Posts Tagged ‘Willie Aames’

A funny thing happened to Pastor Jose Elias Moran when assisting a stopped motorist one day – he was given a taser to his tail so fast, it was like he was a crack addict on “Cops”.

I mean, Zapped! Really making Scott Baio and Willie Aames proud [a little obtuse 80s humor for you].

And the home of the brave... by God!

And the home of the brave... by God!

Anywhoo, according to the report in FOX News, there are two faces to this story:

Webster Texas po po say Pastor Moran “interfered with the traffic stop.”

Church members who watched the whole thing, and who incidentally were dispersed by pepper spray, agree with the pastor’s wife, “A pastor has to tend to his flock. That is all he was doing.”

So, which was it? What happened? And what up with peppering the sheep? Getting them ready for lamb chops?

Police stops a driver – a church member – in front of an early morning prayer service at the Iglesia Profetica Peniel church. Suddenly, Moran decides to become the on-site counselor and cops get nervous ending up tasing Pastor Sticking-My-Nose-In-None-Of-His-Business.

I understand his calling, but understand the police officer’s calling: they have someone pulled over and trust me, it’s assumed every car pulled over has someone tweaking ready to pull for his 9MM.

With that understood, here comes Super Pastor who apparently wasn’t listening to, “Sir, this is not your concern.”

However, I’m sure he didn’t go thug life and try to really ruin this cop’s day:

An incident report on the Webster police department’s Web site said Officer Raymond Berryman tried to calm Moran and arrest him. But police say he pushed the officer, went inside the church and returned with 40 other congregants.

As for the driver, he was released with two citations. However, starting the Watts riots over homeboy getting a speeding ticket is taking its toll:

Speaking from a hospital bed Wednesday night, Moran told The Associated Press he planned to hire an attorney to file charges against the officer. He was being held at the hospital overnight for additional tests.

Unless this officer thinks he is Wyatt Earp, I doubt he just yanking his taser and zapping the poor pastor unless there was a reason, but what could it be? Cop went to the church, wasn’t that crazy about the worship, so he punks the pastor?

Whatever it was, I have a feeling when Pastor Moran is released from custody, and from his warm hospital bed, I think the local holiday toy drive with the police department may be called off. Just sayin’.

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Not too long, we posted a story on the Wall about the fallen, biblical superhero Bibleman and his alter famous ego, Willie Aames.

It seems “Zapped”, “Charles in Charge”, “Eight is Enough” and even those pesky reality shows on VH1 aren’t enough to keep Aames out of the poor house. So sad. So true.

And now, Willie Aames is doing something about it… eh, kinda. He is beginning a national campaign against financial illiteracy. Um, huh?! I love this opening graph by WOW News’ Idol Chatter:

If a friend goes through relationships like toilet paper, would you go to her for relationship advice? If your child-less sibling offers you parenting tips, would you take him seriously? If someone loses their shirt in the stock market, would you let him plan your portfolio?

Willie being WillieSo, next to the “didn’t-really-think-this-through” department is Willie Aames participating in a celebrity boxing match, and if his Bibleman-choreographed moves do his opponent in, he will gladly donate some of the proceeds [as in, a buck fiddy ’cause brother probably needs a new pair of shoes… literally] to his “fight against financial illiteracy.”

I thought that was a good thing, at least last time I visited an acquaintance of mine who currently resides in the nestling bosom of Section 8 housing.

But, if you consider the latest, greatest spokesman to the cause, you would think financial illiteracy was something that just cramps your style.

How about feeding the homeless? Clothes for folk in shelters? You know, something you are terribly close to dealing with instead of something you have been-there-done-that-and-lost-the-tee-shirt-in-a-garage-sale.

Consider Jesus? He knew the people at the world’s largest fish fry weren’t interested in a Jimmy Houston DVD set. They wanted to eat a two-piece with some sweet tartar sauce!

Yet, there goes little Tommy Bradford ready to change the world. However, without a trunk full of Dave Ramsey books, Robert Kiyosaki inspirational tapes and Suze Orman loading up his TiVo, I don’t really understand why in the sam h-e-double hockey sticks Willie thinks he knows anything about financial illiteracy.

At least, other than it exists and his head is full of it. Among other things.

Godspeed, Willie. TV may be gone in your life, but not in your house. Check out Christian TV, dude. You may get some tips there, stay out of the news and live among the normal.

Come experience joy, happiness, patience, grace and a whole lot of laughter the next time you decide on your mission field. You have had several of them. Maybe you need to be fed on one instead of standing in line to lump bread on people’s plates.

Just a thought.

Eight is EnoughCharles in Charge… then God showed up in Willie Aames‘ life and booted Scott Baio clean out of the picture and into VH1, or some such. Oh yeah, and somewhere in between fame and infamy, they hooked up for “Zapped!” (Anyone? Bueller?)

So, what was young Tommy Bradford to do? Well, after he kicked his drug habit, bad B movies and got over himself and his curls?

BIBLEMAN!

Looks like Dr. Fear made his way to Olathe, KS

Looks like Dr. Fear made his way to Kansas

Genius, right? Armor, swords, computers and those tights (yikes)!  It was great, traveling from church to church until the powers that be at whatever looney, cracked organization ran things and Bibleman vanished like a fart in the wind. Pity.

So, what’s Willie Aames up to now? Well, according to the Kansas City Star and E! Online, not so much but filing bankruptcy and having a community garage sale. WHAT?!

There was a plush leather couch and chair and a giant television. Also, a lion head mounted on an oak pedestal, along with stuffed wild boars and other wildlife he hunted. Some other items included crystal and posters of him when he was young. He had the blond curls that helped launch his acting career at age nine. Now he is 48 and the curls are gray.

Now while I’m sure all the broke pimps in town gathered ’round to get first dibs on that hot stuff, but what’s more important to note is why?

Why wasn’t eight enough? No one there to invest his money?

Why isn’t Charles in charge of the finances he studied so much in the Bible?

Why wasn’t Willie Aames – a boy would be Bibleman – better prepared for life, liberty and the pursuit of his happiness? I mean, dude went on Celebrity Fit Club 2 chasing the legacy of Scott Baio.

Now, that it seems this alter-ego super-hero has slowed down, what brought him here? Today, this driveway couch salesman is a broken man whose wife left him after 22 years, broke, tried to kill himself last Thanksgiving, calling his boys for a ride since his is in the pound and above all, flat broke.

However, it is Willie Aames. You would expect cameras scattered among his fur rugs and stuffed duck-billed platypus, right? Apparently, he did as well.

The big cameras that focused in and fur-covered mikes that dangled from poles were not just from television networks. People are making a television documentary of his life, hard times and how he gets through them, said Sarano Kelley, a California life coach for athletes and celebrities.

From ABC to TBN to VH1, Willie Aames is on his own search for significance. Again, why? Is it necessary? He went to hell and back, and hell lost. There was ample reason to praise God, but evidently Hollywood really is the Death Star, and its tractor beam could not let go the kid who was Willie.

He lost his identity. He lost his money. And sadly, it seems he lost his reality in Christ. Wall watchers, this is a man, a brother in Christ who is in peril.

Pray he remembers all of those scriptures he quoted. Pray he picks up that Sword of the Spirit he used in battle. Pray he dawns the armor of God and fights the real enemy who is fighting him. He really does kill, steal and destroy. And by the looks of this story (and apparently what the agape door of his garage looked like), he has almost killed, stolen and destroyed everything.

I would say pray Willie Aames forgets where he came from and focuses on where he is at… but, here he is – selling his drawers, autographing Teen Beat posters and begging for attention. Funny how things come full circle, eh?

Big box and specialty toy stores alike are stocked with shelves of the latest “must-have” toys, and every year they change. From the latest Star Wars franchise to anything Marvel comics comes out with, action figures are the rave for little guys joviality around the world.

That said, it all started with G.I. Joe and his ubiquitous kung-fu action grip. What little man didn’t have that brawny, chiseled commando warrior who made fathers everywhere think, “Uh, yeah right. I fought in the war and I never knew ANYONE that looked this. Freakin’ toy!”

Well, tired of being on the toy shelf and discounted, the founder of those G.I. Joe toys, Don Levine, is back with a wrath of God… literally. Donnie boy here is going to storm the aforementioned toy emporiums with biblical heroes.

Awesome!

If you walk in bible-centric outlets, you see Bibleman (Greatness. Shout out to Willie Aames.), Veggie Tales (Easily, the biggest on those particular shelves) and well, um… let’s see, what else… uh, OH, OH Bibleopoly!

SIGH… anyway. Suffice to say, this is a refreshing stimulus for the what the Church is capable of creating when inspired. Why not? Some of the biggest and baddest cats are found in the Bible.

  • Samson – A man of Herculean stature who had one helluva’ attitude (literally).
  • King David – Why not? Caesar ruled the world and got a Shakespearean play. Alexander? Movie, by Oliver Stone no less. Genghis Khan? Mythic proportions and became a superlative for brutal studs everywhere. Well, David ruled THE WORLD, and did it for God. Again, why not?
  • Paul – The dude battled the high seas, vicious snakes, lions and really, ugly guys. Sounds like something Russell Crowe has already done once to twice.
  • Jonah – Guy was swallowed by a whale, and lived to talk about it!
  • Oh yeah, and there’s that Jesus guy, who heroic status is, well, legendary.

Yeah, I know what I want for Christmas. I mean, well, my son. It’s what he wants.