Posts Tagged ‘license plate’

That sound you hear is millions of Christians staring at their Thomas Kinkade tchotchkey-du-jour in their house and hurling a plate of nachos at it. CRASH!

Thomas Kinkade gets his own picture - a mug shot

Looks like that 'light' is shining too brightly into his bloodshot eyes

Yes, it’s true. The great talent. The anointed vessel. The child of God Thomas Kinkade, affectionately known as “The Painter of Light,” evidently had a mind that went dark when he took the wheel while seriously under the sauce, thanks to FOX News:

Police initially pulled over the Mercedes driven by artist Thomas Kinkade in the city of Carmel last weekend because the car didn’t have a front license plate, Sheriff’s Cmdr. Mike Richards told The Herald.

Police then detected the smell of alcohol and conducted a sobriety test during which Kinkade, 52, “displayed signs of impairment to the officer,” California Highway Patrol spokesman Robert Lehman said.

Doh! Seriously? What’s this dude thinking? I’m sorry but he’s a painter. Did he think “Don’t you know who I am” would work, because odds are if you must ask that question, they probably don’t know who you are.

MEMO to the Man in the Mug: You’re Thomas Kinkade, not some frat boy on a two-day binge. What are you doing? Yes, Jesus forgave you the minute you began sipping but there are many holders of your precious, illuminated artwork that may have forced them to forget you.

Toxicology tests are still pending, but take a gander at the beleaguered artist here. Although he appears a few fries short of a happy meal, this guy can throw down on a buffet, and that means he gets thirsty.

Yes, he was hammered. Yes, he will try to fight this. Yes, he will blame medication. And no, many folk won’t believe him.

Thomas Kinkade and a roll of toilet paper. Funny stuff.

Thomas' believes in the rock and his name is on the... what again?

In fact, in a Christian book store in my fare burgh, would you believe his art was “taken to the back for business reasons?” Yes way. Christian folk can be some of the most narrow-minded, yes? Too bad I love them. Many folk think I am a tool as well.

Kinkade’s art has now slid down the value meter and could end up as Exhibit A if he just ignores this ever happened… that is, until we get a nice discount.

God’s people are far from being perfect, but you have to be smarter than that to cover up for your own humanity.

Poor guy. What kind of picture does this paint for “America’s Most Collected Living Artist”? My guess it looks like a Picasso right now.

I adore baseball, the Great Game. That said, the one thing I have always loved surrounding the sport is… er, sorry thanks to capitalism run amuck, was Monument Park. But, did you know, these hallowed plaques actually used to be in the field?

Can you imagine some steroid-laden third baseman crushing a hanging curve ball, then some rookie in left field screams to the corner post and WHAM! He smacks headlong into Babe Ruth’s mug. Now, that’s a curse.

Have the visual for your entertainment value? Good. DATELINE: Hyderabad, India.

Jesus! Take the wheel! Please!

Jesus! Take the wheel! Please!

Basically, imagine the baseball example… except you are driving around more than 253 obstacles! Oh yeah, and you can’t run them over because they are all religious structures, so defilement would be heinous and criminal.

According to a survey done by the traffic police, 117 temples, 129 mosques, chillahs and dargahs, four churches, one gurudwara and two burial grounds are obstructing the path of motorists. Additional commissioner (traffic) N V Surendra Babu said identification of structures were done based on the effect on the free flow of traffic.

So, what’s a drunk driver to do in the straits of New Delhi? I dunno. Ask the Department of Transportation, I think.

In cases where it is not possible, traffic police will suggest that the structures be relocated. “Taking the locals into confidence and briefing them about the importance and the inconvenience the structures have been causing, structures should be relocated to side of the road. But, the process should happen only with the `consensus’ and the decision cannot be imposed,” Surendra Babu said.

“Inconvenient”. Ya’ think?

How would you like to be doing 75 MPH in the rain, and then WHAM! Baby Buddha stops your hooptie and gives it a spiritual makeover? I don’t know about you but accidents aren’t the problem here. I would say it’s more like a mass rash of atheism in the sub continent. “God killed my car,” yeah, I would have to take up the whole ‘God gets on my nerves’ thing too.

No offense to Carrie Underwood, but “Jesus better take my wheel”! If some Omkar busted my ride, reincarnation would not be on my “must do” list. That’s all I’m saying.

Well, I knew it was too good to be true.

You post something that shows true equality for the Body of Christ, and someone gets curt, offended and just saucy.

And here it is… those South Carolina license plates that read, “I believe” may not happen after all because some folk not really appreciate proselytizing doing 75 MPH in a school zone.

They claim the Christian themed license plate — stating “I believe” and bearing a cross and a stained glass window — gives preferential treatment by the government to one faith.

You have to laugh. Some people in this world [COUGH…founding members of the ACLU…COUGH] are so harrowing toward God because of some unfortunate incident in Sunday school that they have made it their life’s mission to ensure no one gets to play Jesus kickball either.

So, I suppose all those “Love your dog” plates I see staring back at me in the HOV lane is because of some PETA-respecting member of Congress?! What about the college fanfare plates? You gonna gripe that the NCAA is taking over the world? Seriously, what’s next people? I never thought I could get road rage sitting down in front of a computer, but it just happened.

Well, South Carolina Christians, in the stoic words of that noted urban philosopher, Chuck D, “Fight the Power!” Plaster your bumpers with ichthuses (or would that be ‘ichthi’), bumper stickers and the phone number of your local church. That’ll fix ’em.

On June 7, we posted on the Wall about an anomaly in public transportation – a state-codified license plate.

NiceOh sure, you can have an ichthus on your bumper, a Jesus sticker in your window or even use a vanity plate reading your favorite verse or Jesus phrase.

However, imagine having a choice of a cross as common as your alma mater or SPCA commitment. And they [COUGH… ACLU, ATHEISTS, PC-FREAKS… COUGH] said it couldn’t happen. Evidently, THEY don’t live in South Carolina, which bravely voted to allow the local department of transportation to consider this venture.

Well, we set the over/under at four (weeks) for legal action to bar this harmless action. If you took the under, you would be rich. It’s only 13 days later, and the New York Times has broke the story.

The group, Americans United for Separation of Church and State, filed the lawsuit in Columbia, S.C., on behalf of three Christian clergy members, a rabbi and a Hindu group from the state, arguing that the license plates violated the Constitution…

…Approval of the plate “was a clear signal that Christianity is the preferred religion of South Carolina,” said the Rev. Barry W. Lynn, the group’s executive director and a United Church of Christ minister, “and obviously we don’t believe the Constitution allows this.”

Back to PETA… er, the SPCA for a minute. Does approval of proclaiming Bob Barker’s mantra on the your license plate illuminate a clear signal that pets are the appropriate companion of choice? I suppose that would offensive to those you enjoy… you know… humans?!

At any rate, I said it once and I’ll say it again – and if you know anyone in the Palmetto State, help HiScrivener say it as well – get to prayin’ South Carolina! You could create history, or just become another dreaded statistic of the ACLU and a victim of only group of people that is legally sanctioned for prejudice – Christians.

Have you noticed the craze on license plates today?

There are PETA tags, homages to your university, plates supporting every cause and charity under the sun and of course, typical state pride broadcast underneath your rear bumpers.

So, it makes sense that the Church gets some love and wants to get in this free advertising game. See, the plate? That was suggested in Florida, but apparently the octogenarian crowd wasn’t that hip to having ‘God as their co-pilot.’ Then, South Carolina – with its stars and bars – steps to the ring and gets it done.

Read the story from the New York Times here.

My only question is what are the odds? Tell you what. HiScrivener will set the over/under at 4. Four weeks until the dreaded ACLU gets involved, because as we all know if that ubiquitous and generic phrase, “I believe” was pioneered by the Dalai Lama, this wouldn’t be an issue. My recommendation? If you are in South Carolina, get to praying NOW.