Archive for September 2, 2009

People will say and do the darnedest things to save a quick buck.

They’ll create a sickness, invent an emergency or just tell the police officer who stopped him the other day on the tollway that if he didn’t get to work on time, he could get in big trouble and with this economy, that wasn’t something he was willing to risk.

Eh, not so much. But check the wallet in your toga just in case.

Eh, not so much. But check the wallet in your toga just in case.

Or, uh, so I heard that could work in a pinch.

And then there is this chic from Jacksonville, Fla. who completely has us all beat when she claimed to be … wait for it … Mrs. Jesus Christ.

Emma Kim-Tashis Harrison, 25, walked into the Coggin Pontiac dealership on Blanding Boulevard looking for some new wheels. She settled on a vehicle that cost almost $70,000, but things hit a snag when she grabbed her checkbook, according to a Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office arrest report… So were the names on the check. It was signed “Mr. and Mrs. Jesus and Emma Christ.”

Well, I suppose if that doesn’t keep you out of the pokey, nothing will. And even if it didn’t, you would probably play a Jedi mind trick, heal a leper and get out on good behavior within 24 hours.

Are you kidding me with this? Nope. The Missus Messiah had even more drivel to go with her insane defense:

And where was her husband in all this? She said Jesus Christ would return next week to sign the paperwork and pick up the car.

Jesus. Married? Kushite, please.

Do you know why Jesus would never marry in the first place? Because if he did, can you imagine the argument his wife would have encountered while she was snapping her fingers and popping her neck saying, “You just think you’re perfect, don’t you?!”

Well, since you asked…