Maybe Paula White doesn’t need that government cheese after all

So, yesterday was an excruciating day – hot, stressed and full of angst.

I’m at work and get in what seems to be a weekly exploration by this one brother-in-the-making about “Why does God allow this?” You know, I’m planting seeds and God is blessing. Avoiding the obvious potholes and reeling in a big fish.

And then, without reservation or concern for Christianity, the most terrible thing happened – one of the frauds known for televangelism run-a-muck, promoting and prostituting stereotypes, and evenhandedly keeping Mary Kay consultants in business rears her Medusa-like head.

No, that's not an epiphany from God. It is actually an idea she had for another cash-grab.

That’s right, kids. Paula White is back.

Fresh off the road from her world tour at “life coaching” (how’s that working for you, anyway), comes the opportunistic Paula to kick the dust of her ex-hubby’s bankrupt and destitute church, Without Wall-ets.

One week after her ex-husband resigned as senior pastor of Without Walls International Church, Paula White plans to take the pulpit Sunday as the church’s new leader, the Whites said in separate interviews late Friday. White, who held her first staff meeting Friday and spent time looking for a place to live, said she will officially take the reins when she preaches at its two morning worship services. The services will also honor Bishop Randy White, who founded the church with her 18 years ago.

Now, a few other Bricks on the Wall have opined wonderfully about this travesty, but here’s my two cents – spend them wisely.

1. “One week after” – The body wasn’t even cold, and there she is, ready to propagate living in a trailer park squandering gub’mint cheese to make it to where she is today. Keep it classy, Paula.
2. She is going to lead… a church – Don’t you have to have some sort of pastoral calling to do something like that? I know she isn’t that familiar with the Bible. Sorry, not that familiar with properly applying the Bible. Nonetheless, pastoring is much different than life coaching. You have to you know, love the people… not just look for an opportunity to fleece the sheep and make a sweet Kashmir sweater for the trying winter months in frigid Florida.
3. Can anyone say career change? This is a woman who decided after her marriage and all that Jesus stuff didn’t work out, she would hit the talk show circuit and leave TBN in the dust. Sure, a few of the mainstream folks were interested in her drivel, but when they realized her act, she was sent packing. Heck, even Tyra Banks kicked her pimped-out self to the curb! And now, suddenly, she has a heart for her nightclub… er, church once again. That’s Paula White if you need her.

“Did I see it coming? … I can say that Without Walls has never been out of my heart or my being, and I’ve never been out of theirs,” she said. “But I have stopped trying to figure out sovereignty and destiny.”

Well, of course she has stopped. She was doing it on her own, and realized she ain’t that bright!

He who trust in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf (Proverbs 11:28 NIV).

You know, when a notable person in – or despite – the Church makes a fall, it really makes a thud, huh?

And now, she went back to the only thing she has going for her in life (cough… to pay for all that Botox… cough). A bankrupt church full of innocent, mindless sheep waiting to be sheared.

And why did she have this abrupt change of heart? It seems Randy is ill, seriously. Now, while that is sad to hear, he had a real opportunity to take of his people… and didn’t. Stunning, right?

Instead, he does what regretfully most charlatans… eh, pastors in his mega-position do – looks for the easiest transition and kickback for payola.

MEMO to said sheep dangling for a wool-cut, huddle up:

• Your church is $26 million in debt.
• This is a woman who thinks the Apostle Paul – as in the dude who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament – was a bad preacher.
• Your “pastor” (ish) is sick.
• Your relief comes in the form of a women who left her man for… fame.
• And, oh by the way, the U.S. government still thinks she is a crook.

And that is what you want for a pastor?!

I just have one question, you know where a brother can get a smooth Kashmir sweater for the winter months? I get cold really easy.