Back in 2008, when the marketing machine for the apocalyptic flop, “2012” was in full swing, people were seriously considering the Mayan calendar to be more trustworthy than a Farmer’s Almanac.

Folk circled December 12, 2012 on their calendars as “The End” and planned their early Christmas shopping accordingly.

We spray painted story-after-story on the Wall about it too because of the near-phobic concern some dunderheads began festering in a deified puppy-iguana-really ugly dude named Quetzalcoatl. His “Age of Transition” was nigh upon us, only three years early.

As we know, we are still alive, the Mayans are still yet holding on for three more years and that movie blew. Much.

There will no movie rights for this tool.

And now I understand why… because the world was never meant to end in 2012. It’s 2011, according to this lovely biblical scholar quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle.

[Harold] Camping, 88, has scrutinized the Bible for almost 70 years and says he has developed a mathematical system to interpret prophecies hidden within the Good Book. One night a few years ago, Camping, a civil engineer by trade, crunched the numbers and was stunned at what he’d found: The world will end May 21, 2011.

“Crunched the numbers”?!

Dude, the Bible isn’t the IRS tax code. You can’t take your tattered KJV66 to H&R Block and stress the need for a rapid refund.

Never mind the fact he’s an octogenarian who has his own twisted Da Vinci Code. Ignore the fact he has supposedly been “scruntizing” the Bible for seven decades. And I suppose we can set aside one verse in canon he probably overlooked:

But of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father (Matthew 24:36 AMP).

Why? Because this guy has a formula rooted in numerology (and probably medical marijuana) that would make Ph.Ds in Physics blush:

The number 5, Camping concluded, equals “atonement.” Ten is “completeness.” Seventeen means “heaven.” Camping patiently explained how he reached his conclusion for May 21, 2011.

“Christ hung on the cross April 1, 33 A.D.,” he began. “Now go to April 1 of 2011 A.D., and that’s 1,978 years.”

Camping then multiplied 1,978 by 365.2422 days – the number of days in each solar year, not to be confused with a calendar year.

Next, Camping noted that April 1 to May 21 encompasses 51 days. Add 51 to the sum of previous multiplication total, and it equals 722,500.

Camping realized that (5 x 10 x 17) x (5 x 10 x 17) = 722,500.

Or put into words: (Atonement x Completeness x Heaven), squared.

“Five times 10 times 17 is telling you a story,” Camping said. “It’s the story from the time Christ made payment for your sins until you’re completely saved.

Yeah, because Jesus just couldn’t his plan for global destruction through to this guy in algebraic equations on a wet nap.

Nice.

Comments
  1. wabd says:

    Harold’s senses went Camping
    and won’t soon be returning!

  2. cregen says:

    The false prophet is a religious organization that is why he is called a false prophet. He is not of God but of the devil. The false prophet is also not a man like the antichrist as the Bible says. The false prophet leads the world astray and guides them back to romanism and away from the truth.

    This religious body show the entire world by television how they are able to heal the sick and speak in tongues and such. We can only find the false prophet protestantism doing this today through people like benny hinn and others.

    the commandments of GOD are to be kept and since the false prophet and its followers preach contrary to this truth they are leading the people of the world into satans snares and receiving the mark of the beast. Revelation 14:6-9. the mark of the beast is all about worship and there is a day set aside that was given to man to show that they worship the Creator God. There is also a counterfeit day of worship that satan has given to the world to show God that they belong to satan. This is a day tha was set aside for the pagans to worship the SUN god. hence SUNday worship. This is the mark of the beast and soon it will be enforced. http://WWW.john1429.org

    so when this comes to pass in the new world order than you might believe.

  3. wickle says:

    I really don’t understand how you recover from getting that so wrong.

    Okay, fine, so people were dumb enough to listen to him once before … but the second time? Really?

    Did their moms not teach them the old “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me” thing?

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