Archive for the ‘Good for a Giggle’ Category

Virgin Mary appears in Daniel Griego's shower

Mary? Um, did you know?

Just in time for Peter Cottontail to come hopping down the Via Dolorosa, um, trail arrives this timely and divine hallucination hailing from Albuquerque, N.M. where the Virgin Mary decided to let the homeowners know after all that traveling from heaven, she was feeling a little rank and needed to take a bath.

I mean, it is Holy Week, so why not a hallowed apparition just beyond the Pantene, weeks-old razor and rubber ducky, right?

It’s timely. It’s sacred. And oh so typical.

Yet, there she is tending to her baby boy Jesus in the stained marble of some dude’s shower. Michelangelo would be so proud.

“We built the house a couple years ago, and we have a stand in the shower and a jacuzzi tub in the master bath,” said Danell Griego, the person who discovered the figure. “We also have a hot tub right outside the master bathroom, so we had not used the tub. I decided I was going to try out the tub since it had been sitting there unused for so long. I got the water and bubbles ready, hopped in and was relaxing and decided to light a candle. When I reached over to grab the candle, right behind it was the image.”

Of course this is a personal moment amidst the flurry of Dora the Explorer bubble bath. Note the statement from the story:

Do not expect long lines of people praying in the Griegos’ home. Besides the media, she said she has only invited friends and family to look at the image.

Love the thoughtfulness there. The Griegos have only invited friends and family. Oh, and the national media throng. Because when you get a pious moment like the mother of our Savior interrupting tub time, it’s always nice to have TMZ on speed dial.

Surely for this avowed Catholic couple, the resurrection of Jesus may not get dibs in worship service, but wowie will these two have a story for their priest about Mary visiting them via the welcoming scent of a strawberry banana flame.

Oh Mary… don’t you know?! Amen. And Hoppy Easter.

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As people traipse into Lent, they do so considering a sacrifice. For some, it’s the booze. For others, it’s the smokes. For me, it would have been pizza. I mean, brother is a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

Hence, it makes sense to me that of all places God Almighty would make a monthly special cameo appearance, it would be in a quaint pizzeria in Scranton, Penn.

Just ask the chosen employee Mary Louise Salerno about it… and surely, she’s United Pentecostal, COGIC or perhaps even Church of God. Yes?

Ms. Salerno was at Brownie’s [Pizzeria] and talking with her granddaughter, 23-year-old Jackie Krouchick, while she made a pizza. Her granddaughter is a single mother who she said is struggling through tough times. Ms. Krouchick told her grandmother she worried she was losing her faith.

As Ms. Salerno poured tomato sauce from a white plastic bucket, she urged her granddaughter to keep believing. That is when she saw it, the image of a man with long hair and a beard in the leftover sauce.

Well, at least Jesus knew to show his mug in the leftover sauce. Surely, our Savior thought to avoid the lunch rush, right? And good for him too because otherwise this sacrosanct meal would have been just another pie. Of course, my initial concern would be for the second coming to not be so messy.

I mean, pepperoni stuck in your teeth as you approach the Pearly Gates is enough to make Peter do a spit-take. Well, maybe that’s just me.

For the viewing pleasure, please enjoy the video… yeah, they took a video of the sauce bucket before Ms. Salerno gave “her permission” more than a day later to clean it out. You know what they say, “Godliness is next to cleanliness.”

Masonry shout out to Another Brick in the Wall, A Little Leaven for the divine inspiration.

Giving at church has been about as flat as, well… attendance in church since the bottom dropped on the national economy. However, when God is alive in your heart, quit is nothing more than a dirty four-letter word.

Just ask Archbishop Dorian Baxter who holds church services in a Royal Canadian Legion Hall as a notable Rock and Roll singer. (Shout out to another brick on the Wall, Bene D the Canuck).

Baxter knew the secret to driving attendance into his hallowed halls – a certified gimmick.

Welcome to Blue Suede Pews (Source: Jim Wilkes | Toronto Star)

And he found one in the most obvious of places – his mirror.

It seems this raven-coiffed, seemingly half-baked son of the 60s shares an obtuse and no-way-close resemblance to a young man named Elvis.

At least that’s what his friends say, but who am I to argue?

I’m sure he gets slammed enough with that shingling he’s rocking around his ears.

Baxter, who also performs as impersonator Elvis Priestley, is quick to point out, the main reason they assemble in the Spartan surroundings of the Royal Canadian Legion hall is to praise God. “We honour Elvis’s commitment to the Lord,” said Baxter, 59… “Like Elvis, the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll, we worship Jesus, the King of Kings.”

Church is free and I would pay money to see that tomfoolery.

What’s next? A Christmas message proclaiming when there was no room at the Inn, Mary went to the “Heartbreak Hotel” instead? How about testifying to the omnipresence of God? You’ll never have to cry out “Are You Lonesome Tonight?”

Evidently, the Elvis dedication hour got him in hot holy water with the Bishopric as Baxter was removed from his original parish in 1998. I know what some of you cynical Wall Watchers are thinking, “At least he has a career in Vegas at the local chapel.” Not according to the Anglican parish, he was stripped of his right to perform marriages. How daftly ironic is that?!

Despite the irony and impersonations, Baxter forged ahead glorifying God while sporting his mutton chops and pompadour when he formed the – wait for it – Christ the King, Graceland Independent Anglican Church in 2003.

Obviously, someone is being more than amused by this stage show – it’s more of a blessing. Baxter is exalting God by toasting a peanut butter and banana sammich. Who would have thunk it?

Baxter’s church sponsors a breakfast program, Christmas hampers and 92 orphans. He said he thinks Elvis would have liked that. He’s also made peace with the main body of the Anglican Church, but has rejected offers to rejoin it.

Ah well, God’s word never returns unto him void, we read in Isaiah 55:11. Or would that be “Return to Sender,” I can’t remember.

Our brave men and women need all the inspiration they can muster to fight for us overseas. Some have their family picture in the pocket. Others have voice mails of their loved one on the phone. And even a few believe their selfless act of admiration is being done in the name of God.

Evidently, a company called Trijicon believes that is the case as this one awesome armory that makes hand-crafted guns… with a freshly engraved inscription that is usually a biblical scripture.

Although no one bother to read the serial numbers on semi-automatic machine guns unless they are ne-er-do-wells just out of welding shop looking to wipe off serial numbers, someone complained, according to this story from WOW News’ Religion News Blog.

The Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations on Wednesday said the continued use of the sights with the religious references would send a negative message to the Muslim world.

The only message most Americans want sent to THAT Muslim world starts with a Army boot clean in Osama’s behind.

And seriously, how is some dolt from the Taliban going to get that close to one of our guns?! Oh yeah, unless he steals it, which in that case, he deserves to get “delivered.”

I wish I had more to say but the great Stephen Colbert has more… watch both the intro and the following clip. Genius!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Onward Christian Soldiers“, posted with vodpod

Without hesitation, if you were to ask me, “HiScrivener, what music do you prefer when you need a quick pick-me-up,” I would answer before the first verb came out of your mouth.

Sure, I like some old school hip-hop as much as the next (or even Nu Soul), but that’s not it. I fancy some New Jack Swing to feel good, or even classic soul to get a little chill. I have even been known to throw on “The Eagles Greatest Hits” or anything by Stevie Ray Vaughan when mowing the grass.

However, none of those melodious genres can put a smile on my face and a tap in my step as quickly as Southern Gospel.

Whether it’s something you would hear from the Gaithers or anything when the great Donnie McClurkin is waxing nostalgic on a live CD, praise that name of Jesus and this brother is feeling good.

So, when I visited another brick in the Wall, Wickle, and saw the name “Ray Stevens,” I was so in. Glad I did because although this song is a classic and helped me get my groove on, and the visions in the video are all too familiar, this genius song forces the Church to consider who it is we worship rather than the tools he uses.

(And I meant that as vessels… not dimwits. But eh, a little Freudian slip never hurt anyone.)