Posts Tagged ‘Halloween’

If you have studied the Bible for any amount of time – or read this dude’s cyber musings –  you know there are a few exotic and striking stories that don’t really speak to devotion of God, but rather “these are the days of their lives.”

But since they are in the Bible, the condemnatory finger of an atheistic and paganistic public gets pointed in our direction. And Christians are left explaining religion through the fodder of sundry tales. Such as:

  • Genesis 30:37-39. Cloning, well in a paint-by-numbers kinda way.
  • Matthew 21:18-20. Jesus using powers for not-so-good. You know, because we all get a little persnickety when we don’t have breakfast.
  • 1 Samuel 18:20-30. Murder via Circumcision. Because when you are trying to get a hot woman’s attention, who the heck needs flowers?!
  • Genesis 38:1-10. Sperm banking and spillage. Masturbation isn’t good, but not using every bit to impregnate one’s sister-in-law is even worse. Good to the last drop, the ad-slogan says.
  • Leviticus 20. Law & Order before TV. Just pick one of the Levitical Laws to bemuse. You die if: you are a female sorcerer (the first fight for women’s suffrage), you get buck wild with a… well, a buck, you marry both a mother and her daughter (as if that wouldn’t be punishment enough), and of course having sex during that “special time of the month” is not good.

terror-textsThere are many not-so-boffo stories in the Bible as well, which is where this disturbing story from Yahoo! News by way of Iowa college takes us.

This place of higher education in Orange City, Iowa has decided a perfunctory role for its students’ path is to take six stories of cannibalism, rape and others heinous acts found elsewhere in the Old Testament and act them out in a play called “Terror Texts“… wait for it… A MUSICAL! What the…

Imagine the theatrics: Actors decked out in Goth attire, a rock band and a mosh pit. Oh, and the Bible.

“We believe we have discovered something that has been lying dormant for many, many centuries,” said Barker, who created and directs Terror Texts… “I was looking for terror text, stories I can say are thematically tied together because they are frightening and mysterious and terrifying,” Barker said. “That’s part of what we’re saying with this whole project that life and God himself are mysteries.

Well, yeah. I guess. But I prefer to believe those “acts” are people being people. If you want a play about God being God, give a Passion Play a try. Or watch “The Passion of the Christ.” Now, that’s entertainment and reality TV all rolled into one – without the ear-bleeding soundtrack.

Not Alex, but nice beard nonetheless.

Not Alex, but nice beard nonetheless.

Meet eighth-grader Alex Woinski.

A mild-mannered boy who in his half-Jewish/half-Catholic ecumenical roots decided he had a novel idea for this past Halloween – your favorite Savior and mine, Jesus Christ.

Evidently, that’s what the heathen principals of West Brook Middle School in Paramus, N.J. exclaimed in the school cafeteria when they first saw young Alex, shortly before they kicked his tail out of school for wearing such a heinous costume!

Woinski, who has shoulder-length brown hair, wore a white robe, a red sash, sandals, a fake beard and a crown of thorns. His mother told The Record of Bergen County that Alex was told he could keep the costume on if he removed the beard and crown of thorns. Superintendent James Montesano said the district doesn’t want students wearing costumes that could be distracting.

OK, we’ll let the Birkenstocks and tattered bedsheet slide. But proof of puberty and tree shrubs adorning your brow is something we can’t allow at West Brook Jr. High. Because with the many parents who allow their kids to go door-to-door dawning the Grim Reaper or that dumb mask from SCREAM, I suppose the visage of a young Messiah would be alarming.

Trick or Treat. Smell my feet. Give me some unleavened bread to kosher ham to eat.

Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, huh? Yeah, I would have sent that brat home too. Good on ya’ New Jersey public schools.