Archive for September 15, 2009

Yeah, what a Lothario.

Yeah, what a Lothario.

Pony trotting. Cigar smoking. Greek writing. Lecherous looking. Money stealing. That was Dr. Gene Scott. (MEMO to Wall Watchers, if you know what’s good for you, do watch that link. Hil. Ar. Ee. Ous!)

Anyone who has experienced a hankering for late-night TV and erstwhile, a quest for things of God, have found this tool back in his heyday puffing on a stogie demanding cash to pay for his horse stables and alcohol bingeser, ministry.

“Get on the telephone,” the foolish dolt could be heard yelling at the top of his tar-filled lungs. It wasn’t about Jesus. It was about cash money, but at least he was honest about it.

You knew that because every time he would break for “the phones to get hot,” this charlatan would go to video clips of rubenesque women in complimentary sweaters while rocking horseback a la Lady Godiva.

And then he died at the age of 75… and that’s when it got really interesting.

His uh, “wife” – nearly 40 years his junior – took over the ministry with armored truck in tow making more than… wait for it… $1 million per month, as hubby did in his corpulent day! No wondered she jumped on the equine gravy train.

Relatively quiet from late night benders, Marie Claire magazine (yeah, that’s what I said… not precisely the bastion of investigative journalism) decided to get involved (with some spry writing) and blow the “Jesus Saves” sign justly off the Universal Cathedral in Los Angeles.

Courtesy: Marie Claire

Courtesy: Marie Claire

Shortly after his funeral, Doc Scott’s comely young wife assumed University’s pulpit. But after her first sermon, someone anonymously mailed churchgoers Easter cards featuring snapshots of a porn star named Barbi Bridges, who looked remarkably similar to Pastor Melissa Scott. One image showed the woman with her legs spread wide, Virgin Mary and baby Jesus postage stamps covering her privates. Another featured a “See you Sunday!” banner plastered across her bare chest; underneath, it read: “The Church Where You Can Do Anything … Anything.”

In lieu of Ted Haggard, Jim Bakker, Robert Tilton, Jim Swaggart and Paul Crouch ubiquitous falls from grace, this seemed just another day at the ecumenical office. She denied it, kept on preaching and no one said, “Boo!”

Until this story came out and now, “Barbie Bridges” and “Melissa Scott” are two of the most-searched terms on Google. Stay classy, world.

Some of the die-hard brainwashed folk don’t understand the ballyhoo or see the resemblance. They just follow the bit in their collective mouths and agree this crusty curmudgeon just met this hot woman who, according to her Web site, is a natural linguist with command of twenty languages, she digs deeply into her vast collection of ancient manuscripts to find and communicate the purest understanding of what the original inspired writers of the Bible had to say.

Oh yeah, and she was a porn queen. Yeah, those two go together like PB & J.

Courtesy: Mothrust

Courtesy: Mothrust

Is there a resemblance? Is “Barbie Bridges” and uh, Pastor Scott indeed the same? You tell me… it must be the eyes.

Now, allow me to preface, God is a god of second chances and regardless of what she did to eh, “earn a living” back in the day, if God was in the mix of repentance, Melissa is forgiven and all is well.

However, based on the greased-pig tactics of the Scott empire, this woman is doing the same thing to get the same thing – tricks for treats. It’s all about the Benjamins, right Pastor?

So, just how did Melissa get her baptism by fire? Apparently, Gene Scott had more mystical powers of pablum than we knew:

“I’m the fruit of his lifelong ministry. He birthed me,” Scott says, choking up.

Well, that’s nice. Back to the show…

If you are proud of a testimony, why hide it? Why not express what God is capable of doing in your life? Why not lead others to the gospel with your message and the power of the Lord to remove sin as far as the east is from the west? Maybe, you’re just full of hot air like your Cuban stick smoking husband?

Asked about the Barbie Bridges matter, Scott smacks her berry-stained lips and scoffs. “It’s definitely a freak show. I’ve seen a good portion of the stuff on the Internet, and honestly, I almost have to laugh at it,” she says, flashing the smile again. Pressed further, Scott sighs deeply, then adds, “Okay, I was never an actress in a pornographic movie. So what does that do? You defend that, what else do you start defending?

I don’t know about you, but if someone accused me of being in porn, I would look into my own style of “laying on of hands” and slap that lying devil in the grill. Barbie… er, Melissa? She just rolls with it. Regretfully, her pulpit is stained with more than memories of being a pony girl. It’s her predecessor and his flagrant abuse of trust, apologetics and love of God. And then there is rumors of Melissa following in her hubby’s cankles demanding people to work for free so she can pay for her condo and surrounded by a dozen bodyguards at all times.

Jesus had that… only the guards were interested in the body of Christ, not one that has been seen across the Web on a daily basis.