Posts Tagged ‘FLDS’

gods-top-10Huzzah! Another list for HiScrivener to enjoy, although this one is a tad more newsworthy.

Recently, Time magazine (with a little assist from FaithWorld on Reuters) came out with its conspicuous collection of the “Top 10 religion stories of the year.” Hrm, let’s see, shall we?

  1. The Economy Stumps Religion – Saddleback. Rev. Wright. The “Huckster”. Infamous endorsements. Evangelicals jump ship and get romanced by an elephant. And all that gets trumped by a recession?! Ah well, we tried to keep God in the headlines.
  2. Never Count the Mormons Out – Being a PR type, you are always thinking for a way out of a crisis. Considering the ballyhoo the FLDS stirred up in Texas and Mitt Romney swooned nationally, the holy skivvies got together and figured out a way to get back in the good graces of the media – protest gay marriage. Yeah, that’ll fix ’em.
  3. The Pope Wows the States – During John Paul’s trek to beatification and sainthood, swarthy priests and their impious relationships with altar boys monopolized headlines, so the new guy had to find a way to shine a light a sweetness on the Vatican. Maybe B16 has heard of the greatness of “A Tribe Called Quest,” because he went on an “Award Tour” from NYC to DC. Good times on those frequent flyer miles, Il Papa.
  4. The Canterbury non-Tale – Anglicans. Episcopalians. Poh-tay-toe. Poe-ta-toe. What’s the difference besides each being on the the other side of an ocean? Oh yeah. that whole “You can be gay, and still be an effective witness for Jesus” thingy.
  5. America’s Unfaithful Faith – Somethings in life are worth shopping – homes, cars, wardrobes. However, faith is not one of them, and this story shows that folk don’t care because denominations were being swapped out like rolls of toilet paper. Once someone gets done with personal business in the confessional… well, you get the analogy.
  6. Tibet’s Monks Rebel – And who says the Olympics are always predictable? What’s sad is some think the Dalai Lama was behind this massacre. Wonder if Richard Gere had to say anything about his BFF?
  7. The Birth of the New Evangelicalism – It’s been an interesting year for the Church. While some say the religious right has taken a turn for the “left”, others – as in this story – say they have gotten more vociferous than ever. I suppose something should be for those youth groups after all.
  8. The Challenge of Recession – It’s hard to give an offering when you have nothing to offer, but somehow the Church will overcome. Otherwise, we will all be singing Kumbaya in some field with the tarantualas and tumbleweeds. Hey wait, maybe those compounds are on to something?!
  9. When Kosher wasn’t Kosher – When I think of child labor and sweat shops, I think of cheap cotton sweatsuits and fancy girlie clothes, not Kosher meat. When this story came out, synagogues everywhere were reconsidering their menu… and possibly what’s in their closet.
  10. Extraterrestrials May Already be Saved – I knew I was on to something! What is still the most popular post of “The Writing on the Wall,” is now one of the biggest faith-based stories of the year. Good on ya’ Wall Watchers. And to think, the Vatican still employs a dude who consults his Tarot cards more than his Bible. We still have work to do.

A not so long time ago in a desolate land far away depending on where you live, the national news was all about a motley crew of renegade fundamental MormonsF-undamental-LDS for those scoring at home – who thought the way to a better religion was living on a remote Texas compound, make all their own clothes and impregnate pre-pubescent children.


polygamy-porterSuffice to say, the good God-fearing folk in west Texas didn’t take kindly to that kind of behavior, religious or otherwise. They raid the compound thanks to a bogus phone call and place more than 400 children in state custody.

In the process, the Lone Star State ran up a ghastly total of $9 million just in the first few weeks. And, that is a lot of Mormon beer-chasing, bang-bang gun play (as possibly noted here).

Whew! There’s some inflation. And now, thanks to the Houston Chronicle, the child welfare authorities want their cut.

The raid of a polygamist sect’s Texas ranch cost child welfare authorities $12.4 million in overtime, transportation and shelter costs, according to newly released figures… The $12.4 million does not include the costs associated with the remaining cases, said Patrick Crimmins, a spokesman for Child Protective Services. It doesn’t include court costs either.

So, in the spirit of Christmas, I move the state of Texas would like a refund. After all, these guys were just being Mighty Mouse and coming to save the daaaaaaaay. They weren’t planning on all this ballyhoo and swapping of credit cards and blank checks.

Maybe they can make back their cash by finally empting out the ranch of all those pesky kids and hot mamas and play “Home on the Range”. You know, get some cows, horses, chickens… oh, and Alpacas. I hear those are in fashion now. Can’t be any more a-go-go than those flashy threads those mamas are sporting.

Remember Chad Hardy?

No? Well, the LDS Church sure does. He was that snarky yet adventrous entrepreneur from Las Vegas with six generations of allegiance stored up for the Mormons; however, he thought it to be a good idea to make a missionary beefcake calendar.

Well, long (and amusing) story short, some of the elders at “Supplement to the Bible Central” considered the calendar promoting a “Few Good Men” sacrilege and proceeded to excommunicate his tail from the church.

mormon-family-crossingAnd to best illustrate the cultic owens of the LDS church, Chad Hardy was attending Brigham Young University (Mormon U.) and now – according to the Salt Lake Tribune – his kick in the pants made him ineligible for graduation.

In a letter sent Friday to the office of Norman Finlinson, executive director of BYU’s Student, Academic and Advisement Services, Salt Lake City attorney Stephen C. Clark demanded the school award the diploma or hold a formal appeals process, which Hardy never had. Failing to give Hardy a fair hearing could prompt legal action, Clark’s letter said.

Ya’ think? But where is that ‘fair hearing’ going to take place? Provo? Hyde Park? Brigham City? Because that freakish school is not going to let Chad be given a fair trial. Why? Because this will be cast in front of a jury of his “peers”.

You know, all of them wearing holy skivvies, reading a fake Bible, believing what “God know is, man can become” and having no clue of the fate that awaits them if they don’t get their craper, theology straight. Yeah, those peers.

Dude has an affinity for time and dates, trying to get a college degree and a bunch of curmudgeons seal his fate because they aren’t fond of Chad’s idea of business development. Ah well, maybe he can transfer to the University of Utah. Now, that’s irony at its finest if you know anything about college football.

Let’s see here (cue harp music):

  • Nut job mormon decides there’s enough of him to go around (wassup ladies)
  • Teaches other dirty old men the same thing, trolling for older chics not that successful so skews a younger demo
  • Not too keen on the Utah vibe so they build a big temple in the Texas plains
  • The feds catch an ill wind blowing, get involved and abducter, rescue all those kids victimized by said dirty old men
  • And blah, blah, blah

Yeah, we have been here before. Looks like we are going back to Petticoat Junction because it seems the state of Texas haven’t given up and want eight of those kids back in custody.

Texas child welfare authorities are asking Texas District Judge Barbara Walther to put eight children, ranging in age from 5 to 17, back in state custody, alleging their mothers have refused to limit contact with men accused of being involved in underage marriages.

Sometimes you just need to let folk be because griping about it just antagonizes them. But here’s an age-old question: If the kids are ages 5 – 17, and the mothers are ALLOWING the MEN (not fathers) to have their way, AND THE STATE OF TEXAS HAS PROOF, what’s stopping Walker Texas Ranger from going in there and opening up a fresh can of whoop @$$ on those pedophiles!?

Stories all over the country about “get the kids” and “let my people go” but not one about “Perverts arrested and hung out to dry from FLDS compound.” Am I missing something?

Oh yeah, my sanity keeping track of this kooky collection of polygamist deviants (and yes, I’m talking about the mothers as well). Calgon, take THEM away… because the state of Texas apparently can’t!

Just when you thought it was safe to take your 13-year old out of the house to party, they’re baaaaaaaaaack.

We have spent the past couple of months discussing the wiles of this maverick sect from the greater cult hub, and there is still more lent and cookie crumbs stuck in-between the couch pillows of this nasty living room. As noted in the linked story from MSNBC:

Tela Mange, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Public Safety, told NBC the investigation involved about 20 claims of abuse and 50 claims of bigamy involving sect members. She said it was unclear how many cases ultimately would be pursued.

Here’s the question of the day: How come the MEN in this insane asylum escaped scrutiny? I mean, we heard about the women, the children, their whack-job leader and then the most expensive child custody case of the century. Mysteriously, amidst all that perturbation, the men skate out of that compound through the back door without a whiff of camera coverage. How else did tweenagers have babies? The freakin’ stork?! Wake up, people.

Here’s an idea since no one in south Texas has the light bulb sparking. Why not stick all the men from the Texas compound – including its morally-defective, spiritually-degenerative leader Warren Jeffs chained to a certain box that uh, ticks – and gas the whole thing. If these men are all that twisted and perverted to think a prepubescent girl would make an ideal wife, they are beyond help. Maybe if they each got a personal ad from some trannies, that’ll fix ’em. Who knows?

However, probably the most harrowing statement of this entire story is this:

The sect’s doctor was charged with three counts of failing to report child abuse.

Let me get this right. This nut house had a licensed doctor checking on these pistachios. Given the massive amount of child birth in there, I guess he thought it was something in the water. So, he checks on the girls as they become of age (you know, 10 in there) and found “abuse”.

Yet, despite is Hippocratic Oath, he decided to just become a sardonic hypocrite. Are you serious? I have it said it before, but there is a special room heater laced with kerosene in hell for this dude. Too bad. Just when the Mormon Tabernacle Choir thought it was OK to sing again, along comes this report to stifle their voices and get the LDS back to Spin Control.

Stay tuned.