So, in case you live in Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber (I’m sure it’s on eBay), I’m sure you know someone – if not gotten the cooties personally – who has caught H1N1, affectionately known as “Swine Flu.”
It’s so bad out there, there’s a new verb about to be included in the global lexicon – purelled.
I mean, I break wind and grab a bottle of that magical salve in case some of those airborne rockets lands on my fingertips.
You’ve seen that green bottle of gold everywhere – college campuses, office lobbies, restrooms and even football stadiums.
However, this next story from the Pennsylvania Patriot-News gives a fresh and sanitized meaning to “Cleanliness is next to godliness” as holy water is being replaced by… you guessed it, hand sanitizer.
“In an effort to minimize exposure to the H1N1 flu and other diseases, we have joined other Catholic churches in temporarily removing the Holy Water from the entrances to the Cathedral,” the St. Patrick Cathedral bulletin informed parishioners on Sunday.
Apparently, the sign of the Cross isn’t good enough for church-going folk. Now, we will place our flu-ridden bodies in the hands of the Red Cross.
“Please remember that when greeting people before and after Mass and during the Sign of Peace, a simple head bow can replace the handshake and be healthier for everyone,” the bulletin said.
No more shaking hands during service. Keep the flu out of the pews, brothers and sisters! Now, it’s just the knowing nod until further notice.
Hopefully this pandemic will end by 2012. That’s election season. What’s a politician to do when they can’t “shake hands and kiss babies”?! Poor things.