Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

So, in case you live in Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber (I’m sure it’s on eBay), I’m sure you know someone – if not gotten the cooties personally – who has caught H1N1, affectionately known as “Swine Flu.

Flu in the PewsIt’s so bad out there, there’s a new verb about to be included in the global lexicon – purelled.

I mean, I break wind and grab a bottle of that magical salve in case some of those airborne rockets lands on my fingertips.

You’ve seen that green bottle of gold everywhere – college campuses, office lobbies, restrooms and even football stadiums.

However, this next story from the Pennsylvania Patriot-News gives a fresh and sanitized meaning to “Cleanliness is next to godliness” as holy water is being replaced by… you guessed it, hand sanitizer.

“In an effort to minimize exposure to the H1N1 flu and other diseases, we have joined other Catholic churches in temporarily removing the Holy Water from the entrances to the Cathedral,” the St. Patrick Cathedral bulletin informed parishioners on Sunday.

Apparently, the sign of the Cross isn’t good enough for church-going folk. Now, we will place our flu-ridden bodies in the hands of the Red Cross.

“Please remember that when greeting people before and after Mass and during the Sign of Peace, a simple head bow can replace the handshake and be healthier for everyone,” the bulletin said.

No more shaking hands during service. Keep the flu out of the pews, brothers and sisters! Now, it’s just the knowing nod until further notice.

Hopefully this pandemic will end by 2012. That’s election season. What’s a politician to do when they can’t “shake hands and kiss babies”?! Poor things.

In Memoriam

In Memoriam... into perpetuity

It was one of those days when everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing when the World Trade Center towers plummeted to the ground that fateful day on September 11, 2001.

I lost a few friends – both in working circles and a boy in blue. Maybe you did too?

So… have you forgotten?

Many people have opinions, and like a hole in your butt, most stink. Even more people have a story, grueling to tell and chilling to hear.

But do you know, or have your forgotten, the stark numbers behind the day known for only its own numbers?

New York Magazine created the rundown list, which quite honestly, should be the only math people do today.

That amazing list is a stark reminder of those we lost, the pain it caused and the grief that still exists to this day. Again, remember?

When you have time, Wall Watchers. pray – for our great country, our civil servants in uniform who sacrifice their lives daily, our president and leaders of state, and our holistic protection.

And in case, you – like so, so many in this country have forgot – this day shouldn’t spark political debate but moments of silence. Dispel of the pointing of fingers and decide to give someone a hand. Ignore those dolts who find pleasure in controversy and focus on those who are still dealing with the pain.

In other words, never forget. Never. God bless America. Remember?

Back in November, the BarackStar was eagerly looking for a church home following his procurement of some sweet real estate in Washington D.C.

From Baptist to UMC to even MCC, all churches on the famed “God’s Avenue” wanted to have enough bake sales and homeless outreaches to attract the first family to their congregation.

Well, evidently those marketing efforts haven’t been that successful as the Obama clan have not yet found their sanctified home.

Church and StateQuestion: Does it matter, as USA Today’s Henry Britton ruminates?

The Constitution says there shall be no “religious test,” so perhaps Sunday morning should be the one day each week when the president gets to sleep in. He certainly works hard enough. But before he hits the snooze button, President Obama should return to the question of whether he and his family will join a congregation in the Washington area.

The article is a good read, but before you decide, ask yourself this: Any former or current waiters in the house?

Yes, okay. What was the absolute worst shift to work? Sunday brunch. Why? Christians (or mostly, those dunderheads who dubbed themselves as such).

Any person out there in need of trades? Okay, do ever shun from the plumber or painter with a big ichthus draped across the car? You bet you do, and why? Ethics.

Even though Christians should be the last group of people to have this dark cloud looming over their head, they are typically the first ones to be questioned about it.

So, if that is the stereotype, should it matter if Obama isn’t the church-going dude he espoused to be to all the sheep in America?

I know plenty of people who are truly skilled at their vocation, and could care less about salvation, stigmata or sanctification. Does that make them any less of an expert in their field? Not so much.

Yes, they need Jesus to wash away their sin. Yes, God’s son is the only way to heaven. But there is no way you can tell me without God, someone sucks at their gig. The difference is the Holy Spirit can make them that much better.

The president needs all the help he can get… and with that health care plan, now more than ever. It doesn’t look like the brother is going to church any time soon.

So, aside what you think of his politics, philosophy and utmost devotion for the teleprompter… if he is not a faithful “living epistle” for Jesus Christ, does it affect his means to do his job?

And if you exclaim “Yes,” I – along with more than 87 percent of this country (GOP and Dems alike) – give you George W. Bush as an example.

Any thoughts?

A bird... a plane... nah, just Obama

A bird... a plane... nah, just Obama

Recently, the BarackStar has been on the biggest world wind tour since a certain mythical figure wearing lovely tights and a cod piece. (Anyone see that movie? Woof!)

MEMO to the President: Stay put and mix in a trip through the heartland.

I get the need to improve on U.S. relations with Muslims overseas and love on them while slapping Al Qaeda in the mug.

I understand the U.S. PR bent to close Gitmo and show we are the world.

And I see your struggles to do something about this country’s abysmal predicament with crazed North Korean totalitarians with nuclear fetishes.

But you are the American President! I could care less about you stamping your passport to all places that hate bacon.

That said, maybe there is pressure to be the global figure of peace… you know, kinda like another guy we know, and uh, worship.

It’s no secret people have placed you on polarizing tangents of theology. First, you are the Antichrist. Then, you are the Second Coming.

And let’s not forget about the time you outranked Jesus in a popularity contest. Keep it classy, America.

Now, it seems you have managed to make it somewhere in the middle, thanks to Newsweek Editor Evan Thomas who decided to confuse everyone in the Church when he called the BarackStar, “sort of God.”

Yeah, because that makes sense.

Dude, either he has stigmata or not. The guy can either feed an entire country with a two-piece from Long John Silvers or not.

So what’s with this “sort of God” mess?! Oh, wait… you’re being interviewed on MSNBC. Well, that makes sense.

Thanks to a masonry shout out to Another Brick in the Wall, Polycarp [AKA MultiTilapia, PluristicFish, MultiplePersonalityDisorderStryper, et al] by way of Politico and AmericaBlog (the supreme scooper of this… er, uh, story), we have a fascinating story of hyperbole, science fiction, religion, the occult and half-baked folk who seriously need to seek professional help.

Oh yeah, and the BarackStar’s mama. Thought that would get your attention…

Obama Mama DramaSo, the Mormons have this quirky practice where they believe they can baptize a living person on behalf of a corpse.

This way, any breathing person who in fact doesn’t possess the soul of the dead one can be the baptisee by proxy.

Yeah, perfectly normal.

However, as bananas as this practice is (which uh, completely slaps this Apostle Paul guy in the mullet, so says 1 Corinthians 15:29), the Latter-day Saints are “investigating a ‘serious breach of religious code'” for the baptism (vicarious, temple baptism) of Stanley Ann Durham, the deceased mother of President Barack Obama.

Should be another normal post on the Wall, eh?

Thanks to this screen grab from the registration-only, Mormon-only Web site,, we see the LDS church snagged the soul of the President’s mother – fresh with her new posthumous baptism date?! No, you haven’t seen this on MSNBC? Don’t fret… you probably won’t.

But, as we see on the dates given, the Mormons (who honestly can – and will – do this to anyone) baptized President Obama’s mother amidst the election.

Why is this news to me? Two words: Proposition 8

The LDS Church took on hell to combat gay marriage in California. The money, the advocacy, the mission against – in their words – a liberal agenda. Well, who heads up said “liberal agenda”?!

That would be the son of whose mother you just tried to snatch from death’s grasp to baptize – only to use another person in her stead.

There is a reason they do it in secret. Look at that thing?!

There is a reason they do it in secret. Look at that thing?!

What the…

I didn’t see the Pope asking for former priests to be taken out of purgatory thanks to the long arm of the Mormon law. I don’t believe Billy Graham called up the temple lords looking for Baptist legends to be resurrected.

You see, both know the rapture of the saints will take care of that ballyhoo. But while the Mormons have their eyes set on extraterrestrial lands of beneficence, children of God KNOW their Daddy and how he would act.

My father ain’t a monkey and he dang sure ain’t E.T. This is not a political story, this is a theological story. It just so happens that leader of the free world is thrust in the middle of this boondoggle. My only question is if someone tried dragging my mother through some muck and mire, I would expense everything I had to open a can of whoop @$$.

He is the president… and what’s he doing about this?! Only time will tell. Well, unless the Mormons get involved.