Car lots are closing. Sales are in the toilet. And the dolts who run the car companies are standing outside Capitol Hill with dark sunglasses and a coffee mug hoping for dimes or quarters to take back to Detroit.
“Sometimes it gets so crazy that faith is all you’ve got left,” said Chip Davis, who runs a paintless dent removal service that services Jarrett. Davis immediately noticed the anomaly and identified it as the central figure of Christianity.
Yeah, the smudge on the door dude swears is the Shroud of Turin is why this made the news, and kept the God Sighting streak alive and well. Mazel Tov.
However, unlike most sacrosanct sightings where the line is a mile long and just a wide, people are playing musical opinions with this deified door.
“It looks a little bit like Sasquatch,” piped up Ruth Johnson from the receptionist desk. James Bauman Jr., who was getting an oil change, described it as “Christ in a Jedi outfit,” then as a “Persian king.” He then said there was probably significance in the stain, just as there is in Barack Obama being president and Israel’s conflict with Hamas.
Sasquatch? Jesus Skywalker? Really?
Oh, dear Lord. If I could make this stuff up, I would be a copywriter for SNL or something. But alas, I sit here in complete anonymity just enjoying this stuff from afar. Joy to the world, indeed.