This story takes us waaay behind the scenes into his empire (Courtesy: Breakthrough)

And yes, Wall Watchers, this cat is serious.

At least, that his latest pitch to get your hard-earned money this holiday season. Here’s the story according to the Columbus Dispatch by way of Charisma:

Evidently, televangelist extraordinaire and international huckster Rod Parsley has taken to the airwaves pleading for money – your money – that the devil has stolen from him.

As seen on his Web site, a brazen banner ad reads, “CRISIS: Will you help me take back what the devil stole?”

The Rev. Rod Parsley has issued a desperate plea for money, telling his flock that he is facing a “demonically inspired financial attack” that is threatening his ministry. Parsley is asking for donations by Dec. 31, calling that date an “unavoidable deadline” during an episode of Breakthrough.

Yeah, because he has never used the big, bad wolf in the candy red suit to earn money for marketing purposes before. Only this time, if you look under his mattress, we discover a crisis – a PR source for this ballyhoo.

When asked to comment yesterday, Parsley’s World Harvest Church issued a statement saying the recession caused a decline in member giving in 2009, which has led to a fourth-quarter deficit of $3 million despite a 30 percent reduction in the budget.

A deficit of $3 million. That is almost insurmountable these days. But it’s that specific figure. Why is that monetary value so peculiar. I think I’ve heard it before [Cue harp music].

This year, the church settled for $3.1 million with a family whose son was spanked at its day-care center in 2006, to the point his buttocks and legs were covered with welts and abrasions.

And so, there you have it. “Breakthrough” is about to break down and it’s all his fault.

MEMO to Rod’s daycare workers: That’s not corporal punishment; that’s a beating!

Welts. Abrasions. And not even on the child’s behind? This church would have sued me for manslaughter or something because I would have gone postal up in that piece so fast. Lord have mercy.

In an online message titled “Crisis-Urgent,” Parsley said ministry friends have agreed to match the first $500,000 in donations. Well, that’s nice. Apparently, your hallowed brethren doesn’t watch the news because if I could do that math that easy, I would sit you down on your plush King’s chair and ask you, “What up!”

Dude, you were liable. Pay it, shut up and move on.

That wasn’t the devil. That was your lack of supervision and guidance at the daycare. You hired thugs and hoodrats (not all of them, but come on, I have seen the inner workings of several church daycares. Anyone say “lowest common denominator”?), pay them a paltry fee of $10 an hour, no benefits and still expect them to rear someone else’s child in the way of God?!

Kushite, please!

Parsley is a piece of work. Instead of manning up and finding a way  to pay this $3 million back in the community the right way, he will shill and kowtow to his global viewing audience to get his back yet again. Good luck with that. You have 10 days left.

And to make matters even more cantankerous, we have Parsley promising a troika of blessings – in exchange for a sizable love offering – on his show: God’s favor, good health and stress-free homes.

To which I have only one thing to say, it looks like your 15 minutes may be up. And if this is how you ran your entire ministry, I believe the devil isn’t stealing from you… he’s just taking back his investment.

Comments
  1. […] these harrowing statistics don’t include the scheming rallying cries of Rick Warren and Rod Parsley who pleaded for a rapid-fire stimulus package of their own… and got […]

  2. Scotty says:

    Ron said: “I’m holding out hope that enough people will take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to slam the door shut on this shyster once and for all.”

    I would love to think that would be the case BUT, when people like Robert Tilton, Jim Bakker and others keep coming back I don’t hold out much hope.

  3. Pamela says:

    I read this foolishness on the web site of either Charisma or the Christian Post. People are wising up to that madness. I almost laughed out loud when I read the article. I showed it to my husband and we both felt that maybe finally this doctrinal error will bite the dust.

  4. […] Writing on The Wall – Rod Parsley: “The Devil is stealing my money” – looks like “Hot Rod” needs “Cool Cash” and Rod doesn’t tell […]

  5. Ron says:

    I’m holding out hope that enough people will take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to slam the door shut on this shyster once and for all. In other words, wouldn’t it be wonderful if this holiday season God’s people would give their money to the Salvation Army instead of another one of the Salivatin’ Army profiteers? Gimme a break already with Parsley.How many lawsuits and back door payments does this guy have to make before the “church” wises up to his real mission,fleecing the flock?
    Besides, why doesn’t he just ask Paul & Jan for the dough? He’s obviously shilled for them long enough to call in a rather large “favor”.

    Ron

  6. boydmiller says:

    Without the tax exemption, guys like Parsley wouldn’t exist.

  7. Absolutely rediculous. This is what’s wrong with big religion.

    • hiscrivener says:

      The problem is he does not represent “big religion.” He represents himself. And because of his misanthrope actions, “we” get lumped in the same fiery furnace with the likes of him. Jesus is alive and well… and is about relationship. We need church for fellowship. We don’t need dudes like this leading church. Peace.

  8. looks like “Hot Rod” needs “Cool Cash”…..

    What is so ironic is that when viewing the link to Parsley’s own web page, Parsley does not exactly tell what was stolen, does not tell us exactly how much he needs, and also what will happen to him if he doesn’t get the money by December 31.

    But your blog post does tell the story. He and his ministry needs to pay out the 3.1 Million and not expect the donors to pay it out to where it appears he doesn’t miss a step.

  9. dickkopf says:

    I believe you just put your mouth on the mand o’ god.

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