Posts Tagged ‘heaven’

Jesus would have blown out Rev. Terry Jones' flame, not reward him with a car.Back in July, we sprawled all over this Wall about some sanctimonious loon who decided it would be a grand idea to burn a wheelbarrow full of Qu’rans in an effort to talk smack about Muslims on September 11.

Never mind that only an underground stink tank full of extremists committed those heinous acts on that fateful day. Mr. “Too Stupid to Read the Paper” decided burning their holy writ was precisely how to keep demented Muslim Jihadists down to a calm sense of being.

Yeah well, he was sorely mistaken as the entire country not only told him just how stupid he was, but that there could be a slight attempt to bomb his Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Fla. like Hiroshima. In short, he realized not having a high school education was too much to overcome, so he better keep the gig he has.

Qu’ran saved. Muslims relieved. Christians have chalked up another reason why the world hates us. Until this thanks to CNN Belief Blog.

It seems “Reverend” Terry Jones since deciding to no burn a Qu’ran, has deserved some love. Aaaaaaaaaaaand tell what he’s won:

The Rev. Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who caused a firestorm last month when he came close to staging a public Quran burning, is getting a new car courtesy of a New Jersey dealership. In the run-up to the planned book-burning, Brad Benson Hyundai in New Brunswick offered Jones a vehicle if the pastor backed down on his threat.

A car. A friggin’ car?! Seriously?

I adore Jesus and stand up for disenfranchised folk of other religions in the name of witnessing and good form, and run out of gas on the freeway. This jackleg fool gives the entire Body of Christ a bad name and is bribed with a new car to stop… if even for a while.

Let’s keep it classy New Jersey.

“We heard on the news that he was going to burn the Quran,” Benson Hyundai general manager David Canton told CNN on Saturday. “He stood up to his end of the bargain and we’re standing up to ours,” Canton said.

MEMO to Mr. Canton: Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Now he has something shiny to tow that chuck of crap around

You reward this waste of space for sardonic behavior, and why? Because you are wholly empathetic to the plight of innocent Muslims in America? Of course not. Dude knew this idiotic offer would make national news, so he’s getting a little love.

Thing aren’t that great in the automotive industry lately. So, that’s nice. Live to threaten another day.

Hey, car salesman? You know what people think of Christians by-and-large thanks to this turd? Well, you are not doing any favors for your industry with this novel marketing effort either.

Shoot, I didn’t burn a Qu’ran? Wanna’ hook a brother up with a new Sonata? I’ll be happy to be your personal journalist for a year for that magnanimous of an offer.

And just so we are fair, Jones said that he will donate the car to a Muslim charity. Because it’s not like extremists in the Muslim community have ever used cars for evil intentions.

Funny how the world keeps going ’round, huh?

Advertisements

Unfortunately, June was a slow month for the spirit of God in the cameo department.

As we have come to notice on the Wall, at least once a month, God, Jesus or even Mary decides to show up in front of some folk in terms of cheetos, bathroom tile or a tub of pizza sauce. Why? Just because they can and it’s good for kicks on home movies.

Jesus as found on Google Earth

On Google Earth As It Is In Heaven

That said, he had to show his face in a big way. I mean, huge. And he didn’t disappoint as we see in the Telegraph (UK) and a fable discussing Google Earth:

The resemblance was found by a 26-year-old man as he used the mapping website to look for holiday destinations. Zach Evans, from Southampton, spotted the outline in satellite pictures of a field on farmland near Puspokladany in Hungary.

“I’m not a religious person looking for images of Mary or Jesus in everything, but this is obvious.”

The aforementioned sightings of deity is easy to point a Pentecostal finger and crack jokes, but this?

Well, let’s just say there are aliens who wish they could Da Vinci crop circles this good.

Cloud shadows? Topography issues? What do you see?

Whatever it is you are looking at, admit it… you’re going to check out Google Earth right after this. Perhaps these oddball sightings create a skosh of faith. Regardless, you’re still looking.

In life, there are certain signs that are visible; yet silent that scream “Danger Will Robinson” as your brain begins to go into screen saver mode much more frequently. Things such as:

  1. Folk calling you at 7 p.m. and their first sentence is, “I didn’t wake you, right?”
  2. The term “Good Grass” now only applies when discussing the neighbor’s lawn.
  3. You pee every morning like clockwork at 6:30 a.m. – only you don’t wake up until 8 a.m.
The connection from church to gay isn't that far for some priests

I post. You decide. And possibly giggle.

Another is when you are successful, powerful, influential and suddenly… you hire a lawyer?! Really? Such is life for one Joseph “Pope B16” Ratzinger, according to this article from Yahoo! and AP.

Everything is groovy at St. Peter’s Basilica. You know, the guys in funny suits harking to every whim, a nation at your disposal and a world as your footstool for those kicking red shoes (this ain’t Kansas anymore, B. Word. Up.)

Until one day, Il Papa gets a call that his righteous judgment is in question about a serial child molester who was never defrocked, much less punished by law. Oh, and you were the one at the helm when it happened over a period of one… or two… eh, decades.

And so, in a fit of divine inspiration and sublime panic, the Vatican realizes God isn’t enough protection for this ballyhoo:

But as the Vatican reels from a swirling clerical sex abuse crisis, the Holy See has turned to an unusual advocate: a tennis-loving, Saab-driving solo practitioner from Berkeley, Calif., whose obscure interest in sovereign immunity law and fluency in Italian landed him the job of the pope’s U.S. lawyer.

There’s a mantra in public relations that says, “Perception is reality.” So, which one is this?

Does the Bishop of Rome and leader of the Roman Catholic Church just need some legal advice or is there something to hide? Is he sweeping something under that big funny hat of his or just in need of a friend who happens to understand this enigmatic “sovereign immunity law”?

[His] latest project: defend Pope Benedict XVI against allegations that he personally, and the Vatican generally, turned a blind eye to decades of rapes and molestation of children by priests. The Vatican has vehemently denied such reports, saying the pope has done more than anyone to root out abusers.

“What is most important for people to know is that he does understand, that his heart is moved,” Lena said. “He has seen the files, he gets it, and indeed he got it long before most others did.”

Yet, there’s the 800-pound gorilla in the room wearing a nice, flowing robe, blinging with some gold-encrusted crucifix and that nice, silk beanie missing the twirling propeller. We know when confronted with a sinister man who sexually abused hundreds of deaf boys – and admitted it – the once Cardinal Ratzinger was more concerned about the media hit than the welfare of the acolytes.

To borrow a slogan, "They need hope and change."

And now? It seems the Holy See is still concerned about the perception instead of the reality.

I appreciate his recent tearful homily in Malta where the Pope said he would “seek justice for pedophile priests and implement effective measures to protect young people from abuse.” However, if you knew the Catholic Church had so many raging freaks on the down low, why not come out swinging the moment the black smoke billowed in the Vatican sky?

Is this apoplectic concern because you are tired of the madness, or just sick of being called out for it?

Pope Benedict even visited some of these victims. According to the USA Today story:

“He prayed with them and assured them that the Church is doing, and will continue to do, all in its power to investigate allegations, to bring to justice those responsible for abuse and to implement effective measures designed to safeguard young people in the future,” the Vatican statement said.

I applaud that. I get that. But there’s still that lawyer thing. Out of nowhere is a simple man who probably smells of Chai tea, fresh ink and day-old Brut cologne. Yet, he is the appointed counsel for the Holy See… who is supposed to getting his counsel from our holy Father.

Lawyers provide protection, comfort and peace in the midst of a tumultuous storm, but is that necessary unless you are out in a boat amidst a hurricane? The Vatican certainly is getting pelted with a flurry of law suits, and rightly so. However, there is a demand for stronger action against these freaks who abuse innocent boys.

Please? Defrocking a priest is a slap on the wrist compared to the righteous judgment they deserve; yet that doesn’t even happen to some of these dudes with soiled collars.

There are good priests, phenomenal in their church and communities who watch this mess and know their names are stained because of the work of these dolts. Those bad seeds should be plucked out and exposed for the fools they are, but instead, their fearless leader gets legal representation.

It just smacks more of hiding than fighting… and in a time of despair, there needs to be some righteous indignation and holy fisticuffs coming from the Papal offices. Instead, we get a sinewy finger pointing in our direction as if it’s our fault.

Consider this story from USA Today and a report from the Pope demanding “We must repent.”

“I must say, we Christians, even in recent times, have often avoided the word ‘repent,’ which seemed too tough,” ANSA [the Pontifical News Agency] quoted Benedict as saying. “But now under attack from the world, which has been telling us about our sins … we realize that it’s necessary to repent, in other words, recognize what is wrong in our lives.”

Sorry my brother but we need to repent daily for our sins… but this ain’t one of them. Enough posturing, blaming and running. People demand backbones from their leaders – not wishbones.

The Papal office is supposed to be the divine revelation of God. What the Catholic Church needs, nee should demand is for that office to become the divine representation of God as well.

And that is something not found in a legal brief or a courtroom. It comes with prayer, repentance and an earnest desire to hearken to the Spirit of God. If there is anyone on this planet who is capable of focusing on God’s will, it’s this guy. Church – and I mean all of us – we need to pray for the Pope as never before.

Lord Jesus, bring peace to this petulance. Bring hope for the hurting. Bring a solution for the suffering.

Whether you attend a Catholic Church, this guy needs our support because there are more than a billion ardent people looking to Rome for an answer and some action. They don’t need to see legal writ or spin control. They need action and an unction from Pope Benedict to put an end to this sardonic behavior, face the evil that it is and sick the legion of heaven on it.

Heck, I saw “The Da Vinci Code” and “Angels and Demons.” I know that can happen. Perception is reality. Remember?

Cult [kuhlt] – noun – an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, esp. as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult; a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

Often, this is the magic word reserved some of the most dastardly organizations and diabolical people to come in contact with the Body of Christ. Often, this is the word reserved for L. Ron Hubbard’s concoction, Scientology.

And for its most wide-mouthed, dimwitted focal point, Tom Cruise? He gets the booby prize for stirring the pitchers of Kool Aid. No one hearts Thetans like this dude, and according to this story by the N.Y. Daily News, he is willing to abuse the living @#$%… er, fight you for it.

A former high-ranking Scientologist official says he “documented” that church leader David Miscavige once asserted that Cruise would lend his “Top Gun” muscle to do just that. Marty Rathbun, once one of Miscavige’s most trusted lieutenants, tells us he has a witness who can corroborate his account of a bloody beating at the church’s 500-acre compound in Hemet, Calif. Furthermore, he’s brought it to the attention of Cruise’s attorney, Bert Fields.

In a previous – what appears to be prophetic – tag on the Wall, we noted Cruise was “America’s favorite couch-jumpin’, no-Prozac-takin’, psychiatrist-hatin’, vertically-challenged havin’ basket case, Tom Cruise, is now the “Godfather” of Scientology.”

Guess what? If you got something to say about this whacked-out humanistic drivel, all five-foot-nothing of Maverick will spike a volleyball down your gullet (that is, if poor guy can find a net low enough).

Apparently, for those dolts who have forgotten their way across the “Bridge to Total Freedom” (and their credit card), the kooks in the Hollywood Hills have something called “The Hole,” a prison of sorts in the national headquarters. And it’s there where Cruise learned to act the part of his movie, “Valkyrie.”

Miscavige said that Tom … had vowed to come to the Hole and personally ‘beat the living [bleep]’ out of Yager, Leserve and Mithoff [three insubordinate officials who are a skosh too lenient about folk thinking L. Ron Hubbard was a tool] if the managers failed to do so themselves.

Well, that’s one way to witness. Demented and sad, but it’ll do.

It amazes me the mind-melding these D-bags in Hollywood undergo to be so blindly devoted to a man who simply wanted to make a quick buck [note picture]. Hubbard writes a book to bash modern psychology and then, he gets an epiphany.

“If I make this a non-profit organization, I may get a tax break on these simpletons who buy my book. Brilliant!” And so, Scientology was born and Hubbard gets rich.

The guy has been dead a few years, but that doesn’t stop his drivel playing the tunes of the Pied Piper. And evidently, Tom Cruise blows it the hardest. And it’s not like Scientology is some “offer folk can’t refuse.” This is nothing more than a Ponzi scheme on crack.

The only truth you get out of Scientology is the truth you put into it. If you want to see what you end up worshiping, that would be that collagen-filled, botox-riddled muttonhead staring back at you in the mirror. And just because your mirror is gold-encrusted and bedazzled and I got mine from Wal-Mart doesn’t mean the image is any worse than you.

We are all flawed humans in need of a Savior. We are all twisted people in need of divine truth. We are all damned for hell in need of Jesus.

So, whether it takes an isolated biblical verse or someone draping his MMA gloves, one day we will all accept one religion or another. Which one is totally up to you, but anything called “The Hole” is definitely a place I know I won’t find my religion.

However, when I heard about Tom and his panache for a Napoleon syndrome, I thought of another verse:

There are people in this world who go about demanding to be killed. You must have noticed them. They quarrel in gambling games. They jump out of their automobiles in a rage. They humiliate and bully people whose capabilities they do not know. These are people who wander through the world shouting, kill me. And there’s always someone ready to oblige to them. (Vito Corleone, “The Godfather”)

This week in video evangelism, we have a harrowing video that may cause you some pause before you hit the streets for your daily errands.

I suppose I’m struck by the deluge of post-apocalyptic films I’ve seen in theaters recently. Perhaps, I’m trolling my own decaying humanity thinking of what Jesus has saved me from and what disasters he prevents into going daily.

Whatever it is, I am amazed by his grace and mercy. Again, daily.

I once heard a preacher say, “If Jesus were never real, my life is still better believing he was all this time.” Think about that the next time you are shouting with fist clinching to the skies, “Where are you, God?”

He’s there – always watching, always waiting, always willing.

We’re not keeping this quiet, not on your life. Just like the psalmist who wrote, “I believed it, so I said it,” we say what we believe. And what we believe is that the One who raised up the Master Jesus will just as certainly raise us up with you, alive. Every detail works to your advantage and to God’s glory: more and more grace, more and more people, more and more praise! (2 Corinthians 4:13-15 MSG)

Enjoy the viewing pleasure, Wall Watchers, and your weekend. Peace.