Posts Tagged ‘amusement park’

Bible Park USA.

Well, well, it sure has been a long saga with plenty of pause in-between. Let’s recap this ironic journey through the desert (in Nashville, but what’s the big deal over geography anyway).

  1. Bible Park USA finds a home in the bursting metropolis of Murfreesboro, Tenn., but it seemed there was also a great rainforest to protect there as well. Maybe that was outside the Jack Daniels distillery. News at 11.
  2. One of the main investors in this CHRISTIAN THEME PARK was a photographer for Penthouse. Nothing smacks of Jesus like a great testimony. Well, doesn’t it? Anybody?
  3. The exodus of God’s people (at least the wannabe staff of BPUSA) splits Murfreesboro en route across some puddle on the highway to the next county of Wilson to the ironic city of Lebanon. Hmmm, maybe they can build a treehouse in a bunch of cedars. You know, endear yourself to the locals.

And now, we have this story from the Christian Post: the $175 million Bible-themed park has a permanent home despite protest, people or even Penthouse. The city known for another god in the Middle East will become the “MECCA” of Christian entertainment. (WOW, Somebody stop me!)

The “edutainment” theme park that boasts a mixed offering of education and entertainment through visual exhibits of Bible stories from both the Old and New Testaments will be located 30 minutes from downtown Nashville.

Some of the featured attractions will include a Bible Land Fly-Through indoor ride, an indoor Exodus Experience featuring the parting of the Red Sea with high-tech standing 25-foot waves and image projection, recording studios for church choirs and a recreation of Noah’s Ark, according to Bible Park USA’s Web site.

Just one thing: That uh, “Exodus Experience“. Let’s just make sure the line to get on the ride doesn’t last 40 days. If so, you may get some nasty reviews and no repeat guests. I’m just sayin’.

This ongoing drama that began in Murfreesboro, Tenn. on a nautical quest for Bible Park USA has moved down the road to Lebanon, Tenn. in search for port of call. Yet, the high seas continues to rage against the ecumenical entertainment complex.

According to this story in the Murfreesboro Post, Bible Park USA seems to really have a hankering for this little town. Now they are suing for reconsideration of the zoning restrictions they were denied:

The Shelton family, which owns the 240 acres optioned by SafeHarbor, LLC for the development of Bible Park USA, filed suit against Rutherford County last month challenging the county’s denial of the park’s rezoning request. The lawsuit requests the landowner petition be corrected, the zoning application approved and attorney’s fees be paid by the county. No specific damages were requested.

OK, so Murfreesboro didn’t want you. And? WWJD, dude? He would go somewhere where he was needed (not necessarily wanted). Why not focus on Lebanon? Not pretentious enough?

It turns out, Lebanon folk love you and not mind you building “Six Flags over Jesus” there, according to this story from the Nashville Business Journal:

“Being able to attract a $200 million attraction right here to add to our tax base and build our tourism market is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,” Lebanon Mayor Don Fox says in the statement. “We want to do everything we can to be the chosen site for the Bible Park USA project.”

“Tourism market”? In Lebanon, Tennessee? This really is Moby Dick, isn’t it? This big ol’ thing and you want to harpoon him with a toothpick. Weirder things have happened, but this search for a Bible-themed park sure can get a preacher hot under the collar.

Consider Captain Ahab, “From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale.” Well, let’s pray it’s not that bad.

That’s the problem with some great exploits the Church takes on – not enough support. Take ‘Bible Park USA‘ in Murfreesboro, Tenn.

Evidently, it got the same love most crack houses get from addicts, “Hey! I will secretly go there – promise – but I just don’t want you as a neighbor. You understand, right?”

According to this recent story from the local paper, denizens of the metropolis voted a hearty “NO” to rezoning allowances for the sacred playgrounds. So, now Bible Park USA is suitably acting like Christ. Once thought dead, they are again walking… due South to Lebanon, Tenn for consideration.

All I have to say is if this place finally does open its mud-hut doors, they need THIS FITTING STORY as a Spindletop ride in there somewhere. (Get it? All this commotion and the floor drops out from the bottom of everyone. Too much of a reach?)

Ya’ think?

The countless Six Flags entertainment parks around the country get millions of tourists annually, but yet, this dazzling quote gets headlines, at least in the Daily News Journal in Murfeesboro, Tenn.:

“Wherever the Bible park eventually ends up, it will not be the last one,” said Kevin J. Wright, president of the World Religious Travel Association. “The market is too big.”

2.1 billion Christians in the world, and more than 80 percent of the U.S. claims Christianity, and THAT is the summary? “Too big”. Nice. I don’t know what makes me giggle more: that line or his title. You mean, there actually is a “World Religious Travel Association“? Who knew? I guess with every megachurch out there hosting a trip to Israel, you need an organization that can host coupons.

Well, before the apple fell from the tree (allegorically speaking), man walked freely in the cool of the day… butt naked. And obviously, that’s what they may be thinking at the once reported, “Bible Park USA“.

As reported on the newest link of ‘The Writing on the Wall’, FAITH IN FOCUS, one of the major promoters to this family-friendly theme park has some adult theme ties of his own.

Stay tuned. It’s a roller coaster already.