Posts Tagged ‘Charles Darwin’

Religion and animals. They have been intertwined since the beginning of time.

  • Noah had the ark, and all the animals two-by-two
  • Muslims abstain from swine
  • Mayans have a movie coming out about Quetzalcoatl
  • Mythological creatures are typically morphed humans and horses or whatever
  • Treatment of animals is holy writ according to Judaic law
  • And then there are Hindus who give a new meaning to “Holy Cow”

Looks like something from a Disney movie really

Looks like something from a Disney movie really

Evidently, they are pretty sweet on elephants, at least according to this Christian group that has been picketing the Calgary (Alberta, Canada) Zoo.

The Calgary Zoo said it has no plans to remove a dancing elephant statue after a complaint from a Christian group that it’s an inappropriate religious icon.

A private donor gave the statue, modeled after the Hindu god Ganesh, to the zoo in 2006 to stand in front of the Asian elephant exhibit. As CBC News first reported, Concerned Christians Canada sent a letter raising its concerns that the statue was “selective religious partiality” to the zoo on Thursday.

MEMO to CCC: The ecumenical pachyderm here was donated to the zoo, and in lieu of the global economy, you think they are really going to give that up in account of, what did you call it again, “Selective religious partiality”? Uh, no.

“A lot of people are saying we’re being intolerant. I don’t consider asking that the zoo look at this from a balanced perspective being intolerant,” said national chairman Jim Blake on Friday.

What? You want a crucifix to dangle in the ape exhibit, as if to tell Charles Darwin where to stick it? Perhaps, a Bible in the snake exhibit with the tempting verse from Romans 16:20 that “the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.” Great, but when that happens, watch out PETA because those will make some sweet boots. Just sayin’.

See here, the fallibility of this protest is most Christians will look at that cute elephant and think, “Aw, that’s cute.” They aren’t thinking, “I’ll bet that’s a surreptitious homage to Hinduism. I’m calling the manager.”

If you want to make a difference for Jesus, pick a cause everyone understands because right now you may as well be telling kids all over Canada that zoos are of the devil. And just how “concerning” is that?

Hollywood can put anything into a chic flicker, a love story.

Consider a “Titanic” tugboat sinking in the middle of a freezing ocean. Do you remember the iceberg or two schmucks getting buck wild in Model A Ford?

What about a woman who is haunted by the “Ghost” of her hubby. Do you automatically think about a woman freaking out calling ghostbusters or a schmaltzy pottery barn scene.

Now, add to that a delightful love story between an acclaimed (but slightly off his rocker) scientist and his sanctimonious wife, and then rocked by the loss of his daughter, this scientist decides to blame God and write a book.

That book would be “Origin of the Species,” and that dude would be Charles Darwin.

Yes, his life is now coming to theaters near you. It’s not “The Passion,” but it may be worth the price of admission… you know, if you fancy a witnessing challenge.

Ah, the warmth of the holidays.

Hot cocoa by an open-lit fire. Presents under the tree. Nat King Cole crooning “The Christmas Song”. And a condom handed to you by Santa Claus himself. Yep, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year…er…you say one of those things don’t belong?!

santacondoms2Makes sense to most Canadians who live in Toronto, as Santa was personally invested in who was naughty or nice as the Durex condom company paid perverted St. Nicks to hand out provolactics to passers-by. Stay Classy, Father Rated X-mas.

A press release from the company explained that costumed representatives, dressed as Santa Claus, would be handing out the condoms beginning on Tuesday, December 16. “This holiday season, Durex(R) wants lovers to really feel the Love,” says the release. “Helping Canadians get in the mood to wrap their packages, Durex and Santa will start celebrating the holidays by handing out Love condoms this Tuesday, December 16, 2008 in downtown Toronto. Giving never felt so good!”

Eartha Kitt would be puuuurfectly ashamed, as this gives a completely new and debauched meaning to “Santa Baby.”

It’s bad enough these tools at Durex think this is a kitschy enough idea to do during Christmas, paying no attention to the whole Jesus over tones, but does anyone at that worthless company understand who Saint Nicholas was in the first place?

Despite the ironic fact he looks an awful lot like Charles Darwin, he is a patron saint… as in revered Catholicism… and they may as well be doing this on the campus of Notre Dame for a bigger offense to that group of God-fearing folk. I guess the twisted street team could hae dressed up as priests, but they may have looked too conspicuous, eh?

So, Roman Catholics and all Greek and Eastern Orthodox believers alike, here is my present to you: Durex’s contact information.Forget the raincoat, USE THAT LINK to make a difference! Speech may be free, but I sincerely hope it costs Durex a lot. Hey, we all spend money this time of year. Let’s pray they spend more than most.

If Darwin was the chief marketing officer of today’s Christian bookstore and for-profit organization, your community would look like “Planet of the Apes.” You know, ape breath all in your face and the kids would go crazy looking for action figures with that real half-eaten banana odor too.

But put a [COUGH] “Christian executive” in charge, and it’s more like “Planet of the Dolls” causing store owners to cry “Mama” daily. There’s no thinking outside the box, but rather all marketing & PR efforts stay confined in one.

Jobs are getting cut, product is lessening and interest is waning. Why? Because Jesus Christ just isn’t trendy?! You know, his shelf-life has lasted more than 2,000 years. You would think that’s something to buy stock in, but not so much – at least not according to this story from the Washington Post.

“Christian stores used to be destination stores because . . . they had the dominant selection of product in the marketplace,” said Bill Anderson, president and chief executive of CBA (formerly the Christian Booksellers Association), which hosts the annual show. “And we are teaching them they still must have that, but that alone is not enough. . . . To be a destination store, they have to offer that customer a total shopping experience that is rich and rewarding in and of itself.”

OK, so what’s the difference between a Borders and [enter your niche Christian place name here]?

  • Coffee – Both. Edge: Borders because they taste more like Starbucks and less like you know, coffee.
  • Multi-media – Mostly one-sided. Edge: Borders. Just because you have one set of headphones for folk to listen to CDs doesn’t make you multi-media.
  • Selection – Depends on what you are looking for. Quantity? Edge: Borders. Quality? Edge: Your place, BUT just because “Not of this world” is the trendiest apparel out there, doesn’t mean everything they put out rocks. Some of those shirts would get put back on the rack at a Goodwill store.

You see the problem? There’s no differentiation, so it comes down to sex appeal. What catches my eye immediately? Big box stores have the nice decor, wider selections and even that nice smell marketers use that mysteriously invade your olfactory system the second those doors open. So, what do Christian companies to do support “Your Place” – not much.

Last April, Thomas Nelson cut about 10 percent of its staff, after previously deciding to halve the number of new titles this year. “You don’t talk to any retailers that are saying what we need is more books,” said Michael Hyatt, president and chief executive of Thomas Nelson, which sells about 35 percent of its products through Christian retailers. “What they’re all saying is, ‘We need better books.’ ” Zondervan, another big Christian publisher, owned by HarperCollins, cut five executive positions and a dozen others as a part of an organization streamlining in May.

So instead of offering a plethora of selections that may entice readers, you limit the selections to those raggedy names only seen on TBN and DAYSTAR?! You need “better books,” but the future of Christian writing (and toys, apparel, et cetera) is languishing out there without representation because you are focused on Big Box mentality – quantity, not quality. Better does not always mean “new and improved”. Sometimes, it simply means NEW. More of those folk is not always the path to success. Sometimes you have to MARKET a different path BETTER!

MEMO to Christian Wanna-be Big Box Organizations: Christians do not watch TBN and Daystar exclusively! As a matter of fact, CCM radio may not even be a pre-set on their car radio. They aren’t necessarily compromising, they find a fix that doesn’t put their faith in question. And guess what y’all? You don’t cut it.

“Your Place” typically either looks like a downtrodden, retro 80s convenience store or a condensed version of Wal-Mart, except without you know, the quality. If I am not a fan of ‘Televangelist X’, then having end caps of ONLY those folk will not entice me. Who else is in your store? We have no idea, because you don’t market them effectively.

Oh, by the way, there is more substance to Christian marketers than using a popular brand and placing a cute scripture in it?! MUCH MORE. You should use it sometime.

Ingenious sites like “Church Marketing Sucks” exist for a reason. So, ask yourself Pseudo Jesus-in-a-Big-Box store, why? It’s because of that shelf-life mentioned earlier. Name a brand, ANY brand. None has equaled the market share, recognition and faithfulness among consumers than Jesus! If I sold pools, I would find every way in the world to market my product, from the construction to production, design to differentiation.

But if I followed the “Your Place” business and marcom plan, instead of publicizing pools, I would just end up taking a bath. Wake up, Church! Please?

Tattoo artist for God?FINALLY, news from Mount Vernon about John Freshwater… only not the kind of news he desired.

In April, we posted a graffiti tirade on the Wall about this middle school science teacher going about his daily grind in the classroom with his trusty Bible by his side… and on his desk.

Months later, he his a household name in the media, has government agencies breathing down his neck for defying ‘the man’ and what have now recently discovered…


Are you serious? Your fight was about religious freedom, not fraternal folklore. I don’t care what you heard was acceptable as a collegiate rite of passage, this is the 8th GRADE, dude. And although I don’t think it’s in your school handbook, branding students like a herd of cattle is not acceptable and could be grounds for termination.

Well, it is. And peace out, John.

Some latitude if you will? The original post was about religious rights and the plight of Christians as the ONLY American group of citizens that has no recourse for prejudice or guile geared against it. Blacks, gays, women, Native Americans, the elderly… name the group, it’s just not cool (and now illegal) to hate on them and perpetrate against them.  But for the Church? Gather ’round, it’s in season.

That was the catalyst of Freshwater’s fight, and we applauded his determination for Christ. But this? Well, suffice to say, you have seen the devolution of a proud zealot for God into a delusional nitwit that has an excess of branding irons laying around.

In conclusion, there should be a space for both theories of how we got here taught in class. No, not because of the founding fathers argument, but because you don’t hear Hindus arguing that point or Zoroastrians fighting for its focus of a cosmic makeover. The Bible and Darwin’s fishing expeditions are – in a word – it.  So why not allow students the chance to deduce? That is, after all, the reason for TEACHING, isn’t it?

WWJD? Not this, that’s for sure. Any time something is burned on my skin for religious reasons, it will be by force. I have read the Bible you know.