Posts Tagged ‘homeless’

I know. I know. I never thought the economy would get so bad that this headline would ever be necessary. I always Jesus rocked the finest of tunics and got his hair groomed by celebrity stylists but it’s true according CNN’s Belief Blog:

George Horn allegedly broke into the St. John the Baptist Catholic Church on the night of June 26. Fort Lauderdale police say the 48-year-old suspect broke a window to enter the church, took a crucifix from the church’s altar and then used it to pry open a donation box.

What kind of sick and deranged fool do you have to be to use a crucifix to steal… from a church! Let’s find out:

That's a theft in progress. And yes, that's a crucifix in his hands.

Courtesy: Fort Lauderdale PD

There’s a theft in progress. That’s candid camera. And yes, that’s the Son of God in his clammy hands.

This guy is jonesin’ to go to hell. He has to be. Why else would you take that as your “Crowbar of record”?! Sure, this guy must have been a crackhead, but I can stumble across a homeless man, say the name of Jesus and get a civil response.

Not Rosemary’s Baby here. Oh no. He’s got life all figured out.

According to WPLC 10 in Fort Lauderdale, the guy was prying his way into a losing situation (Thanks, I’m here all week):

“It’s almost an act of desperation,” the Rev. James Daly, a visiting priest, told Local 10’s Janine Stanwood… Daly said the man first went for the two donation boxes located at each end of the church. Daly said people leave what they can in those boxes for the poor. They are locked and not always checked on a regular basis.

Daly said the burglar then walked toward a prayer area where candles are lined above.”Then he came up here where the bigger money would be. But there’s no bigger money because there’s nobody here in the summertime,” he said.

Here’s the ironic thing of the whole CSI case: The suspect, who was caught on surveillance video, cut himself at some point, leaving a large amount of blood behind, police said.

Anyone see the divine sense of humor in that?

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We all know Jesus is awesome at work, for work.

For most, if you side with righteousness in the commercial marketplace, you will get righteous sales. That’s a non-issue because the body of Christ may be many things, but one thing is irrefutable – we are loyalists to a fault. If it smells like a duck, we will quack all the way to the express lane to get a feathered friend on sale.

But now, Jesus is becoming passe as secular nitwits are using the Son of God to shill instead of be sacred. For example, PETA goes butt naked with supermodels looking like angels. Every faith-based entity has a stolener, borrowed marketing slogan of its own. Megachurches are trying to become the “big box chain store in the sky.” And let’s not forget the Holy See going iPope.

Everyone has a gimmick and it seems Jesus is being forced to become Donald Trump, pimping ideas and lending his name to everything in sight.

Lindsay Lohan Superstar

What’s new? Enter Lindsay Lohan, the narcotized and stupefied starlet who seems to yearn for “Groundhog Day” in an effort to recreate her 15 minutes of fame.

According to the UK celeb rag OK!, Lohan has decided to rock the crucifixion pose for a French fashion magazine. Because when I think of hot holy water, I dream of Lindsay.

Quite naturally, Bill Donahue with the Catholic League, was ready at the mic to drop his two cents down the gullet of Lohan:

“Not only is the pose inappropriate, the timing is offensive” because the sacred season of Lent starts next week, Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League. “The “spiritually homeless” Lohan recently Tweeted that “i’m all about Karma…what goes around comes around.”

He continued: “If she believes that, then it behooves her to apologize to Christians before it’s too late.”

Aside from the lack of taste and judgment, why?

I mean, what are you sporting for fashion? The latest in finely shewn, camel-haired togas… just like back in the days of JC and the Boyz?!

The girl is no Madonna. Or Kayne West for that matter. So is it a symbolic attempt to resurrect a dead career, or is the girl truly crying out not to be left behind?

This poor doltish girl has journeyed from Kabbalah to Judaism, Christianity to Scientology. And now, she’s gone Vogue with Jesus.

Perhaps Mr. Donahue should attempt his hand at sign language interpretation because those hands are open for a reason. Whatever the case, this ill-advised ingenue is trying to say something for her salvation. It’s just too bad no one that cares knows what it is.

Rapture.

It’s a word that instigates much ado about something. People know what it means; yet it is literally nowhere in the Bible. For those scoring at home, “Rapture” is derived from the Latin verb: ‘rapere’, of 1 Thess. 4:17—”we will be caught up,” [‘to carry off’ – or ‘catch up’]).

In other words, whether you can read the word or not in the Bible, when Jesus returns… we’re outta’ here.

Except for the fact, if you see this awe-striking picture from – of all places – Google’s street view, you would swear twice on Sunday that you missed said rapture.

Just look at this thing:

Heaven in Brooklyn

Who ever thought heaven on earth would be found in Brooklyn? Yet, there it is… the Shekinah Glory stepping over the homeless, hot sewage and petrified dog poop.

Ah well, if you can make it there… I suppose even Jesus needs a test run.

(Big masonry shout out to David Weiner of HuffPo).

Everything is on the rise in this tumultuous economy – energy, food, clothes and school.

Even if a couple wants to tie the knot, they have to visit the local Justice of the Peace to make public (and legal) their vows of love, and also to save some major cheddar.

In the words of that sage, Danny DeVito, “Everyone needs money; that’s why they call it money.”

You priced out a wedding lately? The facilities, the officiant, the frilly decorations, the bad hotel food and the Valium you get upon the bill being printed.

That knowledge helps me relish this story, when despite the ills of life, true love has a place… if only Grace Episcopal Church in D.C.’s Georgetown neighborhood felt the same.

Living under the bridge over troubled water??

Living under the bridge over troubled water??

Meet the betrothed couple in question: Dante White & Nhiahni Chestnut – both in love, with each other, out of work and without a home. BUT, they got married.

“I was basically living from day to day, trying to survive, and I wound up meeting him,” Chestnut told AFP at the couple’s wedding, held in the tiny chapel of Grace Episcopal Church in Washington’s Georgetown neighborhood.

Sweet, right? Hold that thought.

At a recent Bible study at the aformentioned church, White mentioned in passing the joy of being married, if only he had the cash.

“In good Grace church congregation fashion, everyone got behind the idea: one person managed flowers, I helped with the wedding rings, one woman made the cake, someone helped with the tux and someone else with the bride’s gown,” she [some chic who goes to the church] said.

So, sweet now? Not so much.

The church paid for the wedding, rented the threads, made the cake and even sent them on a honeymoon. Only one thing… THEY ARE STILL HOMELESS.

How about thinking ahead Grace Church? Let’s keep it classy.

Maybe a trip to Tahiti can wait for… oh, I don’t know… an efficiency apartment in the friggin’ city! Are you kidding me? No one considered these two that way?

Kinda thins the blood of the pulse of this ministry, eh?

Sure, “love will keep us together” but the streets will rip any couple apart. Simply unconsicousable. But if I may wax eloquent:

Who, being loved, is poor? ~ Oscar Wilde

My vote (and soon coming prayers) would be for this couple. Sigh.

One of the biggest problems in the Church today is our people just don’t seem to get along all that well… unless of course you stick a cause close to Jesus’ heart, and miraculously all those denominational debates go by the wayside.

We really are, you know

We really are, you know

“We are the World,” indeed, according to WOW News’ Reuters: Faithworld

In an effort to use music to help alleviate poverty throughout the world, a dozen of Christian music’s best-known singer-songwriters met in Scotland a year ago to create a special project. “CompassionArt: Creating Freedom From Poverty” is the brainchild of Delirious frontman Martin Smith. It features Michael W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, Israel Houghton, Chris Tomlin, Paul Baloche, CeCe Winans, Darlene Zschech and other notable acts donating all proceeds to charity.

This is what we call, in the biz, “a good move”. CompassionArt is currently supporting 16 different and worthwhile philanthropic organizations.

MEMO to every single worship pastor – and worshipper – out there: BUY THESE SONGS! Use them to bring your congregations into higher platitudes of worship, but know you are helping millions of people in the process.

All sales and publishing royalties go to charity. And because the songs are likely to be embraced by the church, they’ll have a longer shelf life and provide a continual revenue stream — “hopefully for 50, 60, 70 years, if we steward it right,” Houghton says. “It’s definitely a different type of residual income. If a song connects with the church worldwide, and if it’s put in hymn books and becomes a classic, that could make a difference for several generations.”

Wall Watchers, for more information on “creating freedom from poverty”, please… go here and pass it on. I could share many scriptures about helping humanity, but you know what to do. Peace.