Posts Tagged ‘da vinci code’

People make too much, way too much out of movies.

It’s Hollywood, which I believe is slang for “complete and utter dystopian fiction.” That said, when these fudged storylines come out, some factions make believe this makebelieve is made real, if only people would believe it. (Anyone follow that?)

“The Exorcist” made me people scared not to go to church. “The Blair Witch Project” took the Internet by storm. And “1984” has some convinced it was not a movie, but a prophecy.

angels-and-demonsAnd then there was the “Da Vinci Code,” a book made into a movie that continued a global kerfuffle that Mary Magdalene somehow got her Messianic groove on. It was sacrilege. It was impious. And, it was hilarious. At least to most comfortable Christians, it should have been.

But to those who believe culture is as sacred as Christ, they lost their minds… and their salvation. Catholics were acting the fool and for good reason. The great thing is most protestants were driving the car most Catholic picketers were traveling in.

From the sanctuary to the monastery, angst was flooding the gates of the Vatican because of a decent movie and a book that was not-so-much.

Fast forward to the prequel sequel, “Angels & Demons.” See, Dan Brown wrote it after “Da Vinci Code” but Ron Howard decided to make it before Tom Hanks saves the world from the Knights Templar and moves on to the surreptitious, infamous and ubiqutious Illuminati.

Thanks to this byline article in HuffPo, which includes an open letter from William Donohue from the Catholic League and a certain director of “Angels & Demons,” Ron Howard stands up for his film… and himself:

Let me be clear: neither I nor Angels & Demons are anti-Catholic. And let me be a little controversial: I believe Catholics, including most in the hierarchy of the Church, will enjoy the movie for what it is: an exciting mystery, set in the awe-inspiring beauty of Rome. After all, in Angels & Demons, Professor Robert Langdon teams up with the Catholic Church to thwart a vicious attack against the Vatican. What, exactly, is anti-Catholic about that?

In other words (if you’ll allow me to paraphrase):

“It’s a movie, people! I’m Ron Howard… and you’re not. So enjoy your 15 minutes, because when this flick opens, I’ll be in Puerto Vallarta collecting a tan… and a check. Peace.”

There have been rumors of the Vatican blocking Howard filming this movie in Rome (no, really). There are already critics claiming this sequel prequel is more convoluted than the first. Regardless, there’s a lot out there that will outweigh the naysayers and cause this movie to rocket to #1 in movie billings.

That is, until Michael Bay sets religion on its ear and brings “Transformers 2” to town. And that make believe is very real.

Too bad this wasn't a permanent thing

Too bad this wasn't a permanent thing

Pop music came and went – abysmally. Then, the nation learned just how dumb a blonde could be (thank you, MTV). A few bad movies, followed by a tryst with a Dallas Cowboys quarterback (yes, she is Yoko Romo!) and now she is a country singer?!

In summation, Jessica Simpson is all over the map – and all in an effort to keep stretching that 15 minutes into the time/space continuum.

And now, we have this lovely story from the Christian Post and Extra TV: Jessica Simpson wants to study religion.

It’s appropriate this dunderhead was not influenced by her family (her mega-creepy, dirty-old-man father was a Baptist preacher), but rather by a completely misguided movie, “The Da Vinci Code.”

“I’ve been contemplating taking a college course in religion,” the pop star-turned-country singer told Marie Claire magazine. “I love religion.” Simpson said she was especially drawn by the Discovery Channel feature “Da Vinci’s Lost Code,” which aired ahead of the theatrical release of “The Da Vinci Code” starring Tom Hanks. “I remember whenever the book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ came out, the Discovery Channel did this three-night piece on it that I TiVoed and then watched eight times,” she said.

So, she watches a movie that stains religion, unlocks her own cerebral codifier and now decides to pursue a course (surely not a degree) in religion. Nice. Hey, I don’t know about you but I’m just impressed she remembered to count that high. And didn’t even have to take off her shoes to do it.

Archaeologists and geologists and lots of other -ologists seem to be perpetually be on biblical expeditions to find relics such as:

  • Two of anything that took that scenic trek on the Ark,
  • The actual jawbone of that @$$ and,
  • To discover if a “behemoth” is really a great animal or just a truly pesky insect.

Well, the Immaculate Indiana Jones (except he’s French) found the Holy Grail, or some such. A pretty inviolable cup, nonetheless (see the picture).

So, how did he know it had any connection to Jesus Christ. It appears much as I label my lil’ Wall Watchers’ sippy cups, this cup mentioned the Savior, and his propensity to be David Copperfield… for the very first time in recorded A.D. history no less.

A team of scientists led by renowned French marine archaeologist Franck Goddio recently announced that they have found a bowl, dating to between the late 2nd century B.C. and the early 1st century A.D., that is engraved with what they believe could be the world’s first known reference to Christ.

The full engraving on the bowl reads, “DIA CHRSTOU O GOISTAIS,” which has been interpreted by the excavation team to mean either, “by Christ the magician” or, “the magician by Christ.”

What’s next? The Knights Templar show up discussing the Da Vinci Code while juggling chainsaws? On fire? You know, if this was a cyber domicile of pagan focus, I would ruminate in another fashion. But since it’s not, suffice to say, “What?!” Although this is an interesting article with many-a-theory, I’ll recommend one of my own…

These days, depending on who you ask, “Jesus” could be “Gee-sus” or “Hay-zeus”. So, “Christos” is the “Hay-zeus” of antiquity, and this mug was just speaking about some day laborer found on the banks of the Red Sea. There! Now, I feel better.

Now if I can just shake the irony of this story coming out in October – the month of Halloween. But that’s another post all together.

You remember the Knights Templar?

That vagabond group of hooligans known for liberating the Holy Land and have since become BFFs with the Holy See and every Pontiff since the days of those hallowed Crusades.

No? How about the mystical monastic order rumored to be guardians of the Holy Grail? Oh, those Knights Templar! Yeah, amazing how Hollywood strikes mental bells like Quasimodo, eh?

Anywhoo, don’t believe the press – namely not the one the Pope runs out of the Vatican. It’s a sham. They just hold hands for the press junkets and new book signings by Dan Brown.

Evidently, things aren’t coming up incense with this relationship, at least not according to this interesting story from the UK Register.

The Knights Templar are demanding that the Vatican give them back their good name and, possibly, billions in assets into the bargain, 700 years after the order was brutally suppressed by a joint venture between the Pope and the King of France.

Well, that’s sweet. Just when you thought Indiana Jones found the pesky grail and the “Da Vinci Code” lied about it, reality sets in with this story. Speaking of the Grail, I wonder what 700 years of antiquity will do for its resale value. Anyone know any reputable pawn shops in the Vatican we can visit? Anyone?