Archive for June 20, 2010

It’s no secret I have quite an aversion to Christian marketing “professionals” that can’t dream up ideas on their own. Instead, they steal pop culture references and logos, throw an ichthus on it and call it “divine revelation.”

Huzzah. Yeah, slow down Ad Council dude.

Much is life for megachurches as well. They have cash to burn because of the faithful giving of the saints; yet, there choice on couture leaves a little… well, a whole lot to be desired.

Solid Rock Church's statue of Jesus. Oy Vey!


Exhibit A: Soild Rock Church in Monroe, Ohio

This uber church thought it would be a good idea to have a statue of Christ so monstrous they figured, “Screw the man on the moon. We want this eyesore to be visible from heaven’s gates.”

The six-story statue dubbed ‘King of Kings’ was later called ‘Touchdown Jesus‘ by the locals, and the name stuck despite the cheesy advertising the church did along the highways.

And for the past few years, that statue – while intended to be a massive reminder of the love of Christ – actually ended up being the signature mark for the idiocracy of the Church. It’s a shame, but so true.

Evidently, God and Zeus were talking about vanity run-a-muck and mockeries one day. God has TBN. Zeus has the remake for “Clash of the Titans.” (woof!) And the argument got heated, one thing led to another and BAM!

Check the story from the Dayton Daily News for the outcome:

Now known as Touchdown Jesus


Charred remnants remained this morning, June 15, of the large Jesus statue iconic to Interstate 75 that was destroyed following an apparent lightning strike during a thunderstorm late Monday night.

The irony is divine, isn’t it? Struck by lightning! One day, those folk are oogling that edifice thinking God is surely pleased. The next, Touchdown Jesus is sacked by about 100,000 volts of possible hostility. Score!

Although God could not be quoted for this article, it makes you think…

Maybe, just maybe, the Lord is trying to get people to come back to him and not some frozen ice sculpture that stands taller than the Golden Gate Bridge.

Should our focus be on gaudy, unforgivable cardinal sins of decor or just the inspiration behind them? That’s not to say we shouldn’t have beautiful pieces of art depicting the sacrifice, life and love of Christ, but to make something like that just to one-up the other church down the block is a clear definition of lunacy.

No one can see God, but Jesus Christ is exactly like him. He ranks higher than everything that has been made. Through his power all things were made—things in heaven and on earth, things seen and unseen, all powers, authorities, lords, and rulers. All things were made through Christ and for Christ. He was there before anything was made, and all things continue because of him. He is the head of the body, which is the church. Everything comes from him. He is the first one who was raised from the dead. So in all things Jesus has first place. (Colossians 1:15-18 NCV)

Burning down the house from the Solid Rock Church

...and After

And if you don’t believe me, check the aftermath. And therein lies the rub.

You think the megalomanical pastors there at Solid Rock think that was a sign? Sure they do. That God would not be pleased with the Greek god’s humor and target practice, so it looks like there will be yet another scoring opportunity, according to the New York Daily News:

A pastor from the church, which sits along an interstate north of Cincinnati, said that artists will submit designs and estimates for creating a new statue in place of the original structure.

And just like the pipe dream of bigots everywhere concerning the South, “Touchdown Jesus” will rise again. Some people just don’t understand. You don’t need this awful attempt at false humility and worship to honor God.

How about build a structure like that in heaven with all the witnessing and outreach you do? Just maybe God will be pleased with that… and be thankful you left all that mortar and spackle for some home builder that wants to honor God another way.