Posts Tagged ‘YFZ Ranch’

A not so long time ago in a desolate land far away depending on where you live, the national news was all about a motley crew of renegade fundamental MormonsF-undamental-LDS for those scoring at home – who thought the way to a better religion was living on a remote Texas compound, make all their own clothes and impregnate pre-pubescent children.


polygamy-porterSuffice to say, the good God-fearing folk in west Texas didn’t take kindly to that kind of behavior, religious or otherwise. They raid the compound thanks to a bogus phone call and place more than 400 children in state custody.

In the process, the Lone Star State ran up a ghastly total of $9 million just in the first few weeks. And, that is a lot of Mormon beer-chasing, bang-bang gun play (as possibly noted here).

Whew! There’s some inflation. And now, thanks to the Houston Chronicle, the child welfare authorities want their cut.

The raid of a polygamist sect’s Texas ranch cost child welfare authorities $12.4 million in overtime, transportation and shelter costs, according to newly released figures… The $12.4 million does not include the costs associated with the remaining cases, said Patrick Crimmins, a spokesman for Child Protective Services. It doesn’t include court costs either.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, I move the state of Texas would like a refund. After all, these guys were just being Mighty Mouse and coming to save the daaaaaaaay. They weren’t planning on all this ballyhoo and swapping of credit cards and blank checks.

Maybe they can make back their cash by finally empting out the ranch of all those pesky kids and hot mamas and play “Home on the Range”. You know, get some cows, horses, chickens… oh, and Alpacas. I hear those are in fashion now. Can’t be any more a-go-go than those flashy threads those mamas are sporting.

Kisses!Fresh on the heels of the landmark decision to uh, allow mothers to raise their children [he says with tongue firmly planted in cheek], the freaks at YFZ Ranch, er… elders of the FLDS put out a press statement with a change of heart has been made on this whole polygamy thingy.

The church is clarifying its policy toward marriage. Therefore, in the future, the church commits that it will not preside over the marriage of any woman under the age of legal consent in the jurisdiction in which the marriage takes place.

So, in other words, we will marry them off to 45-year old dirty old men as young as possible without getting busted and going through this whole twisted prank call issue.

The church believes in purity, cleanliness, and innocence.

Well, that’s good. And did I mention the FLDS church also believes in child labor laws, knitting, restraint from hairbrushing and ‘breaking items in’ before they reach the age of depreciation.

In a word, finally!

Say what you will about the ideology, theology and morality of those at YFZ Ranch, but what’s important is the rights of these children. Look at the picture… and, uh, ignore the lack of retro style and make up.

But Peaches & Herb were on to something when they penned these classic words, “Reunited and it feels so good.”

As Dr. Phil says consistently, “The children don’t have a voice.” In this case, they certainly did not. But thanks to a great big pair of scissors to cut through the red tape, their words have sound and – like it or not – they are home.

“It’s just [sic] great day,” said Nancy Dockstader, whose chin quivered and eyes filled with tears as she embraced her daughter, Amy, 9. “We’re so grateful.”

A stain on the annals of faith in this nation (because by and large, unsaved people don’t understand the difference), but God will use this to wake people up as well. Who knows, maybe this proud mama will realize home isn’t necessarily where you hang your hat, but rather where you hat is kept safe.

Now if only a prank phone call would come in to the Texas Rangers about the perverted men only. If only…

Well, that quip (as seen in this story in USA Today) from Marleigh Meisner of Texas Child Protective Services (CPS) should be refreshing for the parents at YFZ Ranch.

You see, their kids were stolen from their arms by Texas Rangers because of a prank phone call on April 3. And although the 1,700-acre ranch in Eldorado, Texas is chock full o’nuts and is dire need of a scourging, children need their parents. Do you think CPS has bothered to explain to those kids why Mommy isn’t around, but you can still talk to her on the phone?

Probably not. But hey kids, you have this nice roll of red tape to play with while you wait. Enjoy.

Why me?Sounds like an abduction of sorts, doesn’t it? Well, it is.

Almost 500 kids – innocent, blameless children – are now held bound and gagged by a roll of good old fashioned red tape. Newest to the saga in Texas court is a halt from ONE judge to reunite these kids with their mothers. If these mothers have any hope to get their kids back, they have to march to the courthouse (with lawyers in-tow no doubt) and sign en-masse a new agreement.

So, let me get this straight: the Texas Supreme Court laid the smackdown on the federal raid of the YFZ Ranch and ruled the abduction… er, kidnapping… I mean, saving of those kids was performed without proper justification. However, until all the legal teams and its representation (the mothers) sing Kumbaya, there are no family reunion plans.

Pathetic. There is something to be said for what these mothers and children have dealt with SINCE the state got involved. Was there abuse inside the friendly combine of Warren Jeffs’ ranch? Without question. Are they brainwashed? Probably. Are some of the babies having babies? Sure. Is any of this mess their fault? Not a bit.

And all the while, the state government is stockpiling evidence against Jeffs by collecting his DNA (buried from the lead in the attached story). However, not one story has been posted, reported or placed on the Wall about the freakish disciples… er, men… nah, males inside the ranch that found something sexy about a 14-year old girl. Where are those legal matters? Hmmmm…

You know, when this is all settled, the mothers of those children may have grounds for an entirely new and entertaining legal battle. As the natives in N’awlins say, “Les bons temps rouler.” Yeah, that spells “Ka-ching” in any language.