joel-osteen-smileSo, Joel & Victoria Osteen have put on their riding boots, vanity glasses and crawled back on the “Me Express.”

This week has been a busy one for the Bobsie Twins, as they have left the hallowed halls of Lakewood for yet another whirlwind tour of “Hope-la” among the leering press. Indulgently, they carried on a few appearances not found in most churches:

Well, the gala expedition came to a close in a big way for those in the Church, not just his church. On Larry King Live discussing global events, hope for today and his own bible of the same name (yeah, not vain at all), his man crush on the Barackstar… and oh yeah, GAY MARRIAGE! Hit the CNN transcript:

King: Do you think that eventually many more states are going to allow same-sex marriage?

Joel Osteen: You know, I don’t know where it’s all going … I’d love to see it stay between a male and a female, not knocking anybody else.

King: Supposing there were more states that had it. What would be the harm?

Victoria Osteen: We really want to see marriage between a man and a woman. There [are] going to be people who get together and have relationships and have what they call their families. But I just think marriage should be sanctified by the church. It should be between a man and a woman.

King: Should a gay couple be allowed to adopt?

Joel Osteen: I think that, again, it’s best for a male and a female. I’m not saying that gay people aren’t good people. …

King: Or good parents.

Joel Osteen: Yeah, exactly. But again, I like to shoot for God’s best, and that is a father and a mother in the home. It doesn’t always happen. I know a lot of people raised by single parents. And you know what? We bless them and pray for them as well. But I think God’s best is a male and female.

So, there was a little bit of psychopablum and Jesus-lite in there seeing how we all “shoot for God’s best” (Oy!) but I have to give the pentecostal robot some love because he finally stands up for something rather than watching the pitch go flailing by. Larry King may be a curmudgeon, but he is still one cagey dude and he tried to stick Barbie & Ken in the corner. But, welcome back to reality, Joel! Become that “better you,” brother.

I love some of the PR training kicking in for Joel, “not knocking anybody else.” You know Joel, if you wanted to do something for your image, why not rock the Seinfeld and tell Larry, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that?!” Also, about the image phantasm, what’s with this taking on Pontiff Power (ta-dah!). “You bless them?!” Oooo-k.

Whatever the semantics, it’s refreshing to see a little bit of his amazing daddy sticking his pentecostal finger in the chest of the “agenda”. Pray for them, encourage them, love them into the kingdom, but make the difference between tolerance and acceptance. Be a man of God first, and a kitschy dork trying to pass off the cool, Euro pressed button down. Uh, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  1. Oh how I wish to shower you all in glitter and the oh-so-wonderful rainbows I love dearly. But, clearly I’m unable to do that, as I do not know you. So, instead I’ll drench you in glamorous facts of life. While reading this, one of the things I read struck a nerve more than the rest of this invalid spew. “We bless them and we pray for them as well.” Wait a moment. You’ll pray for us? You’ll pray for the homosexuals? Ah, there we go. Now I get it! You’ll pray that we sort our fabulous selves out and realize that straight it the way to go! Ok, I understand now. But I don’t think you do. Now, my mom told me quite recently that, while conversing with a close friend of hers, the topic of gays, and my bisexuality, came up. Don’t ask me how, just listen. My mom’s friend, bless her homophobic heart, told my mother (and of all people to say such a horrendous thing to!) that she’ll pray for me. Kind of like this Pastor Joe said he’ll pray for my colorful community. I took it the same as I did with dear old Pastor Joe. I thought about it, though, for a moment when my mother told me what was said. And, after much deliberation, I smiled, I laughed even!
    “Mom,” I said to her, quite seriously, “This woman said she’d pray for me. I take that as her being doused in bigotry, and you know what? I do believe I’ll pray for her too. I’ll honestly pray that she go out in the real world, and get herself some education.”
    Now, my mom knew just what I meant by this, but I don’t believe you do. By education, I mean that I do hope that she’ll educate herself in how idiotic she is, and how praying for me, and others like me, will both get her nowhere in her sad life, and will also do nothing. Although, if some people were to know about her action of praying for people like me, some, and I include myself, would laugh at how ridiculous she is. Just as I laugh at how ridiculous, and horrendously moronic, the Pastor is. Don’t get me wrong, though. I respect that he has an opinion and is entitled to it, but as do I, and I also have the freedom to love whomever I happen to love, meaning he has no right to wish to change me, or wish that I will change. Because, believe me, I’m not going to change for any of you bigots. I am not obligated to, and I will not let what you say influence who I am. I am proud of being bisexual, the same way you may take pride in being heterosexual, although I’ve never seen a heterosexual say or express his or her pride in liking the opposite gender. But when I do, I assure you, I will laugh at their attempt to convert myself and my community to heterosexuality.

  2. That picture made me laugh out loud. I am surprised that he took a stand.

    Notice how he keeps talking about “God’s best” and doesn’t mention sin.

  3. Hi,

    That picture is awesome!

    Maybe there is still hope for Joel…..nah, there IS hope for Joel if he’d only locate his Bible, tear the plastic cover off the box it came in and READ it cover to cover!

    Happy Easter “Scribe”!!!


    • hiscrivener says:

      Amen to that! He did have one of those cutsy little blue Bibles when his daddy had him dedicated, but you know, kids grow up and things get misplaced.

      But hey, the kid’s great at TV production. 🙂

      You too, Phil. Peace, brother!

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