Posts Tagged ‘creationism’

Hollywood can put anything into a chic flicker, a love story.

Consider a “Titanic” tugboat sinking in the middle of a freezing ocean. Do you remember the iceberg or two schmucks getting buck wild in Model A Ford?

What about a woman who is haunted by the “Ghost” of her hubby. Do you automatically think about a woman freaking out calling ghostbusters or a schmaltzy pottery barn scene.

Now, add to that a delightful love story between an acclaimed (but slightly off his rocker) scientist and his sanctimonious wife, and then rocked by the loss of his daughter, this scientist decides to blame God and write a book.

That book would be “Origin of the Species,” and that dude would be Charles Darwin.

Yes, his life is now coming to theaters near you. It’s not “The Passion,” but it may be worth the price of admission… you know, if you fancy a witnessing challenge.

Call it complacency. Maybe altruism. How about irresponsibilty?

But can you call a recent Pew Forum poll about the environment and white evangelicals’ response – or lack thereof – “Racism”?

Just something to think about

Just something to think about

Probably not, but it makes you think. According to the aforementioned poll, and a story from WOW News’ Faithworld, white folk hanging around in church blaming everyone else for the issues with the environment, except themselves.

Only 34 percent of “saved folk” believe a plummeting ozone layer has anything to do with human activity.

Question is: Why? Is there a connection between salvation and a sanctimonious mindset of eco-responsibility? “Well, God will take care of it. Excuse me, I have to go to work now in my Hummer.”

Overall the Pew Forum found that a plurality, or 47 percent, of the adult U.S. population accepts that there is solid evidence that the earth is warming because of human activities. Most scientists have reached the conclusion that the planet’s climate is changing because of human-induced factors, notably the emissions from burning of  the fossil fuels that drive the global economy.

I’m not suggesting we all tie a yellow person… er, ribbon around the old oak tree, but maybe we all need to take some accountability with this environment thing? We do have dominion over this place, and before it stands still and Keanu Reeves is giving gruff voice and mad scowl (sorry, just saw the remake), we do need to remember:

The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof (Psalm 24:1)

Or if you are slightly more cynical about how mankind has dealt with this place called Earth… littering, polluting and confabulating…

I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and you made my inheritance detestable (Jeremiah 2:7)

Either way, the proof is in the pudding, and unless you begin eating it, it’s no wonder you don’t see any harm in throwing that wrapper from Mickey D’s out your window when no one is looking. Guess what? Someone is. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

If you are concerned about being saved and yet, an exception to the previously noted rule, check out either Christian Ecology or the Evangelical Environmental Network. I’m not a tree hugger, just a Jesus lover.

(Sorry, that’s the best I got to compare with “Hell no, I won’t go” or other rally cries. Peace.)

Meet Rev. Michael Dowd.

This is an ordained, licensed minister. One who evidently – by default, no less – believes Jesus Christ rose from the dead and sits at the right hand of the Father. You know, all that “saved and sanctified Christian” mumbo-jumbo.

So, odd that THIS GUY is the same tool who believes – and I quote: one who believes that spreading the word of Darwin is vital to the health of Christianity.

Sorry? How? Is this like that same demented sense of surreality the Church of Satan uses when it claims, “Satan is the best friend the Church has ever had because he has kept it in business all these years.” Let’s see if he is really that kind of a dolt. Mikey?

“God didn’t stop revealing truths vital to human well-being back when people believed the world was flat and religious insights were recorded on animal skin,” Dowd said. “God is still revealing today through the worldwide, self-correcting scientific process.

an-unbiblical-truth“Self-correcting”?! You mean, as in that whole biblical declaration of the secret Christians motley crew known as an ichthus actually becoming a real, gill-breathing fish that eventually walks on land, then upright, then grows the ability to reason and have kids? Like that? Noting your cheeky book cover, I would say that’s correct.

So, come on. What’s the real reason for this compromise of theology, chronology and marine biology?

“As long as people think they can praise God and trash the environment or treat others in a disrespectful way, they’re out of touch with reality.”

Ah, there’s the rub. So, Rev. Is your next message going to be at Greenpeace? Al Gore’s next hubbub?

Listen, I get it. The environment’s stability and well-being is crucial to our own, you know, stability and well-being. In six days, God created this thingy we call Earth, and he gave us dominion over it. I know, but there’s a catch: mankind no longer feels the need to carry out that dominion. I guess it’s been watching “The Lion King” and hearing “The Circle of Life” humming in their ears too long. Regardless the cause, its effect is littering, burning toxins and treating our atmosphere like some used bedsheet at a sleazy motel.

But no matter how egregious that gets and how swooned you are by all the “inconvenient truths” in the world, you cannot sell out your incontrovertible truth in the Lord just because you don’t breathe as well in NYC as you would in Billings, Montana.

It’s bad enough we ar so uber-PC, we have an eco-Bible on the market. But hey, maybe there’s a reason they call the mountains “God’s Country.” Either way and either location, your tail needs to get back in church.

Thanks to some masonry by Another Brick in the Wall, “Slaughter of the Sheep,” we find this atrocious story from FOX News about Faith Ringgold School of Arts & Science in Hayward, Calif. who askeder, demanded their KINDERGARTEN STUDENTS sign their hallowed “I am an ally” pledge cards in support of gays.

love-gays-pledgeI’m sorry?!

The cards asked signers to be “an ally” and to pledge to “not use anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) language or slurs; intervene, when I feel I can, in situations where others are using anti-LGBT language or harassing other students and actively support safer schools efforts.”

If I had half an inkling, I would type up every negative slur and remark about homosexuals, along with a few awe-inspiring jokes, I have heard in the past. But since I don’t roll that way, just take my word for it. Now consider, I am a college graduate and a proven professional… AND THESE ARE FRIGGIN’ KIDS JUST OUT OF POTTY TRAINING!

What possible game of the Gay Dozens can these children play with others in the playground? I can just hear it now [cue harp music]:

“Oh look, Timmy has on a pink shirt. He’s handsome.”

“Yeah, I heard that means he publicly advocates a sociopolitical stance and sexual preference that allows him to express carnal desires for other people of the same sex.”

“Uh-huh. So, he rides the Hershey Highway?”

“Well, that too.”

So, um, if they’re not all about smashing the Church into oblivion, riddle me this: Where is the ACLU?!

If this invaluable organization is focused on advocating the civil rights of others and defending even more than that, anyone see some ACLU rep standing tall for the SIX-YEAR OLD subjected to this?!

No, you don’t. Those fools are on the golf range somewhere waiting a ping on their iPhone about some judge who doubles as a church elder in love with the idea of hanging a crucifix in his chambers. Now, that’s worth a mulligan!

“How do you teach a 5-year-old to sign a pledge card for lesbian, gay and transgender issues without explaining what transgender and bisexual is?” asked Sonja Eddings Brown, a spokeswoman for Protect Marriage California.

Yeah, about that. You can’t. But hey, at least those dang teachers aren’t trying to teach creationism. That would really start an odd line of questioning at home, huh?!

world-in-his-handsBut seriously folks… it really is… at least according to the [prepare for the definition of an oxymoron]

Vatican’s Chief Astronomer, Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes.

First, the obvious – what the?

“Vatican” (n.) – a place of sacred belief and faith in God. “Astronomer” (n.) – one who studies the stars in hopes of being that dude who finds E.T. really did phone home.

OK, so I made up the last part, but SERIOUSLY?

The only star and constellation Christians (yes, and this inclusive term should involve Catholics) care about is the little star of Bethlehem. If it wasn’t that shiny, odds are “The Greatest Story Ever Told” would have been told much differently… and probably not that great.

Now then, on with the aforementioned story.

“How can we rule out that life may have developed elsewhere?” Funes said. “Just as we consider earthly creatures as ‘a brother,’ and ‘sister,’ why should we not talk about an ‘extraterrestrial brother’? It would still be part of creation.”

Look here, Padre. I understand B16 avows to universalism and all, but this is taking it a tad too literally. Now for the truly aggravating statement, and a good reason to get this cat out of a job:

The Bible “is not a science book,” Funes said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most “reasonable” explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.

Tell me this Jesuit priest just didn’t omit the 2,000 years-plus that went into another fairly popular doctrine of the stars and planets called… shoot, what was that, this God guy and a book called Genesis, um, what was it… oh yeah… CREATION!!! In fact, I’ll recapitulate for all those in Catholicism that may have missed Sunday school as a first grader with ten simple words:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

And now for a Roman version of damage control in the following paragraph:

But he said he continues to believe that “God is the creator of the universe and that we are not the result of chance.”

Thanks, Rev. That clears up a lot. Well, at least we can alert the ACLU. God isn’t alone because he is having “close encounters of another kind” all day long. Open up the Bibles in class, kids. Darwin AND God were wrong. Turns out God created you in the image of this sweet thing: