Posts Tagged ‘exorcism’

From Idol Chatter, a fave from the Beliefnet-work and “Another Brick in the Wall”, has posted something about the holy writ that leaves a certain unsavory and unpious taste in HiScrivener’s mouth.

Anyone interested in the uber-pro-homosexual ‘Princess Diana Bible’?! No, seriously.

Now, you may be thinking the psychogenic princess gathered together a bunch of biblical scholars in jolly ol’ England, maybe in the hallowed halls of Buckingham Palace, to discuss hermaneutics and apologetics of the word of God, right?

people-diana-revenge

Maybe this was her reply to the Anglican Church?!

Uh, not so much.

The upcoming “Princess Diana Bible” will be a pro-gay translation bible from authors who claim “there is solid evidence that Adam and Eve were both women” and whose current movie has been banned by at least one movie theater chain.

The name of the group says it all: “Revision Studios” will be the publisher of the new book that will say that “gay is better than straight” according to a press release drawing attention to Director Max Mitchell, the writer and producer of “Horror in the Wind.” There will also be a new part mini-series: “The Gay Old Testament” and “The Gay New Testament.”

Does this madness ever stop? Is no one scared of God any more? You know, if you were acosted by some dude and now you find solace in the arms of another woman, I get that. If you just never fit in the locker room, so now you are at ease with your man crush, I get that too. It’s a sin, but I understand.

THIS maniacal behavior I don’t get, and am so waiting for a lightning bolt to shock the bejeebers out of that “studio”. And just to add testosterone to their misguided, sardonic libido, we have a preview of Genesis. Interested?

“And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Aida, and she slept: and he took one of her ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from woman, made he another woman, and brought her unto the first. And Aida said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of me. Therefore shall a woman leave her mother, and shall cleave unto her wife: and they shall be one flesh.’ And they were both naked, the woman and her wife, and were not ashamed.”

I am rarely a man sorely searching for words, but I got nothing – no quips, no biting humor, no snappy wit. I am bone dry on this. All I know after reading Lady Di’s “Genesis” is another memoir I read in Revelation:

For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.

God may have saved the Queen, but your jacklegged tail is fresh out of hope. Much like those books were hurled in the movie “Footloose,” Burn Baby Burn!

Just in time for the holidays is a doll slamming the shelves that makes me want to steer not to the toy section, but around itthe Mommy Cuddle n’ Coo.

Every time I stroll down the toy area of my favorite French boutique, Tar-zhay, the second my cart meanders in their possessed aisle, I “puddle and poo.” Those things – en masse – begin ranting with their automated giggle in stereo and skeeres the bejesus out of me. Those loony little dolls freak me out.

You know, I abhor Christmas stuff hitting stores before Halloween, but with this sardonic slobbering thing, it’s fitting. And now, thanks to this story here – and the clip below – I know why!

It’s inspiration was Linda Blair and her split-pea soup. Better yet, Osama bin Laden and the reason he runs from the troops! Click, watch and learn… and then planning on getting your lil’ Wall Watcher another Barbie.

In 2002, a legal case of biblical proportions hit a Texas courtroom that caused the Church to ask, “What took so long?”

You’ve seen “The Exorcist,” you know what happens. She screams, the preachers lays hands, Jesus does his majestic part, and they all live happily ever after… or some such. That didn’t happen at Pleasant Glade Assembly of God church in Colleyville, Texas, according to this recap story from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

After the aerobic activity in Jesus name, the family eventually sued the church, saying that their daughter had been abused and falsely imprisoned, but the 2002 trial never touched on the religious aspects of the case. The church’s attorneys told a Tarrant County jury that Schubert’s [the girl in question] psychological problems were caused by traumatic events she witnessed while her parents were serving as missionaries in Africa.

During the incident, asked for by the girl’s parents, she suffered carpet burns, a scrape on her back and bruises on her wrists. Evidently, after the exorcism, it was quite the gossip button and Schubert experienced angry outbursts, weight loss and self-mutilation and eventually dropped out of high school her senior year. She was later diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Long story, short. The Schuberts won $300K for mental anguish, but then the Texas Supreme Court intervened and cut that amount in half.

“Freedom to believe may be absolute, but freedom of conduct is not, and ‘conduct even under a religious guise remains subject to regulation for public safety,’ ” Chief Justice Medina wrote.

[David] Pruessner, the church’s attorney, agreed, saying that church members were simply trying to help Schubert and that there wasn’t any evil intent.

“This was clearly a religious controversy, and I don’t see how anyone can argue that they were seizing on religion as a get-out-of-jail-free card,” Pruessner said. “I disagree vehemently with the spiritual beliefs of the church and how they handled it; it doesn’t mean they are legally liable.”

Man! Whoever thought when Linda Blair spit up all that split pea soup, it would have caused some sort of legal precedent. Hollywood, eh?