These saints believe in D-O-G, and they’re not even dyslexic

Posted: November 12, 2009 in Above the Fold, Good for a Giggle, OMG!, On Your Wall
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Statistics have shown church attendance is on the decline. People are disengaged with religion. And evagnelism just ain’t what it used to be.

Something has got to be done, but what?


Evidently Woof N' Worship is catching on

If you’re the Rev. Tom Eggebeen of Covenant Presbyterian Church, you realize church attendance is going to the dogs. So if you can’t beat it, join it.

So Eggebeen came up with a hair-raising idea: He would turn God’s house into a doghouse by offering a 30-minute service complete with individual doggie beds, canine prayers and an offering of dog treats.

He hopes it will reinvigorate the church’s connection with the community, provide solace to elderly members and, possibly, attract new worshippers who are as crazy about God as they are about their four-legged friends.

Really? Can you imagine. I suppose this helped most of the octogenarians that attend church, but was it really uplifting? And did we discover if all dogs really go to heaven?

Traditionally, conventional Christians believe that only humans have redeemable souls, said Laura Hobgood-Oster, a religion professor at Southwestern University in Georgetown, Texas.

“It’s the changing family structure, where pets are really central and religious communities are starting to recognize that people need various kinds of rituals that include their pets,” she said. “More and more people in mainline Christianity are considering them to have some kind of soul.”

There are many people who believe dearly departed puppies will be at the golden gates when they arrive, but don’t we need to jump start the two-legged folk in church first?

Emma Sczesniak came to Covenant for the first time, lured by the promise that she could worship with her black Lab, Midnight, and her wire-haired Dachshund-terrier mix, Marley.“I don’t have any kids, so my pets have always been my children, so it does mean a lot,” she said of the dog-inclusive service. “I haven’t been to church in a long time and this may push me into it. I’m getting older and I’ve been thinking about those things again.”

I suppose whatever works, so good on Eggebeen for thinking of it. My only prayer is that after these aloof church spectators are “pushed into it” they discover the real reason of why they should be there in the first place.

However, in case Eggebeen needs other ideas to trick up service, here’s some suggestions:

  • Announce to the Presbyterian Church that “dogma” is hereby redefined. (Where’s that rim shot?)
  • Present your illustrated sermon series about the Church going to the dogs. Or perhaps “The Stench of Sin.” I think it may be more convincing than you think.
  • Since you have a church full of older people, I’m sure one of the gentlemen in attendance battles a case of the holders during your message. Now, he can have someone to blame it on. (I know, kinda gets ya’ right in the heart, eh?)
  • Petition Pope Benedict for a new assortment of saints that’s sure to get some news: Canonize Lassie, Rin-Tin-Tin, Toto, Duke from the “Beverly Hillbillies”, Eddie from “Frasier” and of course Fang from “Harry Potter”. It is in L.A. after all.
  • Have Snoop Dogg be a guest speaker during a morning homily. It makes sense, and never mind the whole Muslim thing. You’ll diversify your church for sure, my nizzle.
  1. Ross L. Gillum says:

    Well, often during my rather lengthy life, I have heard comments about Christianity “going to the dogs”. We are now here………….literally. 🙂 While I am really not opposed to seeing folks bring Fido into the sanctuary, this type thing causes me to reflect on how I do wish that WE Christians, yes myself included, had fought for the last 50 years to keep Christ on our lips in the public fray. Without realizing it we now are living a form of the persecution we can read about in Tortured for Christ, by Richard Wurmbrand……..and most are too numb to realize it.

    Sadly ideas like this “Share prayer with Fido” piece seem to be the norm now, not the exception. However, since this is probably a 501(c)(3), this makes sense, and he can be applauded for his creativity……maybe even get you a tax credit for Fido…….but it proves he no longer is really sincere at preaching the full gospel. The underground church of the Martyrs is developing in our nation. They are tired of this kind of frivolity when they were coming for spiritual nourishment and left hungry.

    This kind of thing reminds me that we are still asleep if we believe we are still experiencing the true religious freedoms of the 40’s and 50’s. We are far from there, evidenced by the fact that now most of us can find a place to sit, even at the back on Sunday, and even when we are late……yet I recall having to leave early so we didn’t HAVE to sit at the back or stand. This does say it all. Yes, sadly that was almost 50 years ago. We must realize we, as a whole…not necessarily individually, have become somewhat “ashamed” to “own” our Lord, or this would not…..NO, could not have happened.

    As ALWAYS, I am grateful for you and the irony, humor, and downright atrocities that you help us see in Christian circles today. You bring me to shock and amazement, or laughter, and always to a deep reflection about my journey with my Saviour. Sometimes, as in this case, all three.


    BTW: If you haven’t read the book I mentioned, be prepared for the emergence of contrite heart, and the streams of tears. Although I really had no idea how it would impact me, it helped me see how far we are away from the Gospel in this nation today, and revealed my own inadequacies at the same time. Either should have humbled me to look inwardly, seek forgiveness, and renew my heart. They both did. Again thank you for always directing us back to His Word.

  2. hiscrivener says:

    Nice! In other news, I would love to hear confessional… just once. You know someone is being called a “B….” in that piece. 🙂

  3. wickle says:

    Do they offer Milk-Bones at Communion?

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