“They asked her [Ruth] did she ever think about divorce and she said, ‘No, I’ve never thought of divorce in all these 35 years of marriage, but I did think of murder a few times.'” ~ Rev. Dr. Billy Graham
Fun and yuks, right? When an esteemed man of God says something like that, people chuckle and golf clap.
Now, get a 6′ 7″, 300 pound, brazenly mustachioed behemoth, clad with shades, a do rag and a fanny pack saying that and folk have a different response.
If you are fan of the WWE, MMA (his nephew is a fighter, save without the roids… did I say that out loud?), American Gladiators or even VH1, you know life in the Hogan household hasn’t been a bed of roses.
And now that is plastique, half-century-old, scorned wife has gone cougar and wrangled one of her incarcerated son’s BFFs, Terry is definitely more Hulk, less David Banner as he ruminated recently in Rolling Stone:
“I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat,” Hogan said in the interview for a feature that will run in Friday’s edition of the magazine. “You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife … I totally understand O.J. I get it.”
And if I’m that kid – who evidently hasn’t witnessed those 24″ pythons personally… yet – I’m telling old Linda, “It’s been swell. Peace out. I got a job in Somalia. They gave me a relocation package and a sweet eye patch as part of my work uniform.”
Are you kidding me?! He is not only taking the juice, he is channeling the “Juice” from prison?!
So, of course, there is the rhetoric: “The media misinterpreted my comment,” from major news on Hogan. “We are looking into this as a legal threat,” from same sources on Linda’s lawyer. And “OMG! Did you see that blue vein in his forehead swell to the size of a small gas pipeline,” from TMZ and the National Enquirer.
[I’ve] leaned on my religion. I was saved when I was 14. I accepted Christ as my savior. He died on the cross and paid for my sins….I found some very good friends–Michael Beckwith with the Agape Church told me about being positive and the power of positive thinking. I could have went the wrong way. I could have self-destructed, but I took the high road. [Rolling Stone] took half a sentence to sell magazines.
Yeah, but come on, Hulkster. If you gave me that gold, I’m boot scootin’ all the way to Cash America Pawn and hawking that in for some ka-ching. Well, I’m glad to hear all those vitamins and prayers did you some good as a nubile youth.
But, tell me: when you are confronted by your bubbly wife’s attorney (that you are no doubt paying for indirectly) who wants to add terroristic threat to the divorce subpoena, um… “What’cha gonna do? Brother?”