Posts Tagged ‘Star Wars’

Druids get legal by establishing their own non profitFrom overweight 40-year-old men playing Dungeons & Dragons in Mommy’s garage to now, being an official tax bracket, it seems worshiping the sun, moon, stars and tree sap is finally paying off, according to The Telegraph (UK).

The Druid Network has been given charitable status by the Charity Commission for England and Wales, the quango that decides what counts as a genuine faith as well as regulating fundraising bodies.

It guarantees the modern group, set up in 2003, valuable tax breaks but also grants the ancient religion equal status to more mainstream denominations.

This could mean that Druids, the priestly caste in Celtic societies across Europe, are categorised separately in official surveys of religious believers.

“The Druid Network”?! Seriously?

Are we about to watch a gaggle of hooded trollish women about to instruct us on today’s top headlines? Now that these wanna-be Jawas from the set of “Star Wars” are too legit to quit, what’s next? Ask the lead Hobbitt from Tattooine:

Emma Restall Orr, founder of The Druid Network, added: “The Charity Commission now has a much greater understanding of Pagan, animist, and polytheist religions, so other groups from these minority religions – provided they meet the financial and public benefit criteria for registration as charities – should find registering a much shorter process than the pioneering one we have been through.”

See there? That’s what this is really about, folks. The Boys under the Hood want some kickbacks because all that traveling to Stonehenge can be costly. Air fare. Cab ride. And all that cheap fast food.

I know the robes are one size fits all, but even all those cheeseburgers and dancing under the stars really add the pounds. Good thing the ‘Network’ is banking. Maybe know they can join a gym. You know, with the Benedictine Monks.

Hooded Daniel Jones (right) with his brother Barney at a meeting of their Jedi church in Holyhead, North Wales  (Courtesy: Daily Mail)

Hooded Daniel Jones (right) with his brother Barney at a meeting of their Jedi church in Holyhead, North Wales (Courtesy: Daily Mail)

That sound you hear blaring is the NERD ALERT!

And this one should have your ears ringing because that mercury in the dork-o-meter should be blowing out the top and causing this wall to be toxic.

I got the Purell… and you’re going to need it.

Thanks to the Daily Mail (UK), we find the founder of the Jedi religion (yes, as in Star Wars) was thrown out of a Tesco supermarket for not removing his Jedi hood.

Daniel Jones, 23, who has 500,000 followers worldwide, was told the hood flouted store rules and was ordered to remove it or leave the supermarket. As a result Jones, who also goes by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, claims he has been ‘victimised over his beliefs’ and left ’emotionally humiliated’ by the supermarket in Bangor, North Wales.

Okay, where in name of Yoda do I start?

1. Did you report 500,000 followers? I mean, ardent church-going folk believe George Lucas’ potpourri theology is actually a way to ascribe to the finer things in life?

I know what happens when I die – walking on streets of gold with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What happens when they die? Do they return to earth in fuzzy standard definition providing advice for their pocket-protector-wearing cronies languishing in their mama’s basement?

2. You left “emotionally humiliated”? Let me get this straight – you are walking around in the produce section (fitting since he looks like a big melon) and get approached by some guy making $10 an hour (a little more than 6 pounds, for those scoring at home in Great Britain) telling you to “Take it off.”

Hey, young Padawan, ever heard of shoplifting? What, did Obi-Wan not advise you if you look a crook, the only “force” you’re going to feel is a manager’s foot in your behind?!

And now, according to the Guardian (UK), this young Je-dork is considering suing for “religious discrimination.

“They weren’t listening to me and were rude. They had three people around me. It was intimidating.” Jones, who has made an official complaint to Tesco, is considering a boycott of the store and is seeking legal advice. Tesco said: “He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.” [Yeah, that’s a real quote.]

Obviously, there is no Tescos on my side of the pond, but if there were, my money would so go there, for nothing more than this quote and middle finger to PR:

“If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.”

Hrm. Look stupid you do. Get a life you should. Hrm.