There’s no place like megachurch. What?

This story from the Washington Post is an oxymoronic orthopraxy. How’s that for alliteration? Get this:

Congregants find megachurches offer more personal worship and sense of community than smaller churches, according to a study released yesterday that challenges the conventional wisdom that some large churches are too big to offer a spiritual experience.

Uh yeah, about that. That is saying two different things.

1. Personal worship, not so much. That’s like saying in China, “I feel so alone.” ‘Nuff said.
2. Sense of community, of course. You see, in places like Fellowship Church, Willow Creek, Lakewood and Saddleback, it’s more than a “sense” of community. It’s an actual community. All we are missing is a fire department and those churches could fight for annexation.

That aside, the Institute for Studies of Religion did find some interesting church fun facts on their study of megachurches:

• Their members were twice as likely to have friends in the congregation than members of small churches.
• Megachurches tend to be more evangelical than small churches
• 92 percent of megachurch members believe that hell “absolutely exists,” compared with just over three-quarters of small-church members
• 80 percent of megachurch worshippers believe that the Rapture will “absolutely” take place, compared with less than half of those who attend small churches

So, where does that leave the body of Christ? Purists are crying out for a real church expereince and believe that can’t be found in a place where the walls can’t be seen and the people in the chairs are faceless, nameless and often conviction-less.

Then comes this introspective study to debunk all of that ballyhoo. HiScrivener has a theory: Make your church experience – YOURS. Go there, worship God, believe in Jesus and make a relationship out of it. If you fancy being a fly on the wall in a big house, or a fly in the ointment at a small one, who cares? What matters is that you follow God and love the Lord… regardless of where you show up on Sundays.

Stephen Tong: It’s gonna take more than bean pies

DATELINE: The hugely Muslim populated country of Indonesia

HEADLINE: Stephen Tong is the world’s bravest pastor

Why? This dude is opening a megachurch in a country made up of violent Muslims and knows he’ll make a difference. In fact, the country breakdown is as follows:

Muslim majority (86%), Protestants (6%), Catholics (6%), Hindus (1.8%) and other faiths

This is the world’s biggest Muslim nation known for forcing out seminaries and churches at will. You think that’s going to stop Stephen Tong, Superpastor? Not in the least. Which incidentally, would this be the first story of the separation of Church and Mosque?! Ah, well… back to the story.

“This proves that there are no restrictions from the Indonesian government to build religious centres,” said Tong, a charismatic preacher who founded the Indonesian Reformed Evangelical Church in 1989. “It gives the world a new impression of Indonesia: it is not a messy country or full of troubles.”

Not that my medulla was full of opinions on Jakarta, but because of this story, I do have a firm opinion of him.

This is one bold Christian, and in a country where Muslims have been known to thrash and even burn churches, he must be a man of prayer as well.

Wall Watchers, persecution of Christians and religion is very real over the pond. This church has an opportunity to be a bright light in a dark and dank land. God, protect this man and that church. Keep it strong and fortified and allow its doors to stay open to the millions of Muslims and the tens of Christians in that country.

Recent faith survey shows we really are the world

Universalism is one of the most dangerous schools of thought to hit Christendom since Jim Jones found a new flavor of Kool-Aid and went on a field trip to South America.

Today, pablum and psychobabble are roommates – each stroking the other for approval and support. Preachers and pastors alike extol this theory as if it really was Gospel.

Anyone from Carlton Pearson to [insert your local “seeker-sensitive” dude here], get to tell the world, “Don’t worry. Be happy” about each of us going to heaven and ignoring the flames licking at their heels.

Every two years, Baylor University comes out with a phenomenal survey showing America how it feels about its faith. This year, we read everyone is going to heaven, and bringing all their non-Jesus-believing friends with them! Good times, as we can see in some of these numbers:

• More than 50 percent of respondents said they believed half or more of “average Americans” would get into heaven, compared with 72 percent of respondents who believed at least half of Christians would get in.
• Few Americans, it seems, think heaven is a very exclusive destination. Less than 30 percent believe the nonreligious will be prevented from entering.
• Americans also are enamored of angels. Some 55 percent of those surveyed claim they were “protected from harm by a guardian angel.”
• 20 percent have actually heard “the voice of God”.
  
• 23 percent have witnessed a physical, miraculous healing.
  
• 44 percent have felt “called of God” to perform a task.
  

These numbers can tell us so much – if only we were listening. Church, we have a lot of work to do because regretfully, many of the noted pastors don’t seem to be doing the trick. If only 44 percent have felt called of God to do anything, we need to get the other large part of the pie to realize God talks much more than that.

And perhaps the most telling and tantalizing statistics of the MANY in this riveting finding is: Only 63 percent of Americans believe in heaven, while 73 percent of those same Americans believe in hell?!

Why? Oh, that’s easy. More Americans feel like they are living in one place over the other. Maybe those feelings will change in November. I’m just sayin’.

Forcing a pastor to evict the homeless

Kind of a harrowing headline, isn’t it? Well, it’s not fictional, I can assure you of that. Unfortunately.

Check it out here from Brookville, Penn.

For Brookville, a town of 4,000 people, the book is the law. Solicitor Stephen French has taken the church to court for housing the homeless in a commercial district, which he says violates the borough’s zoning regulations.

Now that is keeping it classy. Giving the homeless some shelter, shame on that church, right French?! Shame! Odds are in a commercial district there aren’t a whole lot of people complaining about the real estate value going down because of a couple of smelly fellas trying to stay warm on a cot.

So, in a quest to save face but still kick some bums out… well, back on the street, we have this quote:

“I personally think the work he does is wonderful,” French said of [Pastor of the church, Rev. Jack] Wisor. “But we’re not going to allow someone to violate the zoning laws because they do it in the name of Jesus Christ.”

You almost hope the spiking numbers of unemployment strike this cat flat in his behind so he can be among the living. You turd.

Imagine no religion

John Lennon wrote a thought-provoking song for a generation – that generation of free love, half-baked living and open protests.

Well, thanks to the self-entitlement and delusional mission of the Freedom from Religion Foundation (FFRF), “Imagine” is now causing migraines today, as noted in the Pennsylvania Patriot-News.

The campaign to question religions value is focused mostly on state capitals so legislators will be aware they have a free-thought constituency, said Annie Laurie Gaylor, a co-president of the atheist and agnostic group.

Hey Annie, while you are waiting for the “sun to come out tomorrow“, how do you think it got there in the first place? What, outer space had some gas build-up, farted and Ta-Dah… we have heat. Um, not so much.

While FFRF is out promoting a free-thought constituency, ask yourself this, “Who cares?”

Why waste all your money on these snazzy billboards to further drive a chasm between church and state, when you can just do what we can all do – write your Congressman. If you don’t want your representatives influenced by God, then don’t vote for that person. However, if you don’t have a choice in the matter, then shut up and deal with it like oh… all of the country.

Just because an elected official professes a faith in God doesn’t mean said politico sits around his or her office staring at the ceiling until God shows up and gives direction. You see, we Christ-followers understand Jesus empowers us daily to do what we do, say what we say and think what we think.

If you feel bolstered by monkeys and whatever the heck “free thought” is, good luck with that. As for me and my house, I will serve the Lord and continue to look for officials who don’t mind a little help and inspiration on the job.

It’s “a hard knock life” indeed. Imagine that.