Posts Tagged ‘Tom Hanks’

There’s an axiom in Latin that makes the unlearned think of taking a night out to the club:

Audio. Video. Disco.

Compliments to the Australian Herald

Compliments to the Australian Herald

Believe it or not, that’s not about some multimedia experience. It means, “I hear. I see. I learn.”

Well, in today’s fast-paced society hungry for a theological fix, most folk aren’t as concerned about church as they are viewing Jesus on TBN or Daystar, hearing him on a Hillsong CD or their sacred iPod or clicking a God clip on YouTube.

(Because, it seems most folk ain’t going to Tangle… just sayin’.)

Needless to say, there is a lot of hearing and seeing going on, but perhaps the learning could improve just a skosh.

Evidently, that report got back to the Holy See because Pope Benedict XVI it’s presumed the only dumb ones are the young ones… and where are they hanging out these days? Online.

First, it was their own search engine. And now, the Papacy has gone buck wild by creating its own Facebook page, Pope2You.net.

And since there are about one billion Catholics on earth, Il Papa figured it would be a great idea if they could all come to him for a change, including a holy YouTube page, sacred iPhone apps and a WikiCath page.

So, why all the tech geek in the Vatican? Ask the Catholic News Service:

It’s an effort to allow younger generations find a “simple, fresh site to work as a hub from which users can find some new ways the universal church is present in the digital world.”

Seeing how things have been iffy for priests to get online in the past years, it’s commendable that the Pope is cool with this effort.

But hey, as long as there’s a massive firewall, some beefed-up Norton antivirus or, at the very least, has hired Robert Langdon to help out with the new symbols Pope B16 will encounter.

You know, items not in his lexicon like “LOL,” “411,” “WTF” and of course “MSG” (and no, that’s not Chinese take out).

Huzzah. Hope this works because form what I have heard, seen and learned about the propensity for old dogs to attain new tricks is um, “2G2BT.”

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Something weird happened on the way to the Vatican the other day… the Pope has decided to become a PR professional and a film critic.

If anyone remembers, Il Papa despised Ron Howard’s first foray into the Dan Brown fictional chronicles of Catholicism known as “The Da Vinci Code”. I mean, especially since it almost cost the Vatican billions thanks to a ridiculous law suit over branding rights.

But evidently, after a Rome premiere, B16 has mad love for Tom Hanks, his acting ability and considers the movie… wait for it… archangels singing from on high… “harmless.” Huh?!

I know! The Pope was illuminated by the Illuminati. Who’da thunk it?

L’Osservatore Romano ran a review and an editorial in Wednesday’s edition, critiquing the movie based on the Dan Brown best-selling novel of the same name. The newspaper wrote that the movie was “a gigantic and smart commercial operation” filled with “stereotyped characters.” The paper suggested moviegoers could make a game out of finding the many historical inaccuracies in the plot.

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So that’s a complement, right? Underhanded and convoluted. But a complement, nonetheless.

One question though, Holy Father: What happened to the paternal vitriol extolled about the first movie? You did hate it, so what gives?

“The theme is always the same in both novels: a sect versus the church, even though the parts of the good and the bad are distributed differently,” L’Osservatore wrote Wednesday. “This time, with ‘Angels & Demons,’ the church is on the side of the good guys.”

Who knows. Maybe Ron Howard’s PR campaign worked? Talk about a total turnaround. At first, Rome was caught up in a tornadic storm of anger, whizz and vinegar. And now, they are strolling down the Yellow Brick Road of ration and reason?

Man, what a difference a summer blockbuster makes. Angels and demons and Catholics… oh my!

People make too much, way too much out of movies.

It’s Hollywood, which I believe is slang for “complete and utter dystopian fiction.” That said, when these fudged storylines come out, some factions make believe this makebelieve is made real, if only people would believe it. (Anyone follow that?)

“The Exorcist” made me people scared not to go to church. “The Blair Witch Project” took the Internet by storm. And “1984” has some convinced it was not a movie, but a prophecy.

angels-and-demonsAnd then there was the “Da Vinci Code,” a book made into a movie that continued a global kerfuffle that Mary Magdalene somehow got her Messianic groove on. It was sacrilege. It was impious. And, it was hilarious. At least to most comfortable Christians, it should have been.

But to those who believe culture is as sacred as Christ, they lost their minds… and their salvation. Catholics were acting the fool and for good reason. The great thing is most protestants were driving the car most Catholic picketers were traveling in.

From the sanctuary to the monastery, angst was flooding the gates of the Vatican because of a decent movie and a book that was not-so-much.

Fast forward to the prequel sequel, “Angels & Demons.” See, Dan Brown wrote it after “Da Vinci Code” but Ron Howard decided to make it before Tom Hanks saves the world from the Knights Templar and moves on to the surreptitious, infamous and ubiqutious Illuminati.

Thanks to this byline article in HuffPo, which includes an open letter from William Donohue from the Catholic League and a certain director of “Angels & Demons,” Ron Howard stands up for his film… and himself:

Let me be clear: neither I nor Angels & Demons are anti-Catholic. And let me be a little controversial: I believe Catholics, including most in the hierarchy of the Church, will enjoy the movie for what it is: an exciting mystery, set in the awe-inspiring beauty of Rome. After all, in Angels & Demons, Professor Robert Langdon teams up with the Catholic Church to thwart a vicious attack against the Vatican. What, exactly, is anti-Catholic about that?

In other words (if you’ll allow me to paraphrase):

“It’s a movie, people! I’m Ron Howard… and you’re not. So enjoy your 15 minutes, because when this flick opens, I’ll be in Puerto Vallarta collecting a tan… and a check. Peace.”

There have been rumors of the Vatican blocking Howard filming this movie in Rome (no, really). There are already critics claiming this sequel prequel is more convoluted than the first. Regardless, there’s a lot out there that will outweigh the naysayers and cause this movie to rocket to #1 in movie billings.

That is, until Michael Bay sets religion on its ear and brings “Transformers 2” to town. And that make believe is very real.

Tom Hanks in a fit of rage, and waxing sentimental about the friends he made – and tragically lost – while making “Philadelphia”, decided to make a political statement… and a complete mockery of himself.

god-loves-gay-people-tooYou remember what is now commonly known as Proposition 8, which made a law in California that made marriage only recognized between a man and a woman. Hrm. Go figure, given the interlude between Adam and Eve and all.

Americans… well, only the rich and pretentious ones, and, oh, those who live in the Hollywood Hills… blame the Mormons for Prop 8 being voted into law (again).

Granted, California isn’t full of the LDS saints; nevertheless, because of some money, the Mormons got blamed for it. Chiefly among them was the aforementioned Tom Hanks who called the entire Mormon nation, “Un-American.

Never mind the fact being American is the very reason they were able to exercise their rights to fiscally bolster Prop 8, but apparently, Hanks think the denizens of Utah were actually illegally transported from Indonesia, Cuba or escaped from Madagascar in a plane of penguins.

Blame the economy, his conscience or the fact that some folk may not go see his great movies (except for “The Money Pit”, Oy!) after that cockamamie comment, Tom Hanks went biblical and performed a mea culpa, according to FOX News.

…”Everyone has a right to vote their conscience; nothing could be more American,” the statement continues. “To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are ‘un-American’ creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use ‘un- American’ lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”

mormon-family-crossingConsidering this is a guy for “Band of Brothers” and “Saving Private Ryan”, you would think he had a slight grasp on the Bill of Rights. But hey, we all reserve the right for a moment of vociferous angst… and an even larger right of delicious irony and unfortunate hypocrisy.

It turns out Hanks is an executive producer of the spoof drama about the Mormons – and their panache for multiple wives – called “Big Love.” Oh, and he spewed his vitriol at the HBO premiere of said production. That sound you heard was Joseph Smith and Brigham Young rolling over in the grave, doubled over in laughter.

Nice to know even though it’s been a while since the pop culture rich “Bosom Buddies,” Tom can still make folks laugh.

Too bad this wasn't a permanent thing

Too bad this wasn't a permanent thing

Pop music came and went – abysmally. Then, the nation learned just how dumb a blonde could be (thank you, MTV). A few bad movies, followed by a tryst with a Dallas Cowboys quarterback (yes, she is Yoko Romo!) and now she is a country singer?!

In summation, Jessica Simpson is all over the map – and all in an effort to keep stretching that 15 minutes into the time/space continuum.

And now, we have this lovely story from the Christian Post and Extra TV: Jessica Simpson wants to study religion.

It’s appropriate this dunderhead was not influenced by her family (her mega-creepy, dirty-old-man father was a Baptist preacher), but rather by a completely misguided movie, “The Da Vinci Code.”

“I’ve been contemplating taking a college course in religion,” the pop star-turned-country singer told Marie Claire magazine. “I love religion.” Simpson said she was especially drawn by the Discovery Channel feature “Da Vinci’s Lost Code,” which aired ahead of the theatrical release of “The Da Vinci Code” starring Tom Hanks. “I remember whenever the book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times,” she said.

So, she watches a movie that stains religion, unlocks her own cerebral codifier and now decides to pursue a course (surely not a degree) in religion. Nice. Hey, I don’t know about you but I’m just impressed she remembered to count that high. And didn’t even have to take off her shoes to do it.