Holy Crap! College students want “Our Lord” off diplomas

First, it was prayer in schools. Next, it was gripe at the U.S. Treasury for all that “In God We Trust” mess.

Now, a concentrated group of collegiate nimrods have decided to take on the student body of their Texas institutions demanding “in the year of our Lord” be removed from their diplomas, according to WOW News’ Houston Belief (from the Chronicle).

The catch – and I can’t make this stuff up – the students attend a faith-based institution called Trinity University.

“A diploma is a very personal item, and people want to proudly display it in their offices and homes,” said Sidra Qureshi, president of Trinity Diversity Connection [and resident Muslim]. “By having the phrase ‘In the Year of Our Lord,’ it is directly referencing Jesus Christ, and not everyone believes in Jesus Christ.”

Hey, uh, Sid. When you were a senior in high school messing with your lovely hijab for graduation pictures, you were thinking about colleges to attend, right? Did Allah hip you to the fact that “TRINITY” was a big clue as to where this particular institution had some allegiance?

Courtesy: Trinity University

Still, nothing, eh? How about this…

“Any cultural reference, even if it is religious, our first instinct should not be to remove it, but to accept it and tolerate it,” said Brendan McNamara, president of the College Republicans. McNamara pointed out that Trinity displays other signs of its Christian heritage, including a chapel on campus, a chaplain, Christmas vespers and a Bible etching on the Trinity seal. “Once you remove that phrase, where do you draw the line?” McNamara asked.

Hello? McFly? Does air get underneath your head covering because you may be getting dizzy.

This story reeks of some tool with the ACLU calling her up and saying, “Yeah. I know you have been going there for a few years already, but have you ever thought about the whole B.C. versus A.D. conundrum?”

Granted, this girl has gone almost 16 years studying some fashion of history where the years were annotated with either B.C. or A.D. Also, she has attended a college in heavily Catholic San Antonio named after the three facets of the triune Godhead. Nevertheless, it wasn’t until now that a sanctimonious weed has sprouted in her staunch Muslim behind.

Seriously?

And prior to what she thinks or has been told in her local Mosque, A.D. does not mean “After Death”. If that were the case, then Jesus’ 33 years on this earth would be the gray zone. A.D. is Latin for Anno Domini Nostri Iesu (Jesu) Christi. And, like it or not, the ministry of Christ is the “turning point of civilization,” which makes 2010 not the year of our Allah.

Sorry, but Neener, Neener, Neener!

Some do not like it, but deal with it in solace because the money in their pocket – although adorned with God’s grace – gets the hippie lettuce from the town’s half-baked loser.

And, despite the dastardly reminder of what year this is, said diploma helps folk get a job outside of waiting for the fry guy to retire so you can stop making those friggin’ shakes all day.

Nonetheless, the PC kowtow express is taking off according to a Trinity University press release:

In the interest of free and open exchange of ideas and thoughts, the University has held a forum to examine the request from a range of viewpoints… in May, the Board of Trustees is expected to consider the question of changing the language of diplomas.

I have a viewpoint, and it’s not all together sanctified but what the hey… hand the scattered few who have a problem with it to graduate and split. If they aren’t happy with it, how about attend Muhammad’s Campus of the Performing Arts or The University of Freethought.

Sorry? Those don’t exist? Then shut up.

Every college diploma in the U.S. has that because it’s called time. It’s not a religious statement; it’s a chronological one. And for both the Julian and Gregorian calendar, so cuss out a Christian and a Pagan if you would like. This is a Presbyterian college, lady and you should have known that attending your first class of English 101.

They aren’t changing… so I suppose you should. Sure, you got your 15 minutes of dumbfounded fame. Sure, you scared the school’s PR flack Susie Gonzalez into writing that shameful press release. But Kushite, please. “Our Lord” isn’t going anywhere. You may however.

Or better yet, ask your nearest campus counselor where the bookstore is located. No, not to purchase a Qu’ran but liquid paper. I hear that stuff will wipe out anything, including that light-headed issue you are currently battling.

Frock this priest!

Okay, no more Mr. Nice HiScrivener.

The insolent negligence on behalf of the Catholic Church and even His now-apparent-not-so-Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI is overwhelming. Any one seen the latest from the New York Times? No? Here’s the headline:

Vatican Declined to Defrock U.S. Priest Who Abused Boys

Courtesy: New York Times (He's the tool "praying")

Here’s the summary: “Reverend” Lawrence Murphy was a priest in Milwaukee, Wis. who apparently had no business being a priest, much less around kids. This sinful derelict was worked as principal at the St. John’s School for the Deaf from 1950 – 1974.

Get that, DEAF kids. Murphy was ousted from that position when he was found as a crooked malefactor who “admitted to molesting at least thirty, and may have sexually abused more than 100 boys at St. John’s.”

He admitted to denigrating the lives of more than 100 boys to solely cop a feel. Priestly, ain’t it?

What happened to Murphy? Apparently no one asked and thanks to the old gray lady, we now know. NOTHING!

Who’s to blame for this unrighteous reprobate getting by for child molestation? Pope Benedict XVI.

Now before you get off claiming I’m a blasphemer and “touch not mine anointed,” this is reporting the facts. And, before you get all dexterous, think about this – some sleazy assistant principal who claims he’s a Christian at your son’s school gets handsy and your kid tells you about it. What do you do? Pray about it because you want to make sure God approves? Uh, not so much.

You grab the closest gun, vial of holy water and march straight to the school.

Now, say that same dude did it to 100, 200 or even 300 boys. Deaf boys. And the principal was told about this heinous act MANY TIMES and still did nothing to his assistant. Who are you mad at now? Hmmm… yeah, that’s what I thought. Back to the story.

The internal correspondence from bishops in Wisconsin directly to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the future pope, shows that while church officials tussled over whether the priest should be dismissed, their highest priority was protecting the church from scandal.

Classy. 300 kids who already can’t talk have to deal with nightmares of a so-called “man of the cloth” molesting them and these nefarious nitwits are primarily concerned about a negative PR hit.

Seriously!? By the 70s, priest and child abuse were as much of a tandem in the headlines as Sonny & Cher; yet, no calls to parents, no punishment for the priest and no public apology. Nothing. Instead, then Cardinal B16 sat on his blessed assurance and looked for the closest Persian rug to sweep ol’ Murphy under.

Evidently, that broom was busy for the next 20 years…

In 1996, Cardinal Ratzinger failed to respond to two letters about the case from Rembert G. Weakland, Milwaukee’s archbishop at the time. After eight months, the second in command at the doctrinal office, Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, now the Vatican’s secretary of state, instructed the Wisconsin bishops to begin a secret canonical trial that could lead to Father Murphy’s dismissal.

Two years later, God finally intervened and Murphy died… still a priest! Good riddance, but as a certain book Il Papa has read declares, “God is not mocked… a man sows what he reaps.”

News came out following this tool’s death that Murphy has been accused of soliciting sex from children in the confessional and in the middle of the night in their dormitory or his bedroom… for more than 20 years.

You cuss at a referee in sports, you will be suspended. You do drugs on the job, you are fired. You molest and abuse more than 300 kids over a span of two decades, no defrocking (removal of priestly duties and that dirty collar), no nothing. If you’re a crook, I know where you can get a gig.

Father Murphy not only was never tried or disciplined by the church’s own justice system, but also got a pass from the police and prosecutors who ignored reports from his victims, according to the documents and interviews with victims. Three successive archbishops in Wisconsin were told that Father Murphy was sexually abusing children, the documents show, but never reported it to criminal or civil authorities.

Did Murphy have pictures of other priests? Something on tape? Tell me he was this master spy who could take down the Papacy with the dirt he had, which is why he went away without a spank on the wrist – much less handcuffs.

As to why Father Murphy was never defrocked, he [Vatican spokesman, Rev. Federico Lombardi] said that “the Code of Canon Law does not envision automatic penalties.” He said that Father Murphy’s poor health and the lack of more recent accusations against him were factors in the decision.

His health?! Who the hell cares about his health after he damaged the mental health of more than 300 kids who, up until Father Pervert got in touch with them, loved God and wanted to worship him. Now how’s their relationship with Christ? You think they blame God for the nightmares? Just a skosh.

His health. Kushite, please!

Listen, as a child of God and someone who works with the media, I clearly understand the Church is under attack. Name the denomination or religion and I’ll show you a story:

• Catholics – Child Abuse
• Episcopalians – Openly gay appointed Bishops
• Baptists – Pastors who make Glenn Beck look tame
• Mormons – Holy underwear and multiple marriages
• Pentecostals – Old fashioned and starving kids
• Evangelicals – Um, Ted Haggard, Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, Pat Robertson and so much more…

What do all of these groups have in common? Jesus Christ! All claim to follow him and none are doing a great job. Every time there is a headline that makes the planet scoffs, who gets the blame? Father Murphy? These idiots in pulpits? Nope. God.

The world is still in God's hands. Praise the Lord.

Ultimately, the question always comes from a good-minded Atheist, journalist or Christian, “Why are these bad things happening in the church under God’s nose, and why does he allow them?”

Answer: I have no clue, but I can assure you for each one of these sinister dealings, there are millions of well-intending, spiritual-living, God-adoring people who negate this news on a daily basis. The only problem is these folk don’t have the headlines so people go on blaming God despite the righteous works of many.

There are wolves in wool everywhere and it is up to us – those who love God unashamedly and unabashed – to stand up, speak out and shut down the negativity with God’s work. Pastors, evangelists, teachers and lay people – we need to unite and crush the works of the enemy. Where is it happening? Everywhere. So how can you help? Fervent prayer.

You know things are getting bad when kids are dying on the inside and the only concern is, “How is this going to affect our reputation?”

Somehow, the Lord is in control and despite the ire of the enemy and the obvious victories he is earning, God will have the final say.

Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and the earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and Yours it is to be exalted as Head over all. (1 Chronicles 29-11 AMP).

Until then, let’s do a better job Church and slam the frock out of any demonic force that tries to get in our way. As for the Pope, enjoy the PR. According to Google, you are getting a lot of it.

God Sighting of the Month: Jesus giving a “pizz-a” his mind

As people traipse into Lent, they do so considering a sacrifice. For some, it’s the booze. For others, it’s the smokes. For me, it would have been pizza. I mean, brother is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Hence, it makes sense to me that of all places God Almighty would make a monthly special cameo appearance, it would be in a quaint pizzeria in Scranton, Penn.

Just ask the chosen employee Mary Louise Salerno about it… and surely, she’s United Pentecostal, COGIC or perhaps even Church of God. Yes?

Ms. Salerno was at Brownie’s [Pizzeria] and talking with her granddaughter, 23-year-old Jackie Krouchick, while she made a pizza. Her granddaughter is a single mother who she said is struggling through tough times. Ms. Krouchick told her grandmother she worried she was losing her faith.

As Ms. Salerno poured tomato sauce from a white plastic bucket, she urged her granddaughter to keep believing. That is when she saw it, the image of a man with long hair and a beard in the leftover sauce.

Well, at least Jesus knew to show his mug in the leftover sauce. Surely, our Savior thought to avoid the lunch rush, right? And good for him too because otherwise this sacrosanct meal would have been just another pie. Of course, my initial concern would be for the second coming to not be so messy.

I mean, pepperoni stuck in your teeth as you approach the Pearly Gates is enough to make Peter do a spit-take. Well, maybe that’s just me.

For the viewing pleasure, please enjoy the video… yeah, they took a video of the sauce bucket before Ms. Salerno gave “her permission” more than a day later to clean it out. You know what they say, “Godliness is next to cleanliness.”

Masonry shout out to Another Brick in the Wall, A Little Leaven for the divine inspiration.

Resurrection. Shmesurrection. Bring on the Bunnies!

It’s been a slow news month in the world of ecumenicism. I mean, if it weren’t for Louis Farrakhan shooting off his lip again, Kenneth Copeland’s jet and Ed Young’s palatial “tax-exempt” estate (wink), I would not have enough spray paint on this wall to fill a huffer’s need to get high.

I mean, slow.

And then I see this Barna survey from WOW News’ Religion News Service (by way of Houston [Chronicle] Belief) that made yours truly want to go to the local CVS and shave the fur off every Peeps in that place with a dull but seasonally festive razor blade.

Though most Americans describe Easter as a religious holiday, less than half of U.S. adults surveyed link it specifically to the resurrection of Jesus, a Barna Group study shows.

Here's your compromise! Oy Vey!

Anyone heard of Passion plays? How about the “Passion of the Christ“? Perhaps those dudes rocking the Birkenstocks and bedsheets who literally and passionately walk many miles in Jesus’ shoes with timber crosses draped across their shoulders… oh you know, around Easter?!

Apparently, no one in this friggin’ survey.

Is this HOLY-day really all about chocolate, bunnies and those stupid eggs? Why would a bunny lay eggs anyway? Because those little buggers are too fuzzy when they come out and it tickles the mama rabbit?

Looking closer at this depressing survey, it seems parents either are straying from religion or young people are watching way too much TV:

• 42 percent tied Easter to the Resurrection
• At 73 percent, baby boomers (ages 45 to 63) were the most likely to describe Easter as a religious holiday
• This, compared to two-thirds of those ages 26 to 44 and Americans 64 and older
• The youngest group of adults (ages 18 to 25) were least likely, at 58 percent, to use that kind of description

There you have it – kids forget eating your carrots. Why? It isn’t sacrosanct. They are carrots, not communion wafers. So, enlighten us future leaders of tomorrow, how would you describe this amazing day the Lord hath literally made:

• A Christian holiday
• A celebration of God or Jesus
• A celebration of Passover
• A “holy day”
• Or a special day to go to church

Classy. At least they didn’t say the day church kids have easter egg hunts… oh, what? They do that?! MEMO to all church folk, even the ones who are appalled by this survey: You do understand the etymology of the word “Easter”, right? Yeah, it’s cultic.

The Teutonic goddess of fertility had a catchy name, “Eoster,” which was derived for the ancient word of “Spring.” Cute, right? So, what about the stupid rabbits? Glad you asked…

Although Easter… er, Resurrection Sunday celebrates Jesus Christ from the dead, the rabbit was chosen because it is a symbol of fertility, which is often times associated with the beginning of spring. (Hmmm… where have we heard that before?)

Proving you can go to the well one too many times, the German Catholics wanted to create a mythical figure to reward good kids and humiliate the brats during… Lent. (Yeah, I know, you thought Christmas. God bless the Germans for creativity, but meh?)

Back in the 1700s, Germans were not permitted to eat eggs during Lent, so they had to do something with the overabundance of chickens and their eggs during the Easter season.  In order to use all these eggs, the Germans created the tradition of painting and eating eggs given by the Easter Bunny (Source: My seminary, but here too)

Oh, HiScrivener, it’s okay because I paint only red eggs for the blood of Christ.

You don’t have to justify it – I have babies. I get it, but while you are feeding your kiddos a huge block of sugar and advising some humanistic 8-foot rabbit left it for them, consider what really happened on this day… and then 50 days later. (Hallelujah!)

While this day is about “Christian celebrations” and a “holy day,” the story to tell the kids is not about Peter Cottontail but about Jesus Christ. He may not have left us chocolates, but what he did leave is truly a gift that keeps on giving.

Cross Eyed: Can you define Christianity in 2 minutes or less?

This video can… and does a good job too.

In marketing, we call it an “elevator pitch”. Essentially, cut the crap and get to it. Although the message of Christ is far from flinging feces in a monkey’s cage, the symbols of man and woman do remind me of those ubiquitous characters seen on bathroom doors.

And I suppose that elementary approach makes this video all the more enjoyable. Youth pastors (or even all pastors), if you don’t have this one, I would recommend you pick this up. Good job and some masonry shout outs to “WhatIsMedia“.

Peace and blessings.