote, it doesn’t even sound like he did. If only…

Is it too late to ask for Ross Perot to run for office? 🙂

Cross Eyed: Call me “Justice Jesus”

This week’s bite-size morsel of video evangelism is some genius I found trolling the information superhighway.

More like, I was driving down a country-bumpkin road, weaving in-and-out of those creepy trees dangling over the rocks and gravel below and avoiding all forms of roadkill.

In other words, I can’t believe I found this thing… but it’s fun. I don’t know who did it… but I got a high-five hangin’.

Although I’m not a fan of my Jesus packing heat for the U.S. of A. and rocking like the Terminator, it’s good to see a demon get his come-up-uns. Enjoy.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Cross Eyed: Call me “Justice Jesus”“, posted with vodpod

MOVE 2008: The bulk shopping nature of the Elephant

Elephants: the animal known for its spidey-web-like memory and the symbol for the Republican party. Oddly, one of these pachyderms developed a severe case of Alzheimers.

I realize a hefty section of the Wall has already been hued regarding the word “Republican” definitely not ever meant to be a synonym for “Christian.” Nonetheless, it is and evangelicals everywhere are stained with the ire geared for the “Religious Right” that make up only a vociferous few.

But I still encourage the question, “Which one of these peanut-eating fools is the sick one?” If you need an example, take this example from the Fort-Worth Star Telegram.

Texas pastors are rallying with Republican leaders Thursday and Friday at a closed-door meeting in the Austin Hilton.

Closed door? Seriously? Are conservative pastors the only ones with a stake on biblical ethics?

If a presidential candidate is about the faith of a country, shouldn’t both parties be involved? For that matter, shouldn’t both candidates be equally concerned? Not so much. It seems if you are GOP, you are down with GOD. If you are not, you are hot (as in hell).

MEMO to the straight-ticket voting folk out there: Abortion is not the only issue Jesus deems important on this earth. Don’t get me wrong. I have lil’ Wall Watchers and the second I saw a blue line on a stick of which My Fair Lady peed, we made a LIFE not a zygote.

Saying that, when did “free market enterprise” become interchangeable with “same-gender relationships”? What about “lower taxes” and “a Robin Hood mentality for big business” being exclusive with “being Big Brother for the world” and “less government”?

It amazes me how many direct-mail-believing dimwits out there call the GOP bigots, when Lincoln – you know, the guy who freed the slaves – was a Republican. Or what about the dunderheads that claim the DNC knows nothing about the Bible, when who are the candidates always concerned about the lower-class folk come election season?

In other words, shut up people! Both of you party leaders. Both of you candidates. All of you voters. Don’t speak until you fully comprehend voting is a right, not a privilege… but understanding why you vote is a responsibility, not predictability. Issues and people are what we need. Arguing about cronyism and semantics is what you want.

Peanuts, anyone? I’m hungry.

The Word really is sharper than a two-edged sword

In case you haven’t gotten to Hebrews in Bible study, this is the canonized reference:

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 NKJV)

Evidently, rumors are spreading about the literal nature of that scripture. Take, for instance, Gregory Antonio Patterson – a biblical scholar and resident of the Houston County PENAL FACILITY in Alabama.

Houston County Sheriff Andy Hughes said Gregory Antonio Patterson, who was awaiting trial on charges related to two armed robberies, was charged with second-degree escape after he allegedly used a hacksaw blade to cut through one of his cell bars, the Dothan (Ala.) Eagle reported Wednesday.

Said blade was stowed away in the back cover of his Bible. Um, although I’ve yet to meet the Apostle Paul, I’m not sure carving up the bars holding you captive and away from the innocent in society was quite what he had in mind. But what do I know, I would have used a birthday cake and a file in it… that or a rockhammer and a sweet picture of Rita Hayworth.

Maybe I just watch too many movies and need to stick to reading my Bible. What a cyclical world.