For years, certain megachurch pastors – event planners of the lukewarm pablum, if you will – have monochromatically aligned their proselytizing with about as much fervor as choosing the right socks to wear with an Italian suit.

You know, no passion but concerned with the aesthetics of it all.

PD*28795882Anywhoo, a big huzzah to the seeker-sensitive pastors of the world because all the cheerleading you do for a “good life” and a “better you” and the “best energy” God can muster has finally paid off.

Jesus caved in, left the right hand of his father, dawned some Levis and has become your official mascot thanks to bronze statue outside an East Sussex church in England and this story from The Telegraph (UK).

Here hangs our Lord, ravishing with some designer beach-bummin’ threads, hair flailing in the wind and rocking a major three-o-clock shadow.

Looking hot, J.C. Now, that’s my kind of Savior.

[Snap. Snap. Go in a circle. Snap.]

Father [David, of the Our Lady Immaculate and St. Philip Neri Catholic Church in Uckfield] Buckley said: “You are always looking for new ways to enrich people in the experience of Christianity and it is good people can be open-minded to appreciate it.

Sounds like a life preserver of spin control out of a reputation downfall to me.

Contemporary clothing. fresh locks, no grooming issues. Ah, there’s the rub.

People are in such a frentic rush to ensure Jesus can relate to modern-day issues that we push the envelope of sacrilege to present a Jesus is feeling a 21st century vibe.

NOW LOOK AT HIM?! Is that how he looked like carrying his hoist beam on the Via Dolorosa? Probably not, but I’m sure folk were complimenting his stylish Birkenstocks along those cobblestone streets.

No, that’s not in the Bible, but then again, neither is most of the drivel the aforementioned Kumbaya Klan shells out on Sundays. I’m just sayin’.

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