Archive for October 2, 2009

Hooded Daniel Jones (right) with his brother Barney at a meeting of their Jedi church in Holyhead, North Wales  (Courtesy: Daily Mail)

Hooded Daniel Jones (right) with his brother Barney at a meeting of their Jedi church in Holyhead, North Wales (Courtesy: Daily Mail)

That sound you hear blaring is the NERD ALERT!

And this one should have your ears ringing because that mercury in the dork-o-meter should be blowing out the top and causing this wall to be toxic.

I got the Purell… and you’re going to need it.

Thanks to the Daily Mail (UK), we find the founder of the Jedi religion (yes, as in Star Wars) was thrown out of a Tesco supermarket for not removing his Jedi hood.

Daniel Jones, 23, who has 500,000 followers worldwide, was told the hood flouted store rules and was ordered to remove it or leave the supermarket. As a result Jones, who also goes by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, claims he has been ‘victimised over his beliefs’ and left ’emotionally humiliated’ by the supermarket in Bangor, North Wales.

Okay, where in name of Yoda do I start?

1. Did you report 500,000 followers? I mean, ardent church-going folk believe George Lucas’ potpourri theology is actually a way to ascribe to the finer things in life?

I know what happens when I die – walking on streets of gold with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. What happens when they die? Do they return to earth in fuzzy standard definition providing advice for their pocket-protector-wearing cronies languishing in their mama’s basement?

2. You left “emotionally humiliated”? Let me get this straight – you are walking around in the produce section (fitting since he looks like a big melon) and get approached by some guy making $10 an hour (a little more than 6 pounds, for those scoring at home in Great Britain) telling you to “Take it off.”

Hey, young Padawan, ever heard of shoplifting? What, did Obi-Wan not advise you if you look a crook, the only “force” you’re going to feel is a manager’s foot in your behind?!

And now, according to the Guardian (UK), this young Je-dork is considering suing for “religious discrimination.

“They weren’t listening to me and were rude. They had three people around me. It was intimidating.” Jones, who has made an official complaint to Tesco, is considering a boycott of the store and is seeking legal advice. Tesco said: “He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods.” [Yeah, that’s a real quote.]

Obviously, there is no Tescos on my side of the pond, but if there were, my money would so go there, for nothing more than this quote and middle finger to PR:

“If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.”

Hrm. Look stupid you do. Get a life you should. Hrm.