Thar’s a new trend in them Hollywood Hills

Enough of this crap already!

Why is it when you become famous, live in Hollywood and have an electronic stick in your face all the time, you have the right to threaten TO MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY IF THE DUDE YOU DIDN’T VOTE FOR BECOMES THE PRESIDENT!

What’s funny is all these empty claims seem to coming from the same friggin’ family. Meet the Baldwins!

You know the anti-Brady Bunch. It all started with Alec who vehemently threatened to move to Canada if W. became president. Eight years later, he is still here collecting all those American dollars. Funny how that changes the mind making this blusterer nothing more than a swelled-head, gravel-voiced goober.

And so, with the advent of “Barackanophobia” setting in for uber-conservatives everywhere, Stephen Baldwin decides to take a page out of the family handbook. (And thanks to some masonry from Another Brick in the Wall, Beliefnet, for finding it).

Four years of John McCain with four more years of George W. Bush was “the most stupidest thing” you ever heard. And when pressed, you crossed your fingers and promised that if Obama wins, you were leaving the country.

OK, who is with me? Let’s all chip in, buy a Mayflower moving van, pack up all their empty promises, vain attempts to stay relevant and say “Fare thee well.”  You don’t like this place, I hear Amsterdam’s red light district is looking for a few good men. Oh, the commentary is pretty funny too.

GOBAMA: Would the real BarackStar Christian please stand up?

So, you placate to the Church’s ears and bromance every pastor you can find to make them think that “Republican does NOT equal Christian.”

Now, that you are elected, America discovers Catholics vote for you, Mormons voted for you and despite the dreaded (and much ado about nothing) ‘Bradley effect’, Protestants and Evangelicals voted for you. Shhhhhh!

Good times, right? You owe them, President-elect Obama, right? So, the Sunday after Election Day and 1000s of straight-ticket voting conservatives jumped out of skyscraper windows everywhere, you would be in service thanking the Lawd, right?

Not so much, according to this AP story.

His name was invoked at church services nationwide on Sunday, but President-elect Obama didn’t attend any of them. He went to the gym instead.

Well, that’s unfortunate. While at least 54 percent of Americans were in church thanking God for bringing the BarackStar in town as his Democratic donkey trod over palm leaves, he was getting his game on to keep it real. That sounds like a new, contrived definition for “Entering his courts with praise.” I’m just sayin’.

Makes sense though seeing how the last time he was caught enjoying a church service some fool was asking God to “damn America” instead to bless it. Which begs the question? What kind of sour-sounding song would that be at baseball games? Brutal.

More Christian Frat Houses: A different kind of purple haze

Still Greek to me, more good news coming out of a college near you, according to the AP…

Despite the law suits, empty threats from the ACLU and the rising popularity of optional hazing in universities, Christian fraternities are becoming the rage on campuses across America. Nice.

Lambda Sigma Phi is part of a wave of Christian fraternities and sororities that has gained a foothold on U.S. college campuses, sometimes despite the wishes of school administrators. Members get pumped up about prayer, Bible study and service projects, passions they say campus officials should and often do embrace as fresh amid a Greek culture typically seen as centered on hazing, keg parties and little else.

Although I have my own “too cold” Greek affiliation, which is chock full of its own famous Christians (including one who had a well-known dream), this would have been a real pleasure to be a part of rushing. What all started with Beta Upsilon Chi, is now a national trend. And it’s all about Jesus!

Whether this is a response to the tumultuous trend of kids dying while hazing or simply an outward expression of an inner faith on campus, Christian fraternities are indeed making a difference in the student body.

Oh sure, they may not have the blowout keggers and all-night barf fests, but there’s always time for Sunday night stay-ins and ending the Bible study just in time to get a good seat for the game where half you will get arrested and the other half will get their cars towed.

Life at Animal House. Makes you wanna shout!

A Gay Pledge of Allegiance… in Kindergarten?!

Thanks to some masonry by Another Brick in the Wall, “Slaughter of the Sheep,” we find this atrocious story from FOX News about Faith Ringgold School of Arts & Science in Hayward, Calif. who asked… er, demanded their KINDERGARTEN STUDENTS sign their hallowed “I am an ally” pledge cards in support of gays.

I’m sorry?!

The cards asked signers to be “an ally” and to pledge to “not use anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) language or slurs; intervene, when I feel I can, in situations where others are using anti-LGBT language or harassing other students and actively support safer schools efforts.”

If I had half an inkling, I would type up every negative slur and remark about homosexuals, along with a few awe-inspiring jokes, I have heard in the past. But since I don’t roll that way, just take my word for it. Now consider, I am a college graduate and a proven professional… AND THESE ARE FRIGGIN’ KIDS JUST OUT OF POTTY TRAINING!

What possible game of the Gay Dozens can these children play with others in the playground? I can just hear it now [cue harp music]:

“Oh look, Timmy has on a pink shirt. He’s handsome.”

“Yeah, I heard that means he publicly advocates a sociopolitical stance and sexual preference that allows him to express carnal desires for other people of the same sex.”

“Uh-huh. So, he rides the Hershey Highway?”

“Well, that too.”

So, um, if they’re not all about smashing the Church into oblivion, riddle me this: Where is the ACLU?!

If this invaluable organization is focused on advocating the civil rights of others and defending even more than that, anyone see some ACLU rep standing tall for the SIX-YEAR OLD subjected to this?!

No, you don’t. Those fools are on the golf range somewhere waiting a ping on their iPhone about some judge who doubles as a church elder in love with the idea of hanging a crucifix in his chambers. Now, that’s worth a mulligan!

“How do you teach a 5-year-old to sign a pledge card for lesbian, gay and transgender issues without explaining what transgender and bisexual is?” asked Sonja Eddings Brown, a spokeswoman for Protect Marriage California.

Yeah, about that. You can’t. But hey, at least those dang teachers aren’t trying to teach creationism. That would really start an odd line of questioning at home, huh?!

Cross Eyed: Jerusalem, in a way you have never considered

To some Wall watchers and aficionados of hip-hop, this is old news (2006, to be exact).

But to those of us who didn’t have a blogospherical place we called home, this is an opportunity to extol the genius of Hasidic Jew and Rastafarian-influenced lyricist, Matisyahu.

Born Matthew Paul Miller, the boy in love of dancehall reggae and a fervent respect for Judaic law, this boy can rock the Holy Land all night long – except on Shabbat, when he refuses to hold a concert regardless the check.

In short, this boy is the truth!

And if there is a Zionist-leaning bone inside of you, check his style and lyrics. There is a passion for God there and a love for his people that goes beyond a small church tour of Israel or attending a CUFI conference, both of which I would recommend. So grab your Kippah and spodik and throw on a Hoshen, and enjoy the styles of Matthew… er, Matthias… I mean, Matisyahu.